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Part four here, part three there, part two hither, part one yonder.
So I've come to the end of the five days of suck, working extra because a coworker was on vacation this week. As detailed in the fourth part, I expected shit, piss, blood, tears and suck, with possibly a smattering of semen and vomit to complete the septifectra (neologism ftw?) of suck.
No blood, no semen and no vomit. Thank god I guess.
Technically, there was blood. I slapped almost $900 down on a lightly used 2011 11" Macbook Air, an i7 that came with a free Superdrive on everyone's favorite online auction site this morning. According to Boyfriend it is akin to finding something close to the Holy Grail, as they don't come up for sale too often, were semi uncommon to begin with and are easily worth nearly $1200. Had to get my inner voice to shut the fuck up and stop freaking out about the cost. Inner voice was shocked near into silence but went "hiss foam froth my preciousssssssss" when someone else put a bid on the auction at the last second. But I am victorious! And the computer is MINE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...aheh...*cough*
*
God's Gift To Swine Gets Taken Down A Notch
GGTS came in with his cousin and started harassing manager A. "Baby, do you know how many girls I've had? Baby, take a guess? Come on!"
Cousin was paying at my register. Deadpan, she says to him, "You mean all the girls or just the ones I think were girls?"
GGTS went silent. It was brilliant.
DamnitDamnitDamnit
Aid of Rite has touchscreen registers. To put in a "Healthiness +" discount, you press the Discount key. To clear out a discount, you press the key again, which makes customers angry as they then have to give me their card or key in their phone number on the pinpad device that barely works. To pay with credit, you hit the credit/debit/EBT card, which is right above the discount button.
Guess what button I kept pressing?
"Gods, Save My Loins From What I Might Do"
(paraphrased from Navigating The Slush Pile, which I've beenstalking obsessively reading diligently as my novel is nearing completion!!! But am not going to have anyone else read it until I've reworked it enough to ask for opinions.)
Male customer, easily 20-30 years my senior, semi-regular but somewhat crazy, wanders in with a lightweight hoodie on, but unzipped and no shirt, and I had never seen him baredchested bedore. Save for a bit of a belly...dude was hot. Had to look elsewhere and quickly fan myself after he left. Waste that he's devoted to his cat. (*waits for the jokes about pussy cats and whatnot*)
*
Have 2 days off-ish, have second job to do work with; then have to go back next weekend. There may be real blood yet.
So I've come to the end of the five days of suck, working extra because a coworker was on vacation this week. As detailed in the fourth part, I expected shit, piss, blood, tears and suck, with possibly a smattering of semen and vomit to complete the septifectra (neologism ftw?) of suck.
No blood, no semen and no vomit. Thank god I guess.
Technically, there was blood. I slapped almost $900 down on a lightly used 2011 11" Macbook Air, an i7 that came with a free Superdrive on everyone's favorite online auction site this morning. According to Boyfriend it is akin to finding something close to the Holy Grail, as they don't come up for sale too often, were semi uncommon to begin with and are easily worth nearly $1200. Had to get my inner voice to shut the fuck up and stop freaking out about the cost. Inner voice was shocked near into silence but went "hiss foam froth my preciousssssssss" when someone else put a bid on the auction at the last second. But I am victorious! And the computer is MINE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...aheh...*cough*
*
God's Gift To Swine Gets Taken Down A Notch
GGTS came in with his cousin and started harassing manager A. "Baby, do you know how many girls I've had? Baby, take a guess? Come on!"
Cousin was paying at my register. Deadpan, she says to him, "You mean all the girls or just the ones I think were girls?"
GGTS went silent. It was brilliant.
DamnitDamnitDamnit
Aid of Rite has touchscreen registers. To put in a "Healthiness +" discount, you press the Discount key. To clear out a discount, you press the key again, which makes customers angry as they then have to give me their card or key in their phone number on the pinpad device that barely works. To pay with credit, you hit the credit/debit/EBT card, which is right above the discount button.
Guess what button I kept pressing?
"Gods, Save My Loins From What I Might Do"
(paraphrased from Navigating The Slush Pile, which I've been
Male customer, easily 20-30 years my senior, semi-regular but somewhat crazy, wanders in with a lightweight hoodie on, but unzipped and no shirt, and I had never seen him baredchested bedore. Save for a bit of a belly...dude was hot. Had to look elsewhere and quickly fan myself after he left. Waste that he's devoted to his cat. (*waits for the jokes about pussy cats and whatnot*)
*
Have 2 days off-ish, have second job to do work with; then have to go back next weekend. There may be real blood yet.
It means I can replace my white macbook. White Macbook is actually a bit more powerful, RAM wise (6 gigs of RAM as opposed to Newbie's 4) but the Air is easily about half the weight. According to 
little champ lasted me 5 years tho. replaced it with an open box mini. 
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