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  • Close, but no cigar.

    So, a lady calls us up, trying to get internet service. We used to be an ISP, but it was costing us nothing but money and time, so we sold our service. So, being the nice person I am, I kindly direct her to the main ISP.

    So, she calls me a 'crouton'. Yes, as in the crunchy spiced bread.

    Now, normally I'd be offended and annoyed by that, but I'm still giggling over it. I want a recording of 'You crouton!' for my ringtone.

    So, anybody else have entertaining stores of insults not quite hitting home?
    Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me!

    I like big bots and I cannot lie.

  • #2
    Many many years ago I was with a coworker who knew I knew spanish. A rather shallow coworker who wanted to insult me, so she said "Vas a hell".

    One year of spanish in high school does not give you the ability to do good insults, let me tell you. It took me a good half minute to figure out that she was trying to tell me "Go to hell!" It really dilutes the effect if you're mixing two languages, and in this case, that you don't know the command forms of the verbs.

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    • #3
      Why is that when somebody wants to learn a bit of spanish that they want to learn how to say ALL the bad words?
      I'm Puerto Rican & i get amused by people who think a few lessons in spanish can instantly make you fluent. I don't think so.

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      • #4
        Quoth Bright_Star View Post
        Why is that when somebody wants to learn a bit of spanish that they want to learn how to say ALL the bad words?
        I'm Puerto Rican & i get amused by people who think a few lessons in spanish can instantly make you fluent. I don't think so.
        The son of a family friend spent a month in Italy with his grandmother when he was a teenager and came home knowing no Italian except for curse words...
        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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        • #5
          Quoth Bright_Star View Post
          Why is that when somebody wants to learn a bit of spanish that they want to learn how to say ALL the bad words?
          My wife is Puerto Rican, and her parents spoke mostly Spanish when they were still alive. Her father knew enough English to get by, but her mother knew very little.

          We have one friend who, while he's a very nice guy, isn't they sharpest knife in the drawer. He asked her to teach him some spanish cuss words, which she did. Unfortunately, he picked the worst time to use them...

          One day, he came over to pick her up to meet some friends, because she didn't drive. Her mother happened to be outside with her, and right there, in front of her mother, he yells, "Hey puta!", which basically means "whore."

          Quoth Bright_Star View Post
          I'm Puerto Rican & i get amused by people who think a few lessons in spanish can instantly make you fluent. I don't think so.
          You aren't kidding. I had four years of spanish in high school, got an A or a high B each year, and I still can't really use it. I can comprehend single words or short sentences, but anything beyond that and it all runs together. And I've forgotten so much of it. I can still conjugate a verb in present tense, but I've pretty much forgotten past and future tenses.

          I'm sure if I had actually been using it since then, I'd be much better at it.
          Sometimes life is altered.
          Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
          Uneasy with confrontation.
          Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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          • #6
            ¡Bright Star y MadMike! Uno momento por favor. Como MadMike, estudié español en escuela, pero nunca podí hablar con nativos. Estudié por demasiados años, y nunca progresé por nada.

            Ahora, mientras es posible q no puedo escribir muy bien en español, puedo hablar con nativos bastante bien, y tengo nativos q trabajo con, y son de Argentina, y Mexico, y otros países sudamericanos y america central. Todos dicen q hablo muy bueno. Necesito mucho mas practica, por seguro, y hay mucho vocabulario q no tengo.

            ¿Como aprendí demasiado? Lecciones en CD de Dr. Pimsleur. Compré de http://www.pimsleurapproach.com/ . No trabajo por ellos. Solo soy contento con lo q compré.

            Para todos, en íngles:
            Bright Star and Made Mike! A momento, please. Like MadMike, I studied Spanish in high school, but I never was able to speak with natives. I studied for too many years, and never progressed at all.

