my mom (a minor rant)

[KellyHabersham]

*some aspects of this may be more appropriate for Fratching, so I do apologize if I'm a bit vague with details........I'm definitely frustrated with my daughter, but this particular rant is about what I'm seeing as my mom's attitude*

Basically.....my daughter is suspended from school for the next few days, because she was indirectly involved in something another student had done. At this point we don't know if there will be any further consequences, but if Heather does have to do community service, my mom says I have to be responsible for getting that sorted out.

The problem with this is .......there is no specific directory or listing of places which will allow teens to do community service, the school wasn't much help when Heather had this problem last year, and we had a really tough time working something out. My mom knows that I do NOT handle stress very well, she's aware that having Aspergers makes things more challenging for me, and telling me things like "I'm not sure what you're going to do" isn't exactly helping.

(just needed to get that off my chest....keeping my fingers crossed that suspension is all Heather will have to do)

[JustaCashier]

Kelly, is there someone else close to you; another relative, or a friend, that could help you sort this out? Or, could you maybe try contacting a school counselor/social worker, explain your situation, and see if they could help?

I, too, don't handle stress well, and in my own case, I've struggled with trying to seek out Social Services, and Health Care. One of my biggest stumbling blocks is dealing with the associated paperwork, and other bureaucratic type crap. It's like my brain simply locks up.

I haven't shared this on CS yet, but nearly a year and a half ago, I became homeless.

Caught pneumonia around Thanksgiving last year, but thanks to friends (most of which I met in a local online community) a great Medical Center in my City and their helpful, proactive Staff, some helpful people in Social Service Agencies, and a fair dose of good luck, I am back to getting my health issues under control (lost the job, insurance, etc due to extended illness four years ago) as well as looking on getting back into permanent housing.

I know it can be hard to ask for help, I still struggle with that, but my point is if you can explain to others what you struggle with, and why, someone out there may be able and willing to help you.

Good luck.

Mike

[depechemodefan]

Too bad the school can't help you with a list of community services.

I imagine the county or city you live in has a help line. I think it's 311 for all cities.

A lot of people call the library to get community service for their kid. Sometimes we don't have enough for a kid to do so we turn people away (which I'm surprised about since books always need to be put back on the shelves) though also there has to be someone in charge of community service and either the person in charge got a new position or no one could be found to fill that role.

Don't know what else I can say can be helpful. Though if it's the Court telling her to get community service, you have to be carefull because not everything that looks to you as community service will be accepted by the Court.

[Shpepper]

Call the juvenile court in your area. Explain the situation and ask them for a referral to somewhere she can do her community service. Ask when you call if there is a diversion department as they are usually nicer and easier to deal with since the diversion court wants to get kids on the right track and out of trouble. Hope it works out for you and you can manage to find what she needs to do.

The united way helpline might also have referrals. Here in Washington, that number is 211. I think it is that way nation wide.

[KellyHabersham]

Thanks much for the replies.....it definitely helps! I don't have any further info at this point, other than a court isn't involved....as far as I know, it's just the school. And I have to admit that one reason I was feeling a little panicky is that I remember from working in the church office, having people come in wanting/needing a place to do community service, and telling me they had a hard time finding a place that would let them do that.

[telecom_goddess]

Is there a grange hall in the area? At mine we have kids doing community service by volunteering at various events.

[bhskittykatt]

Our local parks & rec will regularly host work parties for park clean-up. I've gone on a few and noticed that the work party supervisors will sign any paperwork those doing required community service bring.

[KellyHabersham]

An update:


It turns out that Heather will have to do community service, but this is being done at/for the high school.......apparently there's been issues with finding places where teens could do the community service.

She also will have to attend two drug & alcohol classes, both of which are on nights when I'm not normally scheduled to work. So I'm hoping to be able to go to at least one of them, if not, my mom is fine with doing this.

*just to clear things up if my initial post was confusing - last year's suspension was at a different school, and people from church had various projects Heather was able to help with for community service.