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  • Dodged that bullet

    I just got in tonight from my weekend, and I found out that I apparently walked out the door on Sunday in the nick of time! My co-worker told me the story of what happened just after I left.

    To begin with, I was there for the start of it. There was a couple (guy and girl) at the hotel on Saturday night, and they were mildly annoying to me. Kinda loud, but not too needy, so I only saw them when they took smoke breaks. Since they never went to bed, that meant that they were having some kind of party, but I never heard noise on the floors, and never got any complaints, so score. When our breakfast started in the morning, Guy and Girl came down, and Girl was being...well, loud. Nothing complaint-like, but things like this:

    Girl: "Aw damn, they got breakfast and shit! Look at this fucking shit! Aw hell yeah! Mother fuckin' yeah!!"

    You know, classy talk. Anyway, as she's doing this, she walks by the GM...who has a chat with her about acceptable language in the dining room, and leaves her to her devices. Guy and Girl load up plates at the buffet, then take them back to their room...I'm about an hour from going home, so I have approximately no fucks left to give, and just want to clock to tick away. GM and I joke a bit about Girl being an idiot, and we forget she exists. For about 20 minutes.

    Girl then shows back up at the front desk, and chats with us for a bit...I answered on autopilot and was ignoring her, but my coworker (N) is being nicer than me. Randomly, Girl asks N if she can help her tie up her bathing suit, since it's "bothering her" (it was the tie around the neck for the top of the suit). N hides a look of disgust after a nanosecond, then goes around to help the girl. She is obviously still fucked up from the night before, but we tell her that the pool is still closed for another 90 minutes or so while the engineers get it ready for the day. Girl goes up to her room, and I go to finish off some final paperwork...as I finish, GM lets me out of work a bit early (15 minutes more weekend time, woo!), so I gather my stuff and head out. As I do, I see Girl in the pool area...but the engineer is in there too, so I figure he let her in since the pool was ready, but he was draining the hot tub. I shrug, and go home.

    The plot thickens. Into an STD-ridden garbage soup.

    So, apparently, I was incorrect. The engineer had no idea she was there, as he was inside dealing with the hot tub; she had seen him in there, tried her key, and when it didn't work she walked around the outside and hopped the fence to get into the pool area. Engineer (E) came out of the pump room and found her in the nearly empty hot tub splashing around in the 6" of water that was left in there, and things...escalated. She started asking E if he was married, to which he replied yes, then she kept asking him "Want to hop in the water with me? Come on, want to fuck around?" Now E, who is about as suave as Don Knotts in a biker bar, gets extremely flustered and hops on the house phone to call GM over for help.

    GM shows up, and Girl decides to cheer her presence on by screaming "Aw daaamn it's GM, my main bitch! How you doin!?" Which, by the way, was not the correct way to respond to that. GM was displeased, but she remained polite and escorted Girl from the pool (sopping wet). Then she got crafty, and started chatting with Girl, asking something along the lines of if she was still messed up from last night. Girl, unfortunately for her, responds with exactly the wrong thing: "Yeah, but I took some acid, so I'm ok now."



    So GM walks her back to her room, comes back down, and calls the cops. Her patience has reached its limit, and Guy and Girl are now leaving. They finally see Guy again (he's been cool this whole time), because he lost his key and needed a new one...but he's not registered to the room, so he just went back up to get one from Girl. He gets back into the room, but Girl comes down to the front desk, and N said something looked wrong right away. She was still cheerful (she exclaimed "I need a new key, because this bitch wouldn't give us one!", but in a happy way? Drugs for ya), but she had a coat wrapped around her waist...and her shorts were no longer visible. That's never a good sign.

    Then the cops showed up. And things got weird.

    Remember how I said she was hitting on E in the pool? Apparently it was multiplied by 100 with the cop; she kept trying to rub her hands on him and grind him, getting rebuffed every time, and even before things escalated she kept asking him to put his cuffs on her "hard" and "fuck around" with her. Finally, the cop lost all patience and went to cuff her, and she started moaning "OH YEAH! CUFF ME HARDER! YEAH BABY!" totally trying to grind against his crotch with her ass. He finally gets both hands cuffed...and the jacket falls from her waist. To reveal that she has nothing on below the waist.

