Tweet
Oh why do the idiots come out drinking when I'm on duty?
The Domestic
So, was working on the bar, when all of a sudden, I hear a smash. First thought that enters my head is that a stupid customer dropped their glass. So I said to a couple of co-workers that the first one to finish serving should go see what it was and clean it up.
Next thing I know, a man runs up to the bar and screams "A womans been attacked!" The manager and another co-worker ran over. I was told to stay on the bar, as we did not want to overcrowd her.
The manager came back a few minutes later and filled me in.
Basically, the husband and wife were arguing, and she got angry and threw her wedding ring at him. He responded by throwing his GLASS at her. It smashed all over her, and several customers. Not ONE member of staff witnessed it, but plenty of customers did. The manager took statements from all the customers that were around, and reviewed the security camera footage. But the poor woman was adament about pressing charges, so we had no choice but to leave it.
At the end of the night, she came back into the bar, saying "I've changed my mind, I'm pressing charges, this isn't the first time this has happened to me"
The manager called the police.
Idiot Fake Nun
There were a large group of women in fancy dress, one of which was dressed up as a nun. Now, it was OBVIOUS she was in fancy dress, but for some reason, this woman tried to pretend she wasn't part of the large group.
Nun: Pint of lager please. (image an extremelly chavish/common english accent)
Me: OK sure.
Nun: And I get a DISCOUNT on that right?
Me: Why would you think that?
Nun: Nuns discount!
Me: Theres no such thing as Nuns discount.
Nun: I am a WOMAN OF GOD. I deserve a discount.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't give discounts on drinks to ANYONE. Not even the staff get them.
Nun: I am a WOMAN OF GOD. I want to see the manager?
Me: Oh my God, are you serious? You seriously want to make even more of a fool out of yourself?
Nun: ....
Me: Can you just pay for it please?
She paid, and notice she didn't get angry when I said "Oh my God"
Asking the obvious
What is the most common thing a bar sells? It starts with Al and ends with Cohol.
SC: Do you sell alcohol here?
He wasn't joking. I didnt mean to be cheeky, I really didn't, I just said the first thing that came into my head.
Me: Lots.
He looked very offended, and the co-worker stood next to me burst into a fit of giggles.
Are you serious???
A woman came up to the bar and banged her meal down. It was a meal with spare ribs and chicken wings.
SC: I want a refund!
Me: What seems to be the problem?
SC: Its too hot! I can't eat it!
Me: Okkkkkaaaay.
She grabs a menu.
SC: There is nothing on the menu that says these extra spicy chicken wings are hot! I hate hot food!
Me: Didn't the extra spicy in the title make it clear it was going to be hot?
SC: I didn't understand that! It should have said extra HOT not extra SPICY! Who is supposed to understand that?
Me: I'm sorry, but it does say it is hot, it even has four chilis below it. (we have a system of showing how hot the meal is on a scale of one to four, and using chilis as the symbol)
SC: Hmph! I'm never eating here again!
More stupid students
As mentioned in a previous thread of mine, students arent exactly popular in my bar. A large group of thirty plus students came in, and took up a whole area of the pub. They were there for about three hours, when I noticed something odd.
Me: Have ANY of those students bought anything since they've been in here?
CW: Umm, now you mention it...
I went over, and not ONE of them had a drink!
Me: OK guys if you're not going to buy anything I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Students: WHAT??? Where are we supposed to go?
Me: We are not your house, you have to buy something to stay in here.
They left.
Outside food
Was cleaning an area of the bar, when I looked and saw four women, each sat with a large assortment of chinese food! They had quite obviously wandered to the nearest takeaway and got some food. I didnt say anything, I just went to the manager.
Me: Go into the back area of the bar, and see if you notice anything odd when you look at the first table on the left.
Manager: Okaaaaay.
The manager wandered in. All I heard was
Manager: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!
He was in a bad mood, and seeing these women bringing outside food into our place sent him a bit over the edge.
Stay there all night then!
Finished the shift, closed the bar, and we all sat down for a couple of drinks. A group of customers walk past, and see us. So they immediately think we are open and try the door. Locked. We just shake our heads. But one of them starts to shout.
SC: LET US IN!
We ignore them.
SC: LET US IN! WE WANT A DRINK TOO YOU KNOW!
We ignore them.
SC: YOU HAVE TO LET US IN!
A co-worker shouts.
CW: WE'VE BEEN CLOSED FOR TWO HOURS IDIOT!
SC: WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU LET US IN!
CW: THEN STAY THERE ALL NIGHT THEN!
SC: WE WILL!
