REAL job ads...

[HotelMinion]

I often see my old job being advertised online on job boards, and I have to smirk at them. They say something like: "Needed: a hotel worker. Needs to be friendly, polite, good with customers, and multitasking. Job Requirements: Make reservations. Make keys. Resolves complaints in efficient manner. Practice safety. Deliver messages."

Its seems so harmless! So logical! So expected! However the REAL ad would be:

"Needed: a doormat to be stepped on by strangers. Needs to be soft and squishy for comfort. Expect kindness to be seen a weakness. Needs to have a handyman degree for fixing TVs, fixing A/Cs ,fixing air vents, fixing drippy faucets. Job Requirements: Make reservations, with a hearing of a bat to hear above screams, traffic, and jets taking off in the BG. Making keys 200000000000000000000000000000 times because them being putting against cellphones too many times. Resolves complaints by being blamed and saying sorry....cuz it's 'your' fault..."

You get the picture. I just wish there was some way to review these ads. Indeed has them but C List doesn't. :\ Anyway...does anyone else stumble on their old job ads and think "Yeah right?" and "I can't believe I was there for X years!"

[ladyjaneinmd]

The only thing that comes to my mind is an ad that I saw in the newspaper a long, long time ago(pre-Internet).

"Are you tired of looking for a job that has no future? Your search has ended!"

Yup, real ad. Came with phone number and everything.

[Pixelated]

That's what happens when people don't stop to realize there might be another way of reading what they wrote ... and it definitely ain't the way they wanted it read.

Reminds me of a glitch I saw once in another small weekly: one of those generic "space-filler" ads reading something like "Dig up some treasure!" (for their classified section, IIRC) ... and it was placed directly under the obits.

[mhkohne]

The only thing that comes to my mind is an ad that I saw in the newspaper a long, long time ago(pre-Internet).

"Are you tired of looking for a job that has no future? Your search has ended!"

Yup, real ad. Came with phone number and everything.

I'm informed that the management-speak phrase 'Flexible Work Ethic' has started appearing in job ads. Gotta love it when some MIM decides to try and one-up the others.

[Rosco the Iroc]

I like the job ads I saw on Indeed that were simply a picture of a Help Wanted sign on their door with a PH #.
nothing else..2 didn't even have the name of the place in view.

[Pixelated]

There's a place (?) near me that has a HUGE sign on their fence reading "NOW HIRING." But ... it doesn't say WHAT they are hiring. And the question mark after "place" is because I'm not entirely sure what they do.

[CyberLurch]

There's a place (?) near me that has a HUGE sign on their fence reading "NOW HIRING." But ... it doesn't say WHAT they are hiring. And the question mark after "place" is because I'm not entirely sure what they do.

Around here, signs like that are frequently hooked into those telephone solicitor gigs or similar fly-by-night operations. Which have a fascinating tendency to vanish after operating only a month or two, with little, if any, notice.

[taxguykarl]

The only thing that comes to my mind is an ad that I saw in the newspaper a long, long time ago(pre-Internet).

"Are you tired of looking for a job that has no future? Your search has ended!"

Yup, real ad. Came with phone number and everything.

I saw one like that--it turned out to be a sales job.

[protege]

Which have a fascinating tendency to vanish after operating only a month or two, with little, if any, notice.

Around here, it's usually because the borough/township/city/county decides that such signs (usually cheap cardboard mounted on wire) constitute "litter" and will remove them from the roadside. Can't say I blame them for that