"When is it going to stop raining?"
It's monsoon season; give it a good three months.
OR
(and I HAVE heard my coworker, who's a witch, use this one out loud)
Let me gaze into my crystal ball...
"Can we pet the [wildlife]?"
If you are dumb enough to ask that question, please do. The human race doesn't need your kind to breed.
"It's our nth wedding anniversary, so can you donate a suite to us instead of the [moderately priced] cabin we paid for?"
Are you fucking serious? No. Get out of my lobby. We may say "congratulations" to you on your special day, but that doesn't mean it's OUR special day and you're our buddy or something.
"Can you give me driving directions to [town five states over]?"
No, but here's an atlas and a piece of paper, now bugger off, I'm busy.
"What's your address? I need it for GPS."
It won't work in a GPS unit...
"What's your address anyways?"
[I give them a dubious street address]
"It's not working when I put it in my GPS."
Well HOW ABOUT THAT. Fucker. If you won't let me give you (very simple) driving directions I won't really feel sorry for you when you end up in EBF. (The one exception to this was the guy who wanted to get here from the opposite side of the next state over; I had to pull out my atlas for him.)
"Why can't we see the [things the national park is named after]?"
Because it's dark and there's not a full moon? You really think they're going to light up something bigger than the national debt so you can see it at night?
OR
Because it's foggy...? I would think even a dumbass such as yourself would understand the concept of fog. And no, I don't know when it's going to clear off. If I had a crystal ball that told me the answer to any question asked, do you think I'd be HERE?
And this last one has nothing to do with stupid questions per se, but I found it very revealing.
"So when you were sick [with altitude sickness], did you have trouble thinking?"
(very surprised) Um...yes. Yes I did. (in my own mind) That explains SO MUCH about the questions I get asked on a daily basis...
I apologize if any of these are repeats from my last thread of similar nature. So. What's the dumbest tourist or other customer question you've ever been asked? And what did you wish you could say?
It's monsoon season; give it a good three months.
OR
(and I HAVE heard my coworker, who's a witch, use this one out loud)
Let me gaze into my crystal ball...
"Can we pet the [wildlife]?"
If you are dumb enough to ask that question, please do. The human race doesn't need your kind to breed.
"It's our nth wedding anniversary, so can you donate a suite to us instead of the [moderately priced] cabin we paid for?"
Are you fucking serious? No. Get out of my lobby. We may say "congratulations" to you on your special day, but that doesn't mean it's OUR special day and you're our buddy or something.
"Can you give me driving directions to [town five states over]?"
No, but here's an atlas and a piece of paper, now bugger off, I'm busy.
"What's your address? I need it for GPS."
It won't work in a GPS unit...
"What's your address anyways?"
[I give them a dubious street address]
"It's not working when I put it in my GPS."
Well HOW ABOUT THAT. Fucker. If you won't let me give you (very simple) driving directions I won't really feel sorry for you when you end up in EBF. (The one exception to this was the guy who wanted to get here from the opposite side of the next state over; I had to pull out my atlas for him.)
"Why can't we see the [things the national park is named after]?"
Because it's dark and there's not a full moon? You really think they're going to light up something bigger than the national debt so you can see it at night?
OR
Because it's foggy...? I would think even a dumbass such as yourself would understand the concept of fog. And no, I don't know when it's going to clear off. If I had a crystal ball that told me the answer to any question asked, do you think I'd be HERE?
And this last one has nothing to do with stupid questions per se, but I found it very revealing.
"So when you were sick [with altitude sickness], did you have trouble thinking?"
(very surprised) Um...yes. Yes I did. (in my own mind) That explains SO MUCH about the questions I get asked on a daily basis...
I apologize if any of these are repeats from my last thread of similar nature. So. What's the dumbest tourist or other customer question you've ever been asked? And what did you wish you could say?
Comment