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New Year's suckiness with a hint of awesome.

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  • New Year's suckiness with a hint of awesome.

    Not Panhandling

    We have this semi regular that we cannot stand. He's a scruffy guy that lives in a van and thinks that all the cashiers in the store secretly lust after him. He shows up for a few weeks, vanishes, and then returns a few months later.

    He walks into my store where I am dealing with a long line of tourists. He promptly starts to approach them, begging for a quarter so he could afford a beer. I tell to cease and desist as we do not allow pandhandling on the property.

    He gives me this sarcastic little bow and heads to the beer cooler. He then proceeds to stand next to the door holding a beer can. I keep an eye on him as I was afraid he was going to steal it.

    A woman enters the store and he starts whispering to her. She storms over and slams some money on the counter. She then yells that her boyfriend was not panhandling, he was asking a friend for money.


    The paper bag conspiracy

    I was explaining our plastic bag ban to a tourist when the next customer in line butted into our conversation.

    SC: Isn't that just like the government? To make stores ban plastic bags and then tax them ten cents for paper.

    Me: The government doesn't get that, the store keeps the money we get from the bags.

    SC: My friend works at a store and he told me this. It's a conspiracy.

    Well obviously, I a cashier at a store would know nothing about this subject.


    And now the awesome

    I was explaining to yet another customer about the plastic bag ban.

    Upon hearing that he would have to pay for a paper bag, he said "Welcome to Hippietown, USA, where you have to pay for your f***ing grocery bags."

    He started stomping off when the customer behind him said loud enough for the SC to hear "What a dick!" The SC obviously heard him as he shot the awesome customer a glare before leaving. Awesome customer is now my new best friend.
    Last edited by TruthHurts; 01-02-2013, 04:24 AM.
    My Horror Blog

    Cinemania

  • #2
    Quoth TruthHurts View Post
    He's a scruffy guy that lives in a van ...
    This van wouldn't happen to be down by the river, would it?

    SC
    "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

    Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

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    • #3
      Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
      This van wouldn't happen to be down by the river, would it?

      SC
      I saw what you did there

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      • #4
        Quoth TruthHurts View Post
        Not Panhandling SC: My friend works at a store and he told me this. It's a conspiracy.
        He may work at *a* store but he doesn't work at *your* store and as such I think you'd be better informed about what happens at *your* store.
        I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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        • #5
          Quoth TruthHurts View Post
          He gives me this sarcastic little bow and heads to the beer cooler. He then proceeds to stand next to the door holding a beer can. I keep an eye on him as I was afraid he was going to steal it.

          A woman enters the store and he starts whispering to her. She storms over and slams some money on the counter. She then yells that her boyfriend was not panhandling, he was asking a friend for money.
          Since there were 2 people involved in this purchase (panhandler, and woman who slammed down the money), I hope you asked both of them for ID. I also hope at least one of them didn't have it, resulting in you refusing the sale.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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