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Just some bits from the hotel I used to work at. I've got a CO-CW post to come and a long MiM post that probably needs a read through first.
No I will not lower the rate
So, Wales is full, you’ve decided to come across the bridge and invade me. Well there was a spy in your camp, we knew of your plans and have increased our rate. So has almost every other hotel in the city – ok so some weren’t aware and waited until the last minute to jack up their rates but they’ll learn – and you will not find a cheap room anywhere.
Stop asking and do NOT tell me that PedExia and the like are selling rooms for £59. They aren’t. Trust me, I set those rates buddy. I still have my job, therefore I know they aren’t.
Also, it’s not bloody horses, it’s the bloody golf. Stop trying to be smart.
Corporate rates
You do NOT get your rates all the bloody time. Nope, it says so on the contract. Stop pitching a fit over it.
Pre payment
Yes we require PRE payment for an ADVANCE purchase rate. No you can’t pay on the day. Fuckwit.
My name
It’s NOT Grace. I don’t know how you get Grace from my name. Chris, well it’s close in that it starts with the same letter but… still no. On this note, why are almost all my travel agents called Katie, it’s freaking me out a bit. Loads of Sam’s and Aaron’s too.
Non paying no shows
You sir, have a special place reserved in hell. I HATE that I have to chase you for payment of three rooms because you “forgot” to turn up despite me calling you to make sure you hadn’t triple booked. Over three hundred quid I have to explain to my boss.
Non paying guests
Night Manager, I could have killed you, I was so tempted to. Also the guest, this applies to you. Eight nights and you walk out without paying. Now guests just walking out with their cases on check out day are completely normal. We take pre auths at check in to cover this… do you hear me NM? Why did you NOT take a card? Asshole.
And guest… you have stayed before, and you now refuse to speak to the reception manager on the phone, then on third call give her a card that declines and are back to refusing to answer us.
However, you have forgotten the cardinal rule, do NOT fuck with reservations. I am a bitch when needed. I had to reign in the bitch to speak to the travel agent he booked with, who was very apologetic, directed me to and I quote myself “oh fuck, the no show team”.
I’m sure they’re lovely however they have 30ish days to get back to us with payment. That can plays havoc with my stats so I’m not their biggest fan, but I wouldn’t do their job (and hey it’s not their fault).
So off goes a fax, I was going to refuse to take anymore bookings until he paid. I had a back up plan to call one of his higher ups if this didn't work.
Oh and he did pay, without me going beyond the travel agent.
Room Size
They are small as fuck. I wouldn’t suggest bringing a cricket let alone a cat to swing. Don’t whinge that we can’t fit 3 – 7 people in a room. Actually, which hotel in my city can fit 7 people in there?
Yes you can read… now process what you regurgitated.
We loaded a new promotion online and not even ten minutes later we get a call from Captain sarky pants who wants to book on the new promo rate but doesn’t understand the booking system on our website. That would be pick a city, pick the dates, number of people and click book..
Anyway it’s been up for ten minutes, and myself and CW have no idea about it. None at all. He then proceeds to have a go at CW and read off the website – which we’ve opened and told him to book the damn thing online – that he’ll be helped efficiently if he calls. Well to be honest you were dude, we said go book online it’ll be quicker. You could have been fucking booked by now but no… we have to put you on hold and find fuck all in the system, then speak to our manager who then takes your booking – as he’s the only one with any knowledge of the new promo. He does state that we won’t know about rates if he’s just loaded them online in the past ten minutes we need to set shit up on the in house system.
No I will not lower the rate
So, Wales is full, you’ve decided to come across the bridge and invade me. Well there was a spy in your camp, we knew of your plans and have increased our rate. So has almost every other hotel in the city – ok so some weren’t aware and waited until the last minute to jack up their rates but they’ll learn – and you will not find a cheap room anywhere.
Stop asking and do NOT tell me that PedExia and the like are selling rooms for £59. They aren’t. Trust me, I set those rates buddy. I still have my job, therefore I know they aren’t.
Also, it’s not bloody horses, it’s the bloody golf. Stop trying to be smart.
Corporate rates
You do NOT get your rates all the bloody time. Nope, it says so on the contract. Stop pitching a fit over it.
Pre payment
Yes we require PRE payment for an ADVANCE purchase rate. No you can’t pay on the day. Fuckwit.
My name
It’s NOT Grace. I don’t know how you get Grace from my name. Chris, well it’s close in that it starts with the same letter but… still no. On this note, why are almost all my travel agents called Katie, it’s freaking me out a bit. Loads of Sam’s and Aaron’s too.
Non paying no shows
You sir, have a special place reserved in hell. I HATE that I have to chase you for payment of three rooms because you “forgot” to turn up despite me calling you to make sure you hadn’t triple booked. Over three hundred quid I have to explain to my boss.
Non paying guests
Night Manager, I could have killed you, I was so tempted to. Also the guest, this applies to you. Eight nights and you walk out without paying. Now guests just walking out with their cases on check out day are completely normal. We take pre auths at check in to cover this… do you hear me NM? Why did you NOT take a card? Asshole.
And guest… you have stayed before, and you now refuse to speak to the reception manager on the phone, then on third call give her a card that declines and are back to refusing to answer us.
However, you have forgotten the cardinal rule, do NOT fuck with reservations. I am a bitch when needed. I had to reign in the bitch to speak to the travel agent he booked with, who was very apologetic, directed me to and I quote myself “oh fuck, the no show team”.
I’m sure they’re lovely however they have 30ish days to get back to us with payment. That can plays havoc with my stats so I’m not their biggest fan, but I wouldn’t do their job (and hey it’s not their fault).
So off goes a fax, I was going to refuse to take anymore bookings until he paid. I had a back up plan to call one of his higher ups if this didn't work.
Oh and he did pay, without me going beyond the travel agent.
Room Size
They are small as fuck. I wouldn’t suggest bringing a cricket let alone a cat to swing. Don’t whinge that we can’t fit 3 – 7 people in a room. Actually, which hotel in my city can fit 7 people in there?
Yes you can read… now process what you regurgitated.
We loaded a new promotion online and not even ten minutes later we get a call from Captain sarky pants who wants to book on the new promo rate but doesn’t understand the booking system on our website. That would be pick a city, pick the dates, number of people and click book..
Anyway it’s been up for ten minutes, and myself and CW have no idea about it. None at all. He then proceeds to have a go at CW and read off the website – which we’ve opened and told him to book the damn thing online – that he’ll be helped efficiently if he calls. Well to be honest you were dude, we said go book online it’ll be quicker. You could have been fucking booked by now but no… we have to put you on hold and find fuck all in the system, then speak to our manager who then takes your booking – as he’s the only one with any knowledge of the new promo. He does state that we won’t know about rates if he’s just loaded them online in the past ten minutes we need to set shit up on the in house system.
Love the comment. We used to make jokes about the entrance fee into Wales when crossing the Severn (lived near St. David's for 4 1/2 years). Ok, now I'm homesick....
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