Tweet
Stand Aside, Useless Prole! Bourgeois Comin' Through!
A "lady" comes in ready to BLEVE* all over the place.
*(Google it, learnin' is fun!)
Seems we have her car for illegal parking, and she's adamant that her car was simply TOO expensive to have not lost value somehow by us towing it, probably because we damaged it either physically or metaphorically.
I tried to explain to her that we aren't in the habit of breaking other peoples cars, as that's bad for business, and that the technology we use to tow cars, when used properly, does not damage them.
She wasn't convinced, see, she owned an EXPENSIVE CAR!
And EXPENSIVE CARS are special! In ways you can't understand!
If you don't own an EXPENSIVE CAR you clearly don't understand this specialness and will harm that very EXPENSIVE CAR if you so much as LOOK at it without putting on special car-viewing glasses first that negate the glowing green negative envy-rays that shoot from the eye sockets of the little people like me who can't deal with the fact they're looking at an EXPENSIVE CAR they can't possibly ever afford!
I guess she was really concerned that I still didn't understand the perils of towing an EXPENSIVE CAR because her parting shot after failing to find any damage and paying was this:
Her: And just WHAT kind of car do YOU drive?!
Me: Me? I have a Ford Taurus
Her: EXACTLY!!!
What she meant by that, I have no clue, but words cannot really do justice to the inflection of that statement, just how sure she was that she had just solved one of the great mysteries of the world and expected her last name to appear in textbooks from now on for that insight.
Of course, I cursed myself after she left, there were sooooo many ways I could've had a better comeback.
I could've told her about my Porsche and held up the key on my ring if she disbelieved... http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/...46559fce_o.jpg
Or told her that I own "several cars" and drive a different one "depending on the weather" also a 100% true statement as you all know.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/...946fab672c.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/...23f80e97b2.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3034/...f0f6786b_o.jpg
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...69037066_n.jpg
Alas, the truly good ideas never come up when you need them, do they?
Double Alas, she isn't the only person with this mindset that believes in a direct causal link between the cost of your car and your moral station in life.
Like that one property we tow from, where we're expressly forbidden by the property owner to tow out any BMW's, Mercedeses, Lexussussess Infinitis or Cadillacs because, even if they don't have permits, they might belong to "Someone important".
The lot owner furthermore doesn't seem to believe that such vehicles cannot be owned by a college kid spoiled by Daddy's high credit limit. I've seen these kids park in that lot, walk across the street for class, then over to the Starbucks for a latte' and then come back. I've seen them do it multiple times. I've seen the chem textbooks in the car. I've seen the cheap booze bottles, track team sweatshirts and fanny packs inside. They have permits in them for notorious student housing apartments. But, try as I might, I just can't make the lot owners believe that these are NOT the cars of highly important lawyers and successful businessmen whos nonexistent favor they're trying to curry. "Better leave it" they say, "they might have a reason to need to be there".
Flip side, the lot owner has, on more than one occasion, tried to call in one of their OWN tenants for having a car "too rusty" parked in the lot, even though it's registered, inspected and has one of THEIR OWN permits in it. They always seem surprised to learn that, as when you call them back explaining that 10 year old Honda is one of their employees, they always say: "Really? Who still drives one of THOSE?!" Amazing.
I have to remind myself, for very fictional Gordon Gekko, there's a real life Leona Helmsley who inspired their creation. Incidentally, the two most successful and wealthy business owners I ever worked for drove, a 15-year old GMC Sierra Pickup and a Chevy Suburban, respectively. Make of that what you will.
Listen to my Case!
-Yeah, you towed my Jeep from 120 Backalley Way, but I have a permit.
-According to the paperwork, it didn't have a permit in it when it was towed
-Well, not at the time, see, I loaned my permit to my buddy so he could park there for the weekend, he was going to give it back, I just didn't get it back yet
-I'm sorry, but if there's no permit in the vehicle, then it can be towed. The rules of the lot are that permits must be visible at all times
-You don't have to get all rude with me!
-I'm not, I'm just explaining the rules, without a permit in the car, you can't park there
-But I have one
-Was it in the car?
-No, it's right here! *shows permit*
-Well, it obviously wasn't in the car then, it will be $115 to release
-I have to pay to get my own car back from my own space?!
-Yes, you must have a permit to park there, and it must be in the car
-I was going to PUT it in there!
-There's nothing I can do about that, if it wasn't in the car, you can be towed, and you will have to pay to get the car back.
-This is F*cking unbelievable!
-Please don't swear at me, Sir, I haven't sworn at you.
-Whatever, I just can't believe you won't let me plead my case!
-You don't have a case to plead
*at this point, his cell rings and he starts talking to his buddy on the other end*
-Yeah? Buddy? It's me, yeah, they did tow my car, and I gotta pay them to get it back, can you believe this bulls*it? .... Yeah.... Yeah I told him I was going to put it back in the car but he won't let me plea my case, keeps giving me the runaround and I can't get a straight answer from him!
Cute, that's not the way I remember the conversation.