They hung around for five minutes at the most.
The Domestic
So, was working on the bar, when all of a sudden, I hear a smash. First thought that enters my head is that a stupid customer dropped their glass. So I said to a couple of co-workers that the first one to finish serving should go see what it was and clean it up.
Next thing I know, a man runs up to the bar and screams "A womans been attacked!" The manager and another co-worker ran over. I was told to stay on the bar, as we did not want to overcrowd her.
The manager came back a few minutes later and filled me in.
Basically, the husband and wife were arguing, and she got angry and threw her wedding ring at him. He responded by throwing his GLASS at her. It smashed all over her, and several customers. Not ONE member of staff witnessed it, but plenty of customers did. The manager took statements from all the customers that were around, and reviewed the security camera footage. But the poor woman was adament about pressing charges, so we had no choice but to leave it.
At the end of the night, she came back into the bar, saying "I've changed my mind, I'm pressing charges, this isn't the first time this has happened to me"
The manager called the police.
Idiot Fake Nun
There were a large group of women in fancy dress, one of which was dressed up as a nun. Now, it was OBVIOUS she was in fancy dress, but for some reason, this woman tried to pretend she wasn't part of the large group.
Nun: Pint of lager please. (image an extremelly chavish/common english accent)
Me: OK sure.
Nun: And I get a DISCOUNT on that right?
Me: Why would you think that?
Nun: Nuns discount!
Me: Theres no such thing as Nuns discount.
Nun: I am a WOMAN OF GOD. I deserve a discount.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't give discounts on drinks to ANYONE. Not even the staff get them.
Nun: I am a WOMAN OF GOD. I want to see the manager?
Me: Oh my God, are you serious? You seriously want to make even more of a fool out of yourself?
Nun: ....
Me: Can you just pay for it please?
She paid, and notice she didn't get angry when I said "Oh my God"
Asking the obvious
What is the most common thing a bar sells? It starts with Al and ends with Cohol.
SC: Do you sell alcohol here?
He wasn't joking. I didnt mean to be cheeky, I really didn't, I just said the first thing that came into my head.
Me: Lots.
He looked very offended, and the co-worker stood next to me burst into a fit of giggles.
Are you serious???
A woman came up to the bar and banged her meal down. It was a meal with spare ribs and chicken wings.
SC: I want a refund!
Me: What seems to be the problem?
SC: Its too hot! I can't eat it!
Me: Okkkkkaaaay.
She grabs a menu.
SC: There is nothing on the menu that says these extra spicy chicken wings are hot! I hate hot food!
Me: Didn't the extra spicy in the title make it clear it was going to be hot?
SC: I didn't understand that! It should have said extra HOT not extra SPICY! Who is supposed to understand that?
Me: I'm sorry, but it does say it is hot, it even has four chilis below it. (we have a system of showing how hot the meal is on a scale of one to four, and using chilis as the symbol)
SC: Hmph! I'm never eating here again!
More stupid students
As mentioned in a previous thread of mine, students arent exactly popular in my bar. A large group of thirty plus students came in, and took up a whole area of the pub. They were there for about three hours, when I noticed something odd.
Me: Have ANY of those students bought anything since they've been in here?
CW: Umm, now you mention it...
I went over, and not ONE of them had a drink!
Me: OK guys if you're not going to buy anything I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Students: WHAT??? Where are we supposed to go?
Me: We are not your house, you have to buy something to stay in here.
They left.
Outside food
Was cleaning an area of the bar, when I looked and saw four women, each sat with a large assortment of chinese food! They had quite obviously wandered to the nearest takeaway and got some food. I didnt say anything, I just went to the manager.
Me: Go into the back area of the bar, and see if you notice anything odd when you look at the first table on the left.
Manager: Okaaaaay.
The manager wandered in. All I heard was
Manager: OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!
He was in a bad mood, and seeing these women bringing outside food into our place sent him a bit over the edge.
Stay there all night then!
Finished the shift, closed the bar, and we all sat down for a couple of drinks. A group of customers walk past, and see us. So they immediately think we are open and try the door. Locked. We just shake our heads. But one of them starts to shout.
SC: LET US IN!
We ignore them.
SC: LET US IN! WE WANT A DRINK TOO YOU KNOW!
We ignore them.
SC: YOU HAVE TO LET US IN!
A co-worker shouts.
CW: WE'VE BEEN CLOSED FOR TWO HOURS IDIOT!
SC: WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU LET US IN!
CW: THEN STAY THERE ALL NIGHT THEN!
SC: WE WILL!
They hung around for five minutes at the most.
Comment