You stay classy, locals

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So, at work tonight I'm pushing a line of shopping carts through the slushy parking lot when a woman flops out of a minivan and, as I'm passing, leans back and horks up an impressive-sounding loogy.

At least she didn't spit. She wouldn't have liked me had she spit on me.

Then after work I'm in the grocery store heading down the coffee aisle when the old guy in front of me stops, blocks the aisle with himself and his shopping cart, digs out a kleenex, wraps it around his finger and sticks the whole works deep up his nose.

Thanks mister, I'm no longer grocery shopping while hungry. The store probably doesn't like you much though.

Aside--Walking past a display of Pepsi, I noticed a life-size cardboard cutout of Sofia Vergara standing next to it. Took everything I had not to stick the thing under my arm and walk out the door with it.

[Cranky Cabbie]

Ah, here we see thee common slob in thee wild. Upon entering a new supermarket for the first time, it marks it's territory by hiding dirty diapers behind products around thee perimeter. Once that's done, it begins trying to attract a mate by clearing it's sinuses noisily at passers by.

Yeah I'll stop now.

[b2addm]

Ewwww. Just fucking ewwww. On both of those idiotic nasty asses. Gross.

[Mr Hero]

Aside--Walking past a display of Pepsi, I noticed a life-size cardboard cutout of Sofia Vergara standing next to it. Took everything I had not to stick the thing under my arm and walk out the door with it.

And it sounds like it would have been similar to a Family Guy episode.

[Kitten in the box]

I had a guy cut a fart right next to me in the Mart of Wal. To say it stunk would be an understatement. I replied it smells of decaying ass on a rotten carcass in the middle of July. The guy giggled and walked away. Immature idiot.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That subspecies, sadly, is not rare at all. Nor is it confined to the area known a Cheeselandia either.

We have that same group (possibly from the same branch of that tree that didn't fork) here in North Carolinaia as well.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I had a guy cut a fart right next to me in the Mart of Wal. To say it stunk would be an understatement. I replied it smells of decaying ass on a rotten carcass in the middle of July. The guy giggled and walked away. Immature idiot.

Could've been my co-worker. My sympathies.

[blas]

Or my coworker. I recently discovered why he insists on having his own set of machines to run, and doesn't want anyone nearby him or touching his machines.

God it smells like dead bodies and rotten crackers.

[Mr. Anubite]

Upon entering a new supermarket for the first time, it marks it's territory by hiding dirty diapers behind products around thee perimeter.

Has that happened? I don't want to believe that someone would do that.

[Marmalady]

Has that happened? I don't want to believe that someone would do that.

They do. Believe me, they do.

That's when they're not stealing a pair of kid's briefs out of a multi-pack, and leaving the wet ones on the shelf for us to find....

[PepperElf]

i like that she "flopped" out of the vehicle. that just sounds... interesting.

[Dreamstalker]

At my store yesterday, it seemed all the elderly customers were cutting nasty, lingering farts in the checkout lines or aisles. If I sense one in an aisle it's easy to get away from it (or employ a can of air freshener), but when trapped at a register...urgh x_x (it was always the customer at the next register, behind me so the stench wafted into the cashier space and hung around)

[AyreBiskits]

At my store yesterday, it seemed all the elderly customers were cutting nasty, lingering farts in the checkout lines or aisles.

my husband calls that "crop-dusting"

[Shalom]

That's when they're not stealing a pair of kid's briefs out of a multi-pack, and leaving the wet ones on the shelf for us to find....

Hey, they took one, they left one, they figure you're even.

Of course in the universe that has them as the center about which it revolves, that's reasonable. In ours, not so much.

[smileyeagle1021]

That's when they're not stealing a pair of kid's briefs out of a multi-pack, and leaving the wet ones on the shelf for us to find....

And sadly I watch enough Investigation Discovery that I'm still wondering what made them wet