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Call center classics #2: Dude, it's the best call ever!

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  • #1

    Call center classics #2: Dude, it's the best call ever!

    Me: Thank you for calling empire wireless, my name is CC how may I help you?
    SC: Yeah dude, why the F@#$ is my phone off?!
    Me: I don't know, but If you give me your phone or account number I can find out for you.
    SC: XXX-XXXX
    Me: Well it looks like you haven't paid your bill yet.
    SC: B@#$@#$! Look dude, I didn't HAVE to pay the bill. YOU PEOPLE were supposed to give me a credit because you F!@$#D up my bill last month.
    Me: You were promised a credit?
    SC: Yeah dude, that's what I just F@$@N told you.
    Me: Would you mind not swearing at me please.
    SC: Whatever.
    Me: Ok, I do see here that you called in a couple of times a few weeks ago but there's no notes mentioning any credits or adjustments.
    SC: NOT my problem dude, just get me my D$%N credit already. I have calls to make.
    Me: Well unfortunately since there's no note regarding any credit and I can't just give you one.
    SC: WHAT THE F$%@ DUDE?!! You better give me that credit or I'll find you and F#@K you up!
    Me: Sir, STOP SWEARING. This is your second warning. If you continue doing it, I WILL disconnect this call. (Note: we were 100% allowed to do this. 2 warnings and then a disconnect on strike 3)
    SC: You are really pissing me off dude, get me your manager, NOW!
    Me: Ok, let's back up here if we can. Why were you supposed to get this credit?
    SC: Dude. Manager. NOW.
    Me: One moment.

    My awesome sup comes over and although I can only hear his side of the call it's quite entertaining:

    "Now you said you were supposed to get a credit?....Sir, Sir...my name is not Dude...I just want to know...stop swearing sir...I apologize the credit wasn't given and I want to help you but...sir...sir...sir, my name is NOT Dude...I just wanted to...sir, STOP swearing at me...sir..."

    At this point sup muted the call and said to me: "I swear if this guy calls me dude one more time I WILL find a way to choke him through this phone line".

    <resume call>

    "Sir, I DO want to help you...You haven't let me...no you haven't...please STOP calling me dude, I've given you my name twice...that's not true...not it's not...sir, STOP swearing...very well, I've already warned you twice and you didn't stop. Therefore I am disconnecting this call because you would not stop swearing and let me provide you any assistance. Thank you for calling Empire wireless, have a great day. <click>

    Sup takes off his headset and looks at me: "Dude, that SUCKED."

    See why I loved him?

    On a side note, the guy on this call wasn't saying "Dude" the way a surfer would say it, he was saying it in the same tone he was saying all of his other words as if it were a perfectly normal thing to use in everyday conversation.
    Last edited by CrazedClerkthe2nd; 11-05-2012, 10:32 PM.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant
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  • #2
    Hey dude, don't feel so bad
    Take a sad call and make it better...

    The earworm brought to you courtesy of... somebody else!
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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    • #3
      Don't you wish you could have started calling him "Asshole" every time he called you dude? Either he'd hang up or he'd learn to cut it out, fast. *sigh* Just a fantasy, I know...
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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      • #4
        Dude stole from the other dude's phrasing huh? couldn't resist. That does seem weird, wonder if he could have gotten the credit from a rep who never marked it down? In the field perhaps?
        Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.
        Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
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        • #5
          This thread should have been named "Dude, Where's My Credit?"
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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          • #6
            The Dude abides.
            "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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            • #7
              Quoth LillFilly View Post
              The Dude abides.
              Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

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              • #8
                Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                This thread should have been named "Dude, Where's My Credit?"
                That was actually my runner up choice.
                "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                • #9
                  I have that "dude" slang in my conversational speaking syntax. It's actually moved out of just being "surfer slang." Though I typically only say it when someone has said something completely ridiculous (Dude, seriously?) or if someone is prattling on about something and I need them to shut the hell up.

                  I don't use it like a comma though. It does not punctuate all my sentences.
                  My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
                  It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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                  • #10
                    You had an awesome supervisor.

                    Quoth AmbrosiaWriter
                    I have that "dude" slang in my conversational speaking syntax. It's actually moved out of just being "surfer slang." Though I typically only say it when someone has said something completely ridiculous (Dude, seriously?) or if someone is prattling on about something and I need them to shut the hell up.
                    Same here. I think the guy was using it the same way others use "like" and it's just automatic.
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                    Fiancee: What?!
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                    • #11
                      It scares me that I once had a friend with whom I could hold an entire five-minute, completely comprehensible conversation using no words other than "dude", in different inflections >_< Kinda like speaking in Grunt, I suppose.
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
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                      • #12
                        Quoth EricKei View Post
                        It scares me that I once had a friend with whom I could hold an entire five-minute, completely comprehensible conversation using no words other than "dude", in different inflections >_< Kinda like speaking in Grunt, I suppose.
                        "Smurf" is another one of those "universal words". Be glad you didn't get a Sweedish chef on the line trying to tell you how his cellphone was borked.
                        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                        • #13
                          Nekojin and I have had entire conversations consisting of a single word or syllable or sound.

                          It's fun.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #14
                            My daughter the school teacher has a poster showing how to use the F-word for a complete conversation. She keeps it at home.
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                              On a side note, the guy on this call wasn't saying "Dude" the way a surfer would say it, he was saying it in the same tone he was saying all of his other words as if it were a perfectly normal thing to use in everyday conversation.
                              It is for many people, myself included. I use "dude" probably every day, to address both guys and girls. As in, "Dude, what's up?" "Dude, where ya been?" "That dress rocks on you, dude!" And so on and so on.

                              I'm from Arizona. We do that.

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                               Still A Customer."

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