            Now, while it is possible that I can't write very well in Spanish, I can speak with natives fairly well, and I have natives that I work with, and they are from Argentina, and Mexico, and other South American and Central American countries. All of them say that I speak very well. I need much more practice, of course, and there's a lot a vocabulary that I don't have,

            How did I learn so much? Lessons on CD from Dr. Pimsleur. I bought them from http://www.pimsleurapproach.com/ . I don't work for them. I'm just happy with what I bought.
            Last edited by Pedersen; 08-26-2007, 04:46 AM. Reason: Woops, my bad. Offered to sell something, and forgot it was against the rules. Removed offer.

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            • #7
              Quoth MadMike View Post
              I had four years of spanish in high school, got an A or a high B each year, and I still can't really use it. I can comprehend single words or short sentences, but anything beyond that and it all runs together. And I've forgotten so much of it. I can still conjugate a verb in present tense, but I've pretty much forgotten past and future tenses.

              I'm sure if I had actually been using it since then, I'd be much better at it.
              Same for me, except I took two years of Spanish. Add another two years of French, and what do you get?

              VERY basic skills and literal translations. Heh.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #8
                Quoth Pedersen View Post
                Ahora, mientras es posible q no puedo escribir muy bien en español, puedo hablar con nativos bastante bien, y tengo nativos q trabajo con, y son de Argentina, y Mexico, y otros países sudamericanos y america central. Todos dicen q hablo muy bueno. Necesito mucho mas practica, por seguro, y hay mucho vocabulario q no tengo.
                Not bad, but "que" has three letters in it. It threw me every time I ran across it.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Acolyte View Post
                  So, she calls me a 'crouton'.
                  *doing her lousiest Joe Pesci impression* "I'm a crouton? What's that supposed to mean? Am I some kinda dried bread, here for your amusement? Are you callin' me a crouton?"
                  "I call murder on that!"

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                  • #10
                    I took French Immersion for ten years. I can't speak a word of French now, and can barely read it, but boy can I swear in French.

                    I can also swear in Mandarin, but that has nothing at all to do with school.
                    (<- Firefly geek)
                    Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me!

                    I like big bots and I cannot lie.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Gurndigarn View Post
                      Not bad, but "que" has three letters in it. It threw me every time I ran across it.
                      I'm saddly used to it as most kids here write "que" as "q" to save time while typing, it's the equivalent of the american kids who use "u" and "r" for you and are. it's sad.
                      I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                      "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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                      • #12
                        Back at the arena I had a Japanese guy insult me in Japanese; imagine his shock when I responded to him in Japanese.

                        I can speak Japanese well enough to get by and the same with French. Have a hard time writing both languages though.*

                        *:I love learning foreign languages, next language might be Italian or Chinese.

                        As for an insult that didn't hit home, Expensive Dinner Man called me a "monkey." Found it funny.
                        The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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                        • #13
                          I work in an office in a warehouse where the majority of the employees speak Spanish, and often little or no English. I occasionally catch a few words here and there but for the most part I can't understand them at all. If they slowed down, maybe I'd get more...and my mom says I talk fast...

                          (ftr, I took 3 years in high school and a semester in college, which I graduated 10 years ago.)
                          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                          • #14
                            I can't speak much of the Spanish I learned in 6 years (though I sound great when reading it aloud, I can't conjugate verbs to save my life) but I can still understand a lot of it. It always cracks me up when the guys I work with, or even people out in the real word, talk in Spanish as a way to gossip, and I respond that I can understand what they're saying.

                            I was really proud the other night when eating a Mexican restaurant, the waitress was impressed by my accent when I ordered (flautas con pollo) that she then was questioning me about my tortillas and sides in Spanish as well. I was proud that I could actually understand and answer, after all these years.

                            As for insults, I just get a lot of techs talking down to me, who are astounded when I know what they're talking about and one up them. Just because I'm not a field tech doesn't mean I'm not at all familiar with the equipment I talk about on a day to day basis, guys.
                            "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                            “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                            • #15
                              Are you sure she wasn't calling you a Cretin with a bad accent?

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