The first amendment doesn't work like that...

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I don't know if someone put crazy pills in the water lately but for the past week the SCs have gotten worse...

This woman was a special case. Usually we don't have reps request a manager take over a call but they are allowed to in the case of a particularly harassing or abusive customer. So one of my reps flags me down to deal with this customer who was apparently being very obscene and insulting.

So I put on the headset and ask the customer what I can help with. She launches into a tirade hurling insults at my company and personal insults at the reps shes dealt with before. I get her calmed down a little and ask what's wrong with the phone. She screeches at me to just read the notes. As you might be able to guess, with a customer like this, there are a LOT of notes. I get a general idea of what I THINK the problem might be and try to start troubleshooting. She flies off the handle again because apparently I'm not understanding (uh yeah, when you won't freaking tell me anything or answer any questions, that can happen) She proceeds to launch into another tirade in which she personally insults me, not once, but twice. I'm talking very direct, very vulgar insults explaining in no uncertain terms what I can go do with myself.

I told her that is uncalled for and if she keeps it up, I will disconnect the call. She then launches into a new tirade about the 1st Amendment gives her the right to say whatever she wants to us and we can't do a damned thing about it. I calmly explain to her the 1st Amendment does NOT apply in this situation because <Red Checkmark> is a privately owned company and NOT the U.S. Government and I am in no way obligated to stay on this line indefinitely and take her abuse.

She starts ranting on about how I am wrong, how I don't understand, how she has rights and I'm not respecting them. I try to calm her down again and get back to the phone problem and she again very obscenely tells me what I should do with myself.

At that point I politely told her I'd already warned her about that behavior and that I was disconnecting the call.

The amazing invisible money

This woman asked for a manager because she was convinced we were screwing her over somehow. The funny thing about this is she hadn't paid a bill yet...but she didn't owe a balance either because she had a credit from a phone buyback which covered her first month of service. Bottom line, she doesn't owe us anything until November, but that's not good enough...

SC: Why am being charged for service I haven't used yet?
Me: Well actually you aren't being charged for anything at the moment. You do have a bill and that bill is showing your credit for the phone you traded in. That covered the cost of your service from now through October.
SC: But the bill says you're charging me for services from September 10 to October 11.
Me: Correct.
SC: But it's not October yet! How can you charge me for October when it's still September?
Me: All wireless companies bill a month in advance as clearly indicated on your bill.
SC: But I was supposed to get a $200 credit.
Me: And you did. Part of it covered the cost of your phone and the other part covered your first month of service.
SC: But I haven't USED the service yet! How can you bill me for what I haven't used??
Me: As I told you a moment ago, all wireless companies bill in ADVANCE. Your plan is a monthly flat rate. Since it doesn't change, we bill in advance to make things easier. If you change your plan mid cycle, then we give a credit for whatever days you won't be using and apply that to the cost of the new plan.
SC: Why do you make this so complicated?
Me: It's really not. The bottom line is you don't owe us a penny until November.
SC: I was told I was going to get a $200 credit.
Me: And you got it. $200 minus the cost of the phone and your first month of service.
SC: But why doesn't my bill show a $200 credit?
Me: Because of the charges that went against it.
SC: They told me at the store I would see a $200 credit.
Me: (and here we go...) I apologize for any confusion but once again you did very clearly get a $200 and it was applied correctly.
SC: But I don't see it.
Me: Well, not the full amount because--
SC: What is this you're not understanding???? I was supposed to get a $200 credit. My bill should show a $200 credit. GIVE ME A $200 CREDIT!
Me: (boy...that escalated quickly) You already got a $200 credit against which we charged your phone and your first month of service.
SC: Unacceptable! I refuse to pay for service I haven't used yet!
Me: Again I apologize but I can't change the way our billing system works. You have to pay in advance.
SC: Unacceptable!
Me: It's going to have to be, there's nothing anyone can do about it.
SC: GIVE ME MY CREDIT!
Me: You already got it.
SC: NO I DIDN'T!
Me: Yes, you did.
SC: I'M NOT GOING TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF LIKE THIS!! I REFUSE TO PAY YOU PEOPLE ANYTHING.
Me: The billing works the way it works. If you are unhappy with that or anything else relating to our services you can go back to the store and cancel within 14 days.
SC: So you're not going to credit me?
Me: If you mean I am going to give you an extra $200 on top of the $200 you already got, then no.
SC: Fine. SCREW YOU, I'm going to D-Mobile! *click*

If only I had a heart

This one was a bit different because the person asking for a manager didn't even HAVE a <red checkmark> account. But their relative, who apparently was missing, did. This person wanted us to tell them whether or not their account was active or suspended due to non-payment or what have you.

