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What do you MEAN I can't spend money that I don't have ?!
Old 05-24-2013, 03:23 AM
tilly101 tilly101 is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 139
Default What do you MEAN I can't spend money that I don't have ?!

I thought I would revisit the past and recount a tale from my banking days.

BG - I worked in a call centre position, both during and after hours, on a rotating shift. I moved around a fair bit within the company, however at this time I was taking inbound calls on the general line. What that meant was that people would call in, and I'd answer any questions they had regarding the bank itself [eg. product knowledge], right up to answering general questions about their accounts.
For example: 'What's my current balance?' - I could answer this
'I want to apply for a credit card over the phone' - I could NOT answer this.

Me -
SC - the douche that called in one night around 8pm

Me - 'Welcome to *bank*, how may I help you this evening?'

SC - 'Yeah look I've got a big problem, I'm at a restaurant and we've just finished dinner, and my cards declining, I don't know what you people have done with it but you need to fix it right now 'cause I'm here at the front waiting to pay. Do you understand how inconvenient and embarrassing this is for me right now?'

Me - 'I do apologize sir, I'll just bring up your account and have a quick look for you'

*I confirm all his security dtls, and that it's his debit card that he is calling about [so his own cash, not credit], I pull up his account and have a look*

Me - 'Thanks for holding sir. I've got your account details up here in front of e now. I'm sorry but you don't actually have any available funds at present, your account is sitting at a zero balance. It's actually been at a zero balance since this past weekend'

SC - 'Yeah, I know that, what's that got to do with anything?'

Me - '...um. Well. I mean...to be able to use your debit card sir, you do have to available funds in your account'

SC - 'I really don't see what that has to do anything. Can you hurry up and fix my card, I need to pay for my dinner! I'm standing her waiting!'

Me - 'I'm sorry sir, as I've mentioned, you won't be able to use your card or your account at all unless you have available funds in there, which you do not. You will need to find another form of payment for your dinner, or perhaps speak to the restaurant about your predicament'

SC - 'Excuse me young lady...do you know who I am?!'

Me - 'Yes sir, I confirmed your details when you first called in. I'm speaking with *read to him his name and suburb....and no, he was not anyone 'special', not a celebrity, nothing. He was a regular Joe Blow*

SC - 'Listen here young lady! You're quite clearly just a trainee, I'd like to speak with your manager now, thank you!'

Me - 'I'm sorry sir, we aren't able to transfer calls to managers in the event that an escalation is not necessary'

SC - 'An escalation IS necessary young lady! You don't know what you're doing!'

Me - 'Sir, you need to have funds in your everyday account to be able to spend that money. This is not a credit facility. Any manager or individual will provide you with the same information'

SC - 'And what about providing good customer service, eh? I've been with your company for bloody decades, I'm a loyal customer, and the one time I ask for a bit of leeway, you knock me back! I've got a right mind to close my account right now and just take my business elsewhere you know!'

*I've already been glancing over this guys account while he's been talking. He's been a customer with us for just over a YEAR, and during that time he's called in numerous times to ask that we waive the late fees he been getting most months on the attached credit card facility. All the notes state the same - he says he doesn't have to pay on time. Dont we know who he is. Blah blahb blah. Cue the same performance almost every month. The fee was waived the first time but never since*

Me - 'I'm sorry sir, you've called *our bank*. You've only been a customers of ours for over a year, I suspect you might be confused with another banking institution? In any case, we would still be sorry to see you leave, however if that's what you'd like I can certainly transfer you to our cancellations tea and they'd be happy to assist you with your request'

SC - 'What? No! Just get my card to work!'

Me - 'I'm sorry sir, as I've advised numerous times now, you won't be able to use your debit card this evening as you don't have any funds available'

SC - 'You know, none of this makes any sense! I don't understand why you just wont turn my card back on! You dont care about your loyal customers at all! *yelling to people in the background on his end* Yeah, they've turned off my card for no reason! Yeah, I know, bloody banks! Always out to hassle the hard workers, all they care about is making money! I know, its a joke right!'

Me - 'Sir? Hello? Was there anything else I can help you with today?'

SC - 'Yeah, you can go fuck yourself is how you can help me!'

And with that, he hung up and slunk off into the night.

What a fucknut, seriously.

Old 05-24-2013, 03:32 AM
Argabarga's Avatar
Argabarga Argabarga is offline
Car Snatcher
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: State College, PA
Posts: 2,851

I just had the most delicious mental image of him panicking at the prospect of his date having to put their meals on her card.... and naturally, that means Mr. Do-You-Know-Who-I-AM????'s prospects of not going home alone are about as high as his account balance.

Yes, I'm an evil evil person who enjoys the misfortune of others, only because it's so darn EASY when so many volunteer.
- They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

Old 05-24-2013, 06:00 AM
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kpzra kpzra is offline
Where's my handbasket?
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Nevada
Posts: 496

The only time I've said the phrase "I've been a customer for about a decade" was when I called my bank and they said my member ID was missing a number and the (sup told me new) girl was getting pissy with me. We've been with them for so long they have to add a zero in front on the number now.

Old 05-24-2013, 11:40 AM
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mhkohne mhkohne is offline
Squishyware engineer
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 878

I weep for the future sometimes - did he really think that was even possible? What a loser.
Life: Reality TV for deities. - dalesys

Old 05-24-2013, 12:21 PM
Mongo Skruddgemire's Avatar
Mongo Skruddgemire Mongo Skruddgemire is offline
Master of the Hypnotoad
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,342

I'm pretty sure that this guy was trying to impress his date and get her to pay for dinner.
I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

Old 05-24-2013, 03:55 PM
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taxguykarl taxguykarl is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicagoland (South suburbs)
Posts: 3,542

His date's impressed now, just not in the way he wanted...he can still wow her with his dish-cleaning skills.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

Who is John Galt?
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Old 05-24-2013, 04:28 PM
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Raveni Raveni is offline
Store Manager
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Orlando
Posts: 864

Right, you were not the audience for his questions. He was trying to paint a picture for those who could only hear one side if the conversation:

Evil bank, didn't know who he was, incompetent trainee on phone, couldn't fix the problem, wouldn't transfer to supervisor. Obviously not his fault he can't pay!

Old 05-24-2013, 11:15 PM
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Bright_Star Bright_Star is offline
Diner Darlin'
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,376

I wonder how he liked washing dishes to pay for his meal?...LOL!

Old 05-25-2013, 01:33 AM
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MoonCat MoonCat is offline
I'm not bitter. I'm informed.
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Eastern US.
Posts: 7,578

Wow, that is some world-class ego right there. "He didn't have to pay on time"? You have to wonder how somebody ends up thinking they're sooooo special.
Not sure who I am anymore, where I am, or where I'm going. I only know where I've been, and you don't get far if you spend all your time looking backwards.

Old 05-25-2013, 01:48 AM
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mikoyan29 mikoyan29 is offline
Area Manager
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Posts: 1,573

Wow. That is a special kind of special.
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