If you know, then why are you bitching about it?

[sld72382]

Like all ISPs we offer some sort of antivirus protection. Like most ISP-provided antivirus software, it sucks. But I digress....

Anyway, this customer calls in with virus issue. Apparently, he got a virus that the software wouldn't catch (not surprising). I'm going to paraphrase here because it's been a while, but anyway....

Me: *Asks customer how I can help.*

SC: I got a virus on my computer, and your software seems to have missed it. I thought this was supposed to protect me from viruses!

Me: *Gives canned apology statement.* I'm going to give you an analogy, if you will. Having an antivirus program on your computer is like modern safety features on new cars. Just how having airbags, door guards etc do not render you invincible from getting hurt in a crash, just having an antivirus installed does not render you invincible from getting a virus. The virus may be programmed to blow past popular protection, or it could be so new that [software] may not have it in its database yet....

SC: I already know this, you don't need to lecture me on computer security!

Me: Well as it stands being that virus removal would go beyond what we do here, I'll give you the options for support on it... *Gives various options including our pay-for-support offering.*

SC: You mean to tell me that even though I pay for [software], I need to pay to get this virus out of my system?!

Me: That is correct sir, if you get a virus that [software] doesn't catch we need to use other methods to remove it, and only [other dept] has the authorization to do that.

SC: But the other dept will charge me!

Me: I'm sorry sir but I have no control over that. The only thing I can do is get you over to our customer service line where they can tell you the price.

SC: This is HORRIBLE customer service! I shouldn't be charged for something your software should have caught!

Me: We don't make the software, [software company] does. If you want to complain about the effectiveness of the software, I'll give you the phone # to them and you can take it up with them.

SC: You know what? Just transfer me to customer service! I'll find out the price but let me tell you, I'm not happy!

Me: Please hold while I transfer you....

*Transferred.*

Okay, if he really knew about computer security, he wouldn't use that brand, much less complain when I tell him we don't cover virus removal.

[Nurian]

"When I get my $50,000 for clicking on that ad that opened up 15 windows and made my give it permissions to install, I'll have your job!!!"

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

"When I get my $50,000 for clicking on that ad that opened up 15 windows and made my give it permissions to install, I'll have your job!!!"

Bahahahahaha! I need that in sign form near my desk.

[PepperElf]

Me: *Gives canned apology statement.* I'm going to give you an analogy, if you will. Having an antivirus program on your computer is like modern safety features on new cars. Just how having airbags, door guards etc do not render you invincible from getting hurt in a crash, just having an antivirus installed does not render you invincible from getting a virus. The virus may be programmed to blow past popular protection, or it could be so new that [software] may not have it in its database yet....

One of the guys I use to work with "Paul" use to say almost the same thing.

"Just because you have car insurance doesn't mean you won't get in an accident."

cos yeah, we always had people who thought they should get free virus removals "because the software didn't catch it".


we'd have to explain to them that - especially with some very popular brands - people are always scripting viruses to get around antivirus, sometimes even specifically disabling the protection software.

[roxtar]

My philosophy has always been to never rely on a single protection product.

I run avast on all of my windows boxen, my browsers all have abp and noscript, regular backups are made, I have a thumbdrive with agv and some other tools to help should a box become compromised.

[MadMike]

I was pretty much the "tech support" for my ex's parents for awhile, and the guy could be pretty frustrating to deal with sometimes. He was another one who thought that having an antivirus should stop anything and everything, and worse yet, this was back in the days before automatic updates, so you had to download updates from time to time, something that even I didn't always remember to do. And even worse still, he wouldn't listen to a damn word anyone had to say.

He asked me to look at his computer because it was acting up, and I found a few really nasty viruses on it, that were bad enough that I had to wipe the thing and start over. When I told him what happened, he told me, "I thought that virus program was supposed to stop that from happening!" I explained to him that first, nothing catches every single possible virus, and second, there are new viruses constantly being released, and for that reason you have to keep your scanner updated. He seemed to understand, until the exact same thing happened about a year later, and he said the exact same thing again.

[Ironclad Alibi]

He seemed to understand, until the exact same thing happened about a year later, and he said the exact same thing again.

Is he the same guy that complains to the phone company about getting another bill when he already paid it last month?