Unfortunately, all they could give me was a name, phone number and address. Not enough for proper verification. Thus the fun begins...

Me: I understand what you need and I wish I could help but we have strict security policies here and I cannot release information without proper authorization.
SC: Look, I'm not asking for the world here. I don't need all the details on the account, I just need to know if it's active.
Me: I realize that may seem like a basic request, but active or suspended status is considered account specific information and therefore I need verification before I can provide it.
SC: Are you human? Do you understand what's going on here? This is an emergency!
Me: I definitely sympathize with you but if this is truly an emergency you should contact the police. They are able to contact us directly to get information they need for any investigation.
SC: I was just trying to see if their phone was on before I went to the police. Surely you can tell me that.
Me: Ma'am if I release that information to you, I could lose my job. I understand this is an emergency situation but there's really nothing I can do here.
SC: Look I have 5 lines with <red checkmark> and I'm seriously thinking of taking them to your competition because of how I'm being treated here.
Me: I apologize if you feel you've been poorly treated. I do feel bad about your situation and genuinely hope your loved one is safe, but our account security policy is a no exceptions policy.
SC: Can I speak to another manager? There must be a manager there who can make an exception for us.
Me: Our senior management has left for the day. I can set up a call back for you tomorrow morning if you like.
SC: That's too late! I need to talk to someone now. There's no manager or supervisor there who can make an exception?
Me: Absolutely not.
SC: Fine. I'll take my 5 lines and go to a company who actually cares about people.
*click*

You'd make a heck of a politician, son

Guy buys a brand spanking new Galaxy S6. Drops it three days after he got it, then calls in and claims that someone at our company told him he could get a free replacement. This is not an unusual occurrence and I swear if I ever find the mysterious "guy" who tells people this all the time I'll kick his ass!

Of course, as he usually does, mystery promise guy has left NO notes in the account! So basically, no free phone for this guy.

The funny thing was, the account notes show five prior calls today and each time he changes his story about the how the phone got broken. In order, the explanations he gave us were:

1) It fell off a dryer
2) It got knocked off a coffee table
3) He dropped it in the garage
4) It got knocked off a kitchen counter
5) It fell off his nightstand

You can't make this stuff up Anyway, I told him in no uncertain terms that we CANNOT waive an insurance deductible or send out a free phone. This is laid out very clearly in our policy. He hung up on me.

Gee, I wonder what his next story will be?

Things that make you go hmmm...

This wasn't a manager call, but rather one I helped a newer rep handle...

We got talking to a nice elderly lady who had over $800 in data overages on her bill

Now, she was telling us that couldn't possibly be right because the two lines on this account belong to her teenage grandchildren and they are "so very responsible with their phones" so there had to be something wrong with our system."

Well gosh, if I didn't know any better I'd swear our system is terrible because so many customers are complaining about it being wrong all the time.

Anyway, after a very thorough explanation of how data is billed, how it's used and how she can, you know, flip the switch and cut those lines OFF if they get close or go over she was a little calmer. Since this account had been with us since 1998 and had a good pay history we offered her, with approval of the manager above me, a $400 credit on those data charges.

While that might seem extreme, we looked at the account history and saw she hadn't received a single credit since 2005 so she wasn't an SC or even a mild complainer.

Everything actually turned out quite well, it was just the naivete of the grandmother that caught me a little off guard.

[flyonthewall]

Sheesh, do you ever have to call the cops when people get super crazy? 0.o

[notalwaysright]

Wow. Every time you post I just stare at some of the things people say in total horror. I mean, it's not like I'm super sheltered, I KNOW people suck. Just... Reading the crap you deal with makes me have even less faith in humanity. When crows rule the world I will welcome them, they are smarter than these people. Yes, I've been reading Cracked, I realize it's not exactly quality reading, don't mock me!

Also, it's funny, I'm so lazy I wouldn't change my service every time a company annoyed me. I mean, I don't particularly care for the way my internet provider lists it's speeds, but I don't randomly call them like "My plan says Economy Plus, but there is an Economy Starter which is faster?! IT'S SO CONFUSING!!1!" You know? And obviously these people were stupider than slugs because there was nothing wrong with their service. Except for that first lady, who you don't even know what was wrong because she wouldn't tell you.

[eltf177]

I'm guessing first lady got more notes in her file... Seriously, this one needs a freaking clue!

