Condom thief foiled!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I heard this little doozy from someone at the supermarket today. Apparently, one of the trolley boys brought in a massive pile of condom boxes which had been dumped in a corner of the car park. Now, the condom boxes are kept in these sturdy see thru plastic containers, which can only be removed with a special tool at the checkout. Some of the boxes had scratches on them, showing that the shoplifter had tried to open the boxes, failed and then dumped them.

What gets me is why the shoplifter wanted to steal over twenty boxes of condoms in the first place... O_o Do I really want to know?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Maybe he's a pimp who's planning to write off the condoms as a business deduction on his taxes?

Either way, at least his bubble got burst.

[Sheldonrs]

Just go to a gay bar. Most of them have buckets
Of the for free.

[Victory Sabre]

My guess is the person who tried to steal them is a person who is least likely no need them for their intended purpose.

[wolfie]

I realize that a lot of stores have a "don't do anything to try to stop the thief" policy. Are any of you tempted, if you catch a condom thief in action but can't do anything because of such a policy, to hand them a package of finger cots and say "I believe this is what you were looking for"?

[drjonah]

My old manager used to have a funny reason why we shouldn't try and thwart a condom thief.

"Let them steal the condoms, if you stop them, their girlfriend will come back a couple weeks later and steal a pregnancy test and those are more expensive!"

[crazylegs]

Drugs are carried in condoms then 'plugged' as a means of carrying them so they're not found in a normal search...

[sirwired]

"Condom Thief Foiled"...

I see what you did there.

(And now I'm singing Weird Al's "Foil" to myself, trying to come up with another verse that is now condom-related.)

[taxguykarl]

"Let them steal the condoms, if you stop them, their girlfriend will come back a couple weeks later and steal a pregnancy test and those are more expensive!"

Good one.

[SixFortyK]

Lately, I've been finding boxes of vibrating condoms torn open, with the vibrating rings being stolen but the condoms left behind.

[Seanette]

Excuse me? Vibrating condoms? I didn't think I was that sheltered or naive, not at my age and hanging out online a lot, but I honestly had never heard of this.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Excuse me? Vibrating condoms? I didn't think I was that sheltered or naive, not at my age and hanging out online a lot, but I honestly had never heard of this.

Oh yeah, there are condoms that vibrate when you wear them. There are also cock rings for sale that vibrate, too.

I can see somebody putting that down on their weekly grocery list . . . and yes, you can find those at the Litter Box. We just have to keep them in the anti theft boxes, otherwise we'd lose our asses on them.

[Lace Neil Singer]

My old manager used to have a funny reason why we shouldn't try and thwart a condom thief.

"Let them steal the condoms, if you stop them, their girlfriend will come back a couple weeks later and steal a pregnancy test and those are more expensive!"

Funny addition; this happened ages and ages ago, back when I was working at the supermarket...

One day, the Ladies loos were closed. The reason being that a cardboard box that had previously contained a pregnancy test stolen from the Health and Beauty aisle was stuffed down the toilet, blocking it. The test itself was sitting on top of the sink and yes, it was positive...

[catcul]

In other words, a thief came into your store and grabbed boxes of condoms. He found getting into the boxes was a stiff challenge. Deciding it was too hard, he dumped his load and came out unsatisfied. He blew it that time.

Excuse me? Vibrating condoms? I didn't think I was that sheltered or naive, not at my age and hanging out online a lot, but I honestly had never heard of this.

Want me to show you later tonight?

[Jay 2K Winger]

In other words, a thief came into your store and grabbed boxes of condoms. He found getting into the boxes was a stiff challenge. Deciding it was too hard, he dumped his load and came out unsatisfied. He blew it that time.

It happens to lots of guys.