Been having a rough past few days, and I think it finally caught up with me earlier this evening.
Since the pandemic started I've been working remotely, which I LOVE.
I'm fully vaccinated and boosted (and I'll leave discussions of that to fratching), but I also have an underlying condition. I'm a little overweight and I had a heart valve replacement about six years ago.
We do curbside pickup for groceries, and any other type of restaurant food we get is drive thru or curbside. We seem to be an overly-cautious family. I understand the concern.
Earlier this evening, I think things finally got to me a little. I've been ready to get back out and go do things again. I've "missed" two seasons of attending the high school football games I've wanted to (I was able to listen on the radio, however, as they broadcast locally), and there are a couple of events coming up that I won't be able to go to, either. And I'd really like to. One is outdoor, and one is kinda-sorta outdoor, because it's in a dome stadium. We didn't really do much to begin with, but I think it's caught up to me because it's been this way for nearly two years.
I just feel trapped, and a little helpless in this situation. Especially since I have an underlying condition, and COVID can cause some weird things to happen to someone. It's nobody's problem but my own. It's also doing a number on my insecurities and self-confidence.
Anyway, shortly after I ate dinner, I went into our bedroom, laid down, and kinda-sorta cried for a few minutes. I haven't "sad cried" since my father died at the end of 2018.
I even started writing this:
-----------------------------------------------
Trapped, helpless
imprisoned by the unseen
fear in the air
but we all must breathe
Scourge, bane
your prisoners are we
leave, leave us
depart hastily
Wretched evil
bringer of sorrow
a grip on the people
when will you let go?
Reign, rule
our lives in your control
protections we have
will they make us whole?
------------------------------------------------
Again, nobody's problem but my own. I'll probably get past it at some point.
Since the pandemic started I've been working remotely, which I LOVE.
I'm fully vaccinated and boosted (and I'll leave discussions of that to fratching), but I also have an underlying condition. I'm a little overweight and I had a heart valve replacement about six years ago.
We do curbside pickup for groceries, and any other type of restaurant food we get is drive thru or curbside. We seem to be an overly-cautious family. I understand the concern.
Earlier this evening, I think things finally got to me a little. I've been ready to get back out and go do things again. I've "missed" two seasons of attending the high school football games I've wanted to (I was able to listen on the radio, however, as they broadcast locally), and there are a couple of events coming up that I won't be able to go to, either. And I'd really like to. One is outdoor, and one is kinda-sorta outdoor, because it's in a dome stadium. We didn't really do much to begin with, but I think it's caught up to me because it's been this way for nearly two years.
I just feel trapped, and a little helpless in this situation. Especially since I have an underlying condition, and COVID can cause some weird things to happen to someone. It's nobody's problem but my own. It's also doing a number on my insecurities and self-confidence.
Anyway, shortly after I ate dinner, I went into our bedroom, laid down, and kinda-sorta cried for a few minutes. I haven't "sad cried" since my father died at the end of 2018.
I even started writing this:
-----------------------------------------------
Trapped, helpless
imprisoned by the unseen
fear in the air
but we all must breathe
Scourge, bane
your prisoners are we
leave, leave us
depart hastily
Wretched evil
bringer of sorrow
a grip on the people
when will you let go?
Reign, rule
our lives in your control
protections we have
will they make us whole?
------------------------------------------------
Again, nobody's problem but my own. I'll probably get past it at some point.
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