I think I've reached the bottom of the barrel

[Shironu-Akaineko]

So there's this bridge troll I'm "friends" with. She thinks we're friends. I've denied this TO HER, IN HER FACE, REPEATEDLY. We were forced together in elementary school because we were both loners. I was bullied, she was raised by wolves. She even dry-humped me once.

She's not real good with the subtle clues. Nor the obvious ones. Nor the telling her directly thing. The next step is slamming her head on my counter and she'll probably tell me I'm sending mixed messages as the "thuds" turn to "squishes".

Anyway.

She will show up at my job at least once a week, lurch her half-melted TMNT figure frame over my counter and start talking about her life, loudly, in details, in a screechy voice you wouldn't tolerate on a Muppet. The leaky details. In color and texture.

"But Shironu, why don't you tell her you're not interested?"

I did. I still do.

"But Shironu, why don't you tell her you're at work and can't talk?"

I did. I still do. I don't engage or encourage her in any ways, but "Go away" translates to "Please repeat that story louder and with more gory details, I don't think they heard you in SCOTLAND!!"

So yesterday took the cake. She found me on Facebook. And sent me a friend request. Which I proceeded to delete, block, and incinerate my computer.

Slightly exagerating.

Can't leave well enough alone, she shows up at my work that same afternoon!

Bridge Troll: BT

Very tired of this shit : Me

BT: I almost didn't recognize you with your dyed hair!

Me: Sadly, you did recognize me.

BT: I found you on Facebook! Sent you a Friend Request! I assume you just didn't see it yet...

Me: I did. Deleted it. Blocked you.

BT: What? Why?

Me: I don't want you, or your Drama, on my page!!

BT: ....What? Who's...who's Drianna?

OH COME ON.

Me: DRAMA. Your shit, your friend's shit, that Nigerian scammer or the 18 year old that you keep talking to me about. I don't wanna hear it in real life and I surely don't want it all over my page!

BT then proceeds to walk away as I answer the phone for an actual customer.

I put the phone down...

BT: So if I understand well...

Me: Shush, still serving the customer.

I finish with the customer....

BT: So.... if I understand well.... you don't want me on your Facebook.... because I confide myself to you.

I dunno if she expected pity, it only made me check my phone to make sure I had blocked her completely.

Me: Unless you need to order a game or a movie, I'm busy.

And she finally walked away... for now.

She scares customers with her stories and her attitude, her hygiene is questionable at best and her grip on reality is like trying to hold onto a slime eel in a vat of glycerine.

I'm thinking of asking Mall Manager if there's anything I can do if TB decides out of the blue to escalate her delusions...

[Cecily]

I take it a water bottle with a trigger spray is out of the question? If she annoys customers and doesn't buy anything herself, can she be banned from the store?

[Shironu-Akaineko]

She might melt.

That's another thing, when she sees she's not getting anywhere she'll have me look up super obscure movies and order one once in a blue moon... then we can't call her cuz she always changes her phone number cuz she's too stupid to understand her phone contract and keep switching providers.

She once gave 8 hours of shit to a phone-dept co-worker.
8 hours. She would leave for a couple of minutes, come back, and abuse that co-worker some more. I was there for some of it, in the electronics dept. I thought it was only an hour, the co-worker told me later on it was the entire day.

At the 7:59 hour mark, that's when Bridge Troll announced that she didn't understand why Failus was refusing her service over her cards, since she had reported them stolen the day before.

Total screaming meltdown from that poor, poor co-worker who quit soon after.

And she's still not banned after this Looney Tunes show!

[Ironclad Alibi]

She might melt.

And that's just one more mess by an SC to be cleaned up.