The second woman really needs to learn basic math 101, or at least listen to you when you explain!

I feel bad for the third woman but she really needed to call the cops and let them call you - you can give them that info but not her!

What a world!

[MoonCat]

Yeah, the "emergency" one, I mean, really...you can't wait until tomorrow morning? How long has the person supposedly been missing? You would think it would be more important to go to the cops FIRST and let them do their thing, instead of wasting time harassing the phone company. The person won't be found any faster just because you know whether the phone account is still active or not.

[Headset Hellion]

#3 sounds like some bullshit. Someone close to you is missing, so you spend ~45 on the line with their cell phone company? Totally legit. I'm guessing they weren't missing so much as they were blocking calls from this psycho.

[eltf177]

#3 sounds like some bullshit. Someone close to you is missing, so you spend ~45 on the line with their cell phone company? Totally legit. I'm guessing they weren't missing so much as they were blocking calls from this psycho.

Somehow I was getting the exact same impression, there's a reason they're not answering!

[sirwired]

You know, as an Sinister Bad Person, whenever I kidnap somebody, the first thing I do is make them call Customer Service for their cell phone carrier and make sure they don't have to pay for cellular service while they are in my Evil Clutches... right...

And the last one... THAT, my friends, is how you obtain a credit. By being nice and polite. You don't have to be totally on the ball, just pleasant to talk to and not flying off the handle.

[Argabarga]

Indeed, the only times I get a credit, ironically, is when I don't ask for it.

I called up my credit card (in the pre internet days) and told them I missed my payment, and to re-calculate it w/ late fees for me so I could mail them a check (told ya it was pre internet days, baby!)

The rep on the other end just waived it and said pay the amount I thought was due.... funny that, cooperation.

[ComputerNecromancer]

The number of people who have that delusion about the first amendment is *huge*.

I encountered way too many of them when I was co-sysop of a BBS for a dozen years.

One of the things that *can* get across to them is "Yes, you have the right to say anything you want. I don't have to listen to you say it though"

Also, even the first amendment doesn't say that there won't be *consequences* for what you say.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Yeah, the "emergency" one, I mean, really...you can't wait until tomorrow morning? [B]How long has the person supposedly been missing?

From what the customer told me, they'd been out of contact with the relative for around 7 hours.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

From what the customer told me, they'd been out of contact with the relative for around 7 hours.

Then I would have been on the phone with the police department, who would be better equipped to help find that missing relative instead of the wireless company.

If there is such a missing person, that is. I think elf177 hit the nail on the head and suggested there is a reason that person isn't answering their phone and it involves this "concerned" relation *coughbullshitcough*

Besides, the police have the connections and the know how to find out about the wireless phone records - not your average Joe Citizen.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Yeeeah, far too many ignorant people assume the First Amendment (and really, most other amendments in the Bill of Rights) means that they are immune from anyone stopping them doing/saying what they want.

More than once at the wholesale club, we had to deal with stand-offish jerkfaces that refused to let us check their receipt at the door (and please, take any debates about that practice to Fratching) and some of them tried to pull the Fourth Amendment (about search and seizure) in to protect them.

Funnily enough, once we started pointing out that the Fourth Amendment only protects them against the government doing such a thing, not a privately owned company like the wholesale club, they stopped arguing that point, though they still pissed and moaned about the receipt checks.

[mhkohne]

Yeeeah, far too many ignorant people assume the First Amendment (and really, most other amendments in the Bill of Rights) means that they are immune from anyone stopping them doing/saying what they want.

More than once at the wholesale club, we had to deal with stand-offish jerkfaces that refused to let us check their receipt at the door (and please, take any debates about that practice to Fratching) and some of them tried to pull the Fourth Amendment (about search and seizure) in to protect them.

Funnily enough, once we started pointing out that the Fourth Amendment only protects them against the government doing such a thing, not a privately owned company like the wholesale club, they stopped arguing that point, though they still pissed and moaned about the receipt checks.

I swear that's gotta be the dumbest argument - did they read the agreement they signed to get the club membership? Because I'll bet money that the agreement allows for the door check.

[Android Kaeli]

As I work in a Warehouse place as well, I worked the exit door a few times when I still was cashiering. I was thankful that the few times I did work in that position only a couple of people made a stink about receipt checking -- completely understand that it's not the best thing in the world, again not the thread to go into more detail. But what totally shut them up is me telling them that it was either I checked their receipt or I could watch them be hauled up to the Grey Bar Motel, their choice.

Yes that was one of the things that the exit door people could get away with saying.