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Time for the Coronation!

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  • Time for the Coronation!

    Because yesterday I do believe that I cemented my place as the King of All Smartasses, which I've been calling myself for years.

    The setting: Don's Place, a local (and locals) bar. You wanna get away from the tourists in Key West? Head to Don's. Any tourists that end up here don't stay long.

    I met a friend there after I finished work, but said friend was drunk (and on a mission), and quickly left. And...I quickly got drawn into the dice game going on at the bar, with several of the patrons and Don himself.

    (Yes, I spent a good portion of my New Year's Day in a dive bar, drinking and gambling. Mom would be so proud!)

    While I've been going there on and off for years, I had never actually met Don. I quickly discovered that he was a complete and total smartass, and quite witty in his own right. See, us smartasses can quickly spot our own. As I was losing badly in the dice game (and I mean EPICALLY badly!), it was inevitable that I would start saying things like "Fuck you, Don." To which Don laughed. And said, "That's actually my full name: Fuck You Don. It's what my wife calls me." Like I said, this guy was quick and he was funny. We got along great. Anyway, at some point, the following conversation took place.

    JESTER: "Fuck you, Don. You asshole."
    DON: (laughing) "Yeah, you can call me that. Hell, you can call me anything you want. Chances are I earned it at some point."
    JESTER: "Okay....ya pedophile."
    DON:
    EVERYONE ELSE:
    DON: "Okay, ya got me on that one."

    He was actually speechless there for a moment, making that sputtering sound that people make when they are trying to say something, but just can't get the words to form.


    Hail to the King, baby.

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    I take it that was....child's play.
    By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

    "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

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    • #3
      Awww..look at the kidders here....

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      • #4
        We're all gangsters... second child hoods.
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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