-Yeah, I know, you don't have to pay me, it's not your fault these guys won't listen to my case! Catch you later. *click* So I REALLY have to pay? You're just going to ignore my case?
-I can get you a manager if you'd like
-YES!
*Now, Towing Manager arrives on the scene*
-Look, I have a permit for where I just got towed from, I didn't have it in the car, but I was going to put it up, and this guy *points to me* won't listen to my case!
-So, you didn't have a permit in the car when it was towed?
-No!
-Then you have no case to plead, $115, cash, credit or debit.
Later, I drove by the lot again later on an unrelated call and found that they now did have a permit up in their car, along with a note suggesting I perform an act on myself that would be terribly unwholesome and, quite frankly, anatomically impossible.
Paying Attention is, Like, Uncool or Something
I hate dealing with "whatever" teenagers. I'm not too fond of regular teenagers, but the, like, whatever, y'know kind? That like, don't follow rules, because, like, I dunno? Nobody like told me, rules and like stuff, it's like.... I'm like too jaded and cynical to like, care, about like, jobs and stuff? And like, you didn't hold my hand and tell me not to do that, so how was I, like, to know? Yeah, THAT KIND, they'll make a serial killer out of me yet, just give it time. Thus, I was probably a bit more curt with this gentleman than usual, but gall-darnit' he pushed my buttons!
Anyway, this story features 3 players. Me (Me) , Whatever Teen (WT) and Whatever Teen's Friend (F) who come up to me and explain their predicament.
WT - Yeah, I uh, parked, like at this lot at 400 Main St. And, I, like got towed.
ME - Yes, that's a metered parking lot, looks like you got towed for parking at the meter and not paying it.
WT - Well, like, I didn't know that it was there, like, I didn't see it.
ME - Sorry, but you still have to pay, the lot is signed.
WT - But, I didn't see it.
ME -Oh well
WT - *stare*
ME - *stare*
WT - *stare*
ME - *stare*
WT - So, that's it? Huh? No, like, breaks?
ME -Nope, in the future, pay attention.
F - Dude! You got OWNED!
There are probably about 50 meters in that lot. You drove past the entrance sign informing you that it was a meter lot and you'd be towed if you didn't pay the meter, you parked at the far end in one of the LAST spots, so you had to have driven past about 40 or MORE meters, and yet you didn't see any of them? Or the sign? There's only so many times I warn you you're about to step off a cliff before I'm going to just step aside and let whatever nature wants to happen, happen.
Sorry, but in this case, you're friend was right. Oh so very right. You should listen to your friend. Friendship is magic, or so I've heard.
A "lady" comes in ready to BLEVE* all over the place.
*(Google it, learnin' is fun!)
Seems we have her car for illegal parking, and she's adamant that her car was simply TOO expensive to have not lost value somehow by us towing it, probably because we damaged it either physically or metaphorically.
I tried to explain to her that we aren't in the habit of breaking other peoples cars, as that's bad for business, and that the technology we use to tow cars, when used properly, does not damage them.
She wasn't convinced, see, she owned an EXPENSIVE CAR!
And EXPENSIVE CARS are special! In ways you can't understand!
If you don't own an EXPENSIVE CAR you clearly don't understand this specialness and will harm that very EXPENSIVE CAR if you so much as LOOK at it without putting on special car-viewing glasses first that negate the glowing green negative envy-rays that shoot from the eye sockets of the little people like me who can't deal with the fact they're looking at an EXPENSIVE CAR they can't possibly ever afford!
I guess she was really concerned that I still didn't understand the perils of towing an EXPENSIVE CAR because her parting shot after failing to find any damage and paying was this:
Her: And just WHAT kind of car do YOU drive?!
Me: Me? I have a Ford Taurus
Her: EXACTLY!!!
What she meant by that, I have no clue, but words cannot really do justice to the inflection of that statement, just how sure she was that she had just solved one of the great mysteries of the world and expected her last name to appear in textbooks from now on for that insight.
Of course, I cursed myself after she left, there were sooooo many ways I could've had a better comeback.
I could've told her about my Porsche and held up the key on my ring if she disbelieved... http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/...46559fce_o.jpg
Or told her that I own "several cars" and drive a different one "depending on the weather" also a 100% true statement as you all know.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/...946fab672c.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/...23f80e97b2.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3034/...f0f6786b_o.jpg
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...69037066_n.jpg
Alas, the truly good ideas never come up when you need them, do they?
Double Alas, she isn't the only person with this mindset that believes in a direct causal link between the cost of your car and your moral station in life.
Like that one property we tow from, where we're expressly forbidden by the property owner to tow out any BMW's, Mercedeses, Lexussussess Infinitis or Cadillacs because, even if they don't have permits, they might belong to "Someone important".
