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not quite shoplifting

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  • not quite shoplifting

    The manager from the store next door came in today. Yesterday, one of his customers lost a bag. Manager had poked his head in at the time, maybe Bob left it in our store? Nope. Neighbor manager went through his videotape. A couple had come into his store, while one distracted the staff, the other deliberately picked up Bob's branded shopping bag from our store, and his umbrella, along with their own bag and walked out.

    What makes this odd is that this ours is a nice store, for what it is, but it's not a store that anyone would have heard of, unless you've been in our fair city. So, the thief wouldn't have known what kind of stuff was in the bag unless he'd been in our store and looked around.

    Neighbor Manager wanted to replace whatever it was that Bob had purchased. But Bob had liked his new jacket so much, he'd taken off his old one and put it in his shopping bag, so he could wear his new one. The not-quite-shoplifter stole a used jacket. And yeah, I wonder if they did actually steal anything from us.

  • #2
    That reminds me of the stories about people who wrap up their trash nicely and leave it in an unlocked car.
    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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    • #3
      IA - People have been known to do that with porch pirates. Sometimes they include less...savory substances.
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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      • #4
        *insert Mark Rober's glitterbombs here*
        This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
        I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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        • #5
          I'm happy to donate used kitty litter for porch pirate bait packages.

          Hmmm, combine that with glitter bombs....
          "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

          "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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          • #6
            That reminds me of a story about a woman who had her purse snatched while she was walking her dog. She was using the purse to pick up after her dog.
            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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            • #7
              Recently on NextDoor, one poster reported having a bag stolen off her porch.

              The bag contained about two days of cat poo.

              All other posters thought that was hilarious.
              "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

              "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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              • #8
                This is why I'm glad to have my neighbors across the street, they're a retired couple that's home late on the days I work the closing shift at Grocery Store. I just mention that I'm receiving a package, it'll probably be here late on "date to date", I'll text one of them if I get it early. All they ask in return is that I water their outside flowers when they go on trips.
                Eh, one day I'll have something useful here. Until then, have a cookie or two.

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                • #9
                  I used that in my defence... 'The reason I was lurking about in the bushes was because I was 'watering the outside flowers ''
                  Last edited by Kit-Ginevra; 10-06-2021, 11:26 PM.
                  The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Seanette View Post
                    I'm happy to donate used kitty litter for porch pirate bait packages.

                    Hmmm, combine that with glitter bombs....
                    Especially used litter that's ... well aged.

                    Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                    I used that in my defence... 'The reason I was lurking about in the bushes was because I was 'watering the outside flowers ''
                    So ... we don't need to send you a file in a cake ... ?
                    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                    ~ Mr Hero

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