Visit from the God Squad

[Sapphire Silk]

It's fun to argue with them. People like are just setting themselves up to get pissed off by someone who knows the Bible as well as they do

[Eevie]

I'm considering keeping a paper shredder next to the door next Halloween for when I have a religious pamphlet shoved in my face... I can only imagine their faces. That or thank them for the free tissue...

[Whirly_bird]

But to get back on topic, just thought of this one. Had a coworker who was shall we say a definite non-believer and found a pamphlet that left him offended. So of course he shared with everyone but more in a "can you believe this stuff" kind of way and yeah it was pretty out there.

Never figured how something you don't believe in can offend you.

[Chanlin]

My favorite story to tell:

I was leaving a Target store. As I got in my car I saw two men in suits with bibles and pamphlets approaching. Now I am an avid gamer and have a bunch of D&D and other such books in my car. The most visible one sitting in the back seat at the time was this.

Of course next to it I also had The Book of Exalted Deed and next to that a copy of The Divine Comedy for a class I was taking at the time.

Anyhow they got up to my car the older of the two motioning for me to roll down my window. I didn't even get the window all the way down (power windows too I might add) when the older man's partner saw the books in the back seat pointed them out and they walked away. So either they guessed correctly that I didn't want to be bothered, I'm already saved, or I can't be

[Seshat]

What offends me about Jesus-proselytisers is how stupid and inattentive they must think I am. They seem to assume that I've never heard of Jesus Christ. Given that I live in a modern Western civilisation, former English colony, yadda yadda; it's pretty much impossible to avoid knowing about JC.

Anyway...
Best time I ever had turning away a bunch of the God Squad was when they opened by asking what I thought was the greatest problem in the world today.

Off the cuff, I explained that it was overpopulation. And then covered why. And then told them what God could do about it: either remove existing population through any of a number of horrible means (which I enumerated), or reduce future population. And then pointed out that "God helps those who help themselves", and that God has so thoughtfully enabled Man to develop contraceptive techniques......

They pretty much fled at the first semi-polite chance they could find.

(BTW: I feel that a person's spiritual choices are between them, their religious advisor of choice, and the congregation of their preferred church/synagogue/temple/mosque/whatever.)

[Lace Neil Singer]

I once had a God Squadder ask me, "Have you found Jesus yet?"

I replied, "I didn't know he was lost. Have you tried looking under the sofa?"

[raudf]

I so want to make a "Where's Waldo" type book with Jesus... just for these people. Hold up the book and say, "See I found him! He was hiding behind the lamp post all along!"

At work, when I dealt with them, I went with, "I do not discuss religion or politics while on the clock. Thank you for your concern, however..." and threw away whatever they decided to hand me. I realize these people honestly think they are helping others, but that doesn't mean I have to accept their "help."

At home, I've let my oldest have his way on this. When he was a toddler, he'd see me answering the door to someone like this and start SCREAMING and CRYING like the dickens. My living room was a disaster area (because of said toddler) so, when they said if I'd like Jesus to save me, I'd look as frazzled as possible and say, "If he's willing to babysit and pick up, then sure!"

Alternatively, my husband will talk bible with them until they are so baffled that they forgot why they came in the first place. It's fun watching a Jehovah's trying to convert a Methodist who is trying to convert the Jehovah's. It really is. I even popped the popcorn once for it. (The moment their brain goes BSOD on them is priceless.)

[Zapper]

My favorite story to tell:

I was leaving a Target store. As I got in my car I saw two men in suits with bibles and pamphlets approaching. Now I am an avid gamer and have a bunch of D&D and other such books in my car. <MR SNIPPY WAS HERE>

Perhaps you rolled a saving throw?

[taurinejunkie]

My favorite reaction to people handing out flyers (and there are quite a few organizations that do around here, Co$ is a major offender) is to go "Hold on a second" and then pull out and light up my Zippo.

[smileyeagle1021]

It's fun watching a Jehovah's trying to convert a Methodist who is trying to convert the Jehovah's. It really is. I even popped the popcorn once for it. (The moment their brain goes BSOD on them is priceless.)

You should see a Mormon and a Jehovah's go at it... I had a roommate who was a returned Mormon missionary who would always answer when he saw Jehovah's at the door

[Lovecats]

I once had a God Squadder ask me, "Have you found Jesus yet?"

I replied, "I didn't know he was lost. Have you tried looking under the sofa?"

I would look behind the frig. Lost things are almost always there.

[MadMike]

OK, I've seen this kind of thread here before, and it never goes well. I've been here long enough to know that, and I should have stepped in sooner. There's nothing wrong with venting about customers trying to force their views on the employees, who are basically a captive audience in most places, but this sort of thread always turns into a relgion-bashing fest.

If anyone wants to continue this discussion at Fratching, feel free. But it's done here.