The Christening

[Sapphire Silk]

. . . or you know you're a nurse when . . . .



















You get your clothing splattered with liquid stool.

It happens at the end of every semester. Someone gets doused with poo, completing their initiation into the sacred profession of nursing. It's a badge of honor, really.

This semester's dousing was unusually spectacular. The student was helping the patient to the bathroom . . . she knew she was about to have diarrhea . . . when she . . .


Exploded.

I do mean that literally.

It was on the floor. It was on the bed. It was on the computer station next to the bed. It was on the ceiling.

It was between the mattress and the bed frame.

Amazingly, the student only got splash on the legs of her uniform.

Unfortunately, it's a maternity uniform. Had to order a 3X from the OR so she'd have something to change into.

The odor was . . . epic

You could smell it all the way to the nursing station.

Wow.

[Amina516]

: golfclap :

[Aethian]

I did that when I was still a premie in dolls clothes. Got my Mom, the nurse, the crib, the wall, the floor... Poor guy had to clean me up, Mom up, and try to get a weight to see how much I lost. Mom made him pie and then later on when she was their for some nursing practice she had brought him a cake which was close to his birthday.

[Eevie]

The odor was . . . epic

You could smell it all the way to the nursing station.

Well, I was thinking about getting a late night snack... But I don't think I'm very hungry anymore...

[Seshat]

This makes me feel a lot less guilty about leaking menstrual fluid during a meditation session at the rehab hospital. Especially since it was only a teaspoonful or so.

I did offer to clean it up! But they wouldn't let me. Presumably it had to be cleaned some specific way.

[Sapphire Silk]

But they wouldn't let me. Presumably it had to be cleaned some specific way.

It does, actually. Blood is a biohazard whatever its source.

[Seshat]

That's what I figured. But hey, MY biohazard. Not like I could catch anything from my own blood!

... but if they did it, they would know it was cleaned properly.

[PepperElf]

All I can say is... you'd be amazed where poop can go sometimes.

I still remember Mom calling out, "Hubby, PepperElf... SOMEONE GET DOWN HERE!"

I got up and found out that my cat ... his butt had gone through a very liquid butt explosion. And I think he spread it more by trying to bury it in the litter. It was splattered all over the bathroom floor, on the walls, and then he tracked it through the kitchen to the dining room (where we had a back door).

I don't remember the smell... just being surprised as to how far he managed to splat.

[trailerparkmedic]

Ewwwww. It was c diff or melena, wasn't it? Those two things are guaranteed to make me gag.

[Sapphire Silk]

Ewwwww. It was c diff or melena, wasn't it? Those two things are guaranteed to make me gag.

Actually, there was nothing physically wrong with the patient at all that we could find. Every test under the sun came back negative.

We think it was a somatic issue, based on some other aspects of her history that I can't divulge, that caused her to have very real physical symptoms . . . including projective diarrhea.

[telecom_goddess]

THIS is why I never got into nursing or the medical profession in any way. No thanks.