The lot owner furthermore doesn't seem to believe that such vehicles cannot be owned by a college kid spoiled by Daddy's high credit limit. I've seen these kids park in that lot, walk across the street for class, then over to the Starbucks for a latte' and then come back. I've seen them do it multiple times. I've seen the chem textbooks in the car. I've seen the cheap booze bottles, track team sweatshirts and fanny packs inside. They have permits in them for notorious student housing apartments. But, try as I might, I just can't make the lot owners believe that these are NOT the cars of highly important lawyers and successful businessmen whos nonexistent favor they're trying to curry. "Better leave it" they say, "they might have a reason to need to be there".
Flip side, the lot owner has, on more than one occasion, tried to call in one of their OWN tenants for having a car "too rusty" parked in the lot, even though it's registered, inspected and has one of THEIR OWN permits in it. They always seem surprised to learn that, as when you call them back explaining that 10 year old Honda is one of their employees, they always say: "Really? Who still drives one of THOSE?!" Amazing.
I have to remind myself, for very fictional Gordon Gekko, there's a real life Leona Helmsley who inspired their creation. Incidentally, the two most successful and wealthy business owners I ever worked for drove, a 15-year old GMC Sierra Pickup and a Chevy Suburban, respectively. Make of that what you will.
Listen to my Case!
-Yeah, you towed my Jeep from 120 Backalley Way, but I have a permit.
-According to the paperwork, it didn't have a permit in it when it was towed
-Well, not at the time, see, I loaned my permit to my buddy so he could park there for the weekend, he was going to give it back, I just didn't get it back yet
-I'm sorry, but if there's no permit in the vehicle, then it can be towed. The rules of the lot are that permits must be visible at all times
-You don't have to get all rude with me!
-I'm not, I'm just explaining the rules, without a permit in the car, you can't park there
-But I have one
-Was it in the car?
-No, it's right here! *shows permit*
-Well, it obviously wasn't in the car then, it will be $115 to release
-I have to pay to get my own car back from my own space?!
-Yes, you must have a permit to park there, and it must be in the car
-I was going to PUT it in there!
-There's nothing I can do about that, if it wasn't in the car, you can be towed, and you will have to pay to get the car back.
-This is F*cking unbelievable!
-Please don't swear at me, Sir, I haven't sworn at you.
-Whatever, I just can't believe you won't let me plead my case!
-You don't have a case to plead
*at this point, his cell rings and he starts talking to his buddy on the other end*
-Yeah? Buddy? It's me, yeah, they did tow my car, and I gotta pay them to get it back, can you believe this bulls*it? .... Yeah.... Yeah I told him I was going to put it back in the car but he won't let me plea my case, keeps giving me the runaround and I can't get a straight answer from him!
Cute, that's not the way I remember the conversation.-Yeah, I know, you don't have to pay me, it's not your fault these guys won't listen to my case! Catch you later. *click* So I REALLY have to pay? You're just going to ignore my case?
-I can get you a manager if you'd like
-YES!
*Now, Towing Manager arrives on the scene*
-Look, I have a permit for where I just got towed from, I didn't have it in the car, but I was going to put it up, and this guy *points to me* won't listen to my case!
-So, you didn't have a permit in the car when it was towed?
-No!
-Then you have no case to plead, $115, cash, credit or debit.
Later, I drove by the lot again later on an unrelated call and found that they now did have a permit up in their car, along with a note suggesting I perform an act on myself that would be terribly unwholesome and, quite frankly, anatomically impossible.
Paying Attention is, Like, Uncool or Something
I hate dealing with "whatever" teenagers. I'm not too fond of regular teenagers, but the, like, whatever, y'know kind? That like, don't follow rules, because, like, I dunno? Nobody like told me, rules and like stuff, it's like.... I'm like too jaded and cynical to like, care, about like, jobs and stuff? And like, you didn't hold my hand and tell me not to do that, so how was I, like, to know? Yeah, THAT KIND, they'll make a serial killer out of me yet, just give it time. Thus, I was probably a bit more curt with this gentleman than usual, but gall-darnit' he pushed my buttons!
Anyway, this story features 3 players. Me (Me) , Whatever Teen (WT) and Whatever Teen's Friend (F) who come up to me and explain their predicament.
WT - Yeah, I uh, parked, like at this lot at 400 Main St. And, I, like got towed.
ME - Yes, that's a metered parking lot, looks like you got towed for parking at the meter and not paying it.
WT - Well, like, I didn't know that it was there, like, I didn't see it.
ME - Sorry, but you still have to pay, the lot is signed.
WT - But, I didn't see it.
ME -Oh well
WT - *stare*
ME - *stare*
WT - *stare*
ME - *stare*
WT - So, that's it? Huh? No, like, breaks?
ME -Nope, in the future, pay attention.
F - Dude! You got OWNED!
There are probably about 50 meters in that lot. You drove past the entrance sign informing you that it was a meter lot and you'd be towed if you didn't pay the meter, you parked at the far end in one of the LAST spots, so you had to have driven past about 40 or MORE meters, and yet you didn't see any of them? Or the sign? There's only so many times I warn you you're about to step off a cliff before I'm going to just step aside and let whatever nature wants to happen, happen.
Sorry, but in this case, you're friend was right. Oh so very right. You should listen to your friend. Friendship is magic, or so I've heard.
Comment