    May I remind you, she's at the front desk. Middle of the lobby. In full view of the breakfast area. She's also been creating a scene, and has attracted plenty of attention to watch this happen.



    GM and E facepalm visibly (that was amazing to watch on the camera recording after I heard this story) and N runs and grabs some towels and a blanket, which they get around her...but she keeps wiggling and getting the blanket back off of her, so the cops finally got pissed and just dragged her to the car and shut her away so she would be out of public view.

    They went up to the room and evicted Guy as well (who was still cool, and left with no issues) since they never wanted her to come back, and had to file a nice, long police report.

    And had I stayed a mere five minutes longer, I would have been stuck there to help deal with it.

    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
    "What IS fun to fight through?"
    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

  • #2
    For some reason, I wound up hearing "OH YEAH! CUFF ME HARDER! YEAH BABY!" a la Duffman or even Kelsey Grammar. Observe.
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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    • #3
      Seems that Engineer wasn't the only E she was hitting on.
      Meeeeoooow.....
      Still missing you, Plaid

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      • #4
        Just...wow!

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        • #5
          Haha... wow. I think I'd have actually liked to be there. Everyone needs a floor show every once in a while!

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          • #6
            You mentioned that this was on video. On which dumb criminal show will that one be airing?
            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

            Who is John Galt?
            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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            • #7
              Oh please let it be TruTvs Worlds Dumbest. I can hear Brad Loekle already.

              "Honey, that cop has more important things to do, and you AREN'T on that list."
              My Guide to Oblivion

              "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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              • #8
                I can tolerate most abuses to the English language, but if you really want to see me cringe, end every sentence with "...and shit," as if it's some sort of post modern punctuation. I'd rather a thousand "you know's" to the face than listen to someone say thirty words unable to go three without saying "...and shit."

                I had a friend start doing that after watching three Eddie Murphy concert videos in a row. I think he thought it was funny at first, but then he started doing it without realizing it, and it completely surprised him. He was going to go to the dining hall and get some lunch and shit, and then he had to work on a paper and shit, and then he had to go to town to get his car fixed and shit, but later tonight he was going to get together with his girlfriend and shit, and they were going to go to the Asylum (a dance club) and shit, even though tomorrow he had to get up early and shit, and pretty soon everyone else in the room was staring at him like he'd lost his mind.

                Weird what gets stuck in your head sometimes.

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                • #9
                  ... so there is video footage... *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* With voice recording too?
                  No trees were killed in the posting of this message.

                  However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth BeeMused View Post
                    *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*
                    Say no more, say no more
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                    • #11
                      Well, now, there's a real classy girl, for sure.

                      Re: the language, my neighbors are like that, except with the "F" word. If that word suddenly disappeared from their memories they would not be able to hold a conversation, and trust me, they're already close enough to "too dumb for words."
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Tama View Post
                        Oh please let it be TruTvs Worlds Dumbest. I can hear Brad Loekle already.

                        "Honey, that cop has more important things to do, and you AREN'T on that list."
                        LOL I read that in his voice too.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Ben_Who View Post
                          I can tolerate most abuses to the English language, but if you really want to see me cringe, end every sentence with "...and shit," as if it's some sort of post modern punctuation. I'd rather a thousand "you know's" to the face than listen to someone say thirty words unable to go three without saying "...and shit."
                          Well, I just can't ignore a setup like that, now can I?



                          /Don't hurt me and shit.
                          //I'll take bribes to stop and shit.
                          ///I can't tell if it's worse with, or without a comma, and shit.

                          "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                          "What IS fun to fight through?"
                          "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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                          • #14
                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            Say no more, say no more
                            A nudge is good as a wink to a blind bat.
                            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                            • #15
                              When people end every sentence with "...and shit" I always assume that have some sort of digestive issues.
                              https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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