The Fail Brothers Three

[Lore]

UPDATE

So, today, a guy comes in. Looks pretty young, and weirdly familiar. Went and got Colt 45 (I made him leave his backpack with me), and when he came up to the counter, I asked for his I.D.

It was FB1! I never saw him up close before, just in grainy security photos. Of course I informed him that he was banned.

FB1: "Oh. Am I?"

Me: "YES. You stole a bottle of rum, AND my coworker's tip jar. That's pretty fucking low, man. You're banned."

FB1: "For how long?"

Me: (Making it up on the fly) "Until the police say you can come back."

FB1: "I already talked to the police."

Me: "Well, until they come in and tell us, you can't be in here. You have to go."

FB1: "Okay. Sorry. I was drunk, you know..."

Me: *stare*

FB1: *leaves*

I saw him walk into the mall from the other entrance, and so I got the security guard and told him, but he came back to inform me that FB1 had escaped the premises.

I for one am astonished at FB1's audacity. He KNEW his picture was on the Wall of Shame for theft. Surely he must be aware that we actually look at the damned thing and discuss the nasty little kleptomaniacs. And yet he strolls in and presents complete I.D., even though his name is right on the Wall! Saucy little brat. If I see him again I'll tell him he owes my co-worker money - that'll probably send him away for good!

[Jester]

How long are you banned for?

Until you pay for the bottle of rum you stole.

AND until you pay the coworker for the tips you stole.

AND until management decides they don't mind having a shitstain like you on premises.

In other words, pretty much forever, fucknugget.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

He had an older brother, FB2, who was banned from our shop after he was caught bootlegging for underaged kids in the parking lot.

I used to have to deal with that when I worked at my old convenience store. Teens would hang around the front of the store and try to get people coming in to buy them smokes or buy/cash lottery tickets for them. The person they asked would tell me about them and as soon as I served that person and he or she left, I would go outside and threaten to call the cops. Always made them scatter.

Some kids even asked me once to buy cigarettes for them when I went to enter the store to begin my shift that day. I have to conclude that none of the kids in that little group had ever tried to harass customers at our store before, or at least not while I was working, because otherwise why the hell would you ask one of the ladies who work there and therefore is most definitely going to say no?!?

(He claimed to be the older brother of the other two, although I had never seen him before and while FB1 and 2 were very fair, this guy was quite dark. Possible, I suppose, but whatever their parent was doing, it wasn't the same person).

Not necessarily. My younger brother is rather brown, as are a few members of my mother's side of the family. My maternal grandfather isn't positive, but he's pretty sure that we have a native ancestor or two, which would account for the skin tone.

Meanwhile I, his sister and the one most similar to him genetically, am so pale that people often mistake me for being sick.

We've both got the same parents, and yet we've got two completely different skin tones. Genes just like to do weird things sometimes.