Fun with grammar, spelling and.....stuff.

[Hon'ya-chan]

Curse You Cooper!!

Me: (Bookstore), how can I help you?
SC: It's May I help you?
Me: Que?
SC: MAY I HELP YOU?
Me: Um yes, is this the pizza place?
SC: *slams phone*

Thank you Coop for preparing me for this.

Spelling, Take 1

SC: Yes, I want a book by Nicolas Sparks
Me: *slides to the computer* Any of his books your looking for?
SC: S-P-A-R-K-S. SPARKS!!
Me: ... Any of his books your interested in?

Spelling, Take 2

SC: I'm looking for Pomeranian Books.
Me: *slides to the computer* Lemme see here....see if I have them.
SC: P-O-M-E-R-A-N-I-A-N.
Me:

Spelling, Take 3

SC: Do you have Dumas? D-U-M-A-S.
Me: ... (Type in "dumbass" into the computer). Nope, none of his books in stock!! want me to special order?
SC: No thank you. *leaves*

Application Nightmares

So I was tasked to sort thru the pile of applications today. After throwing out the underage ones (18 or over to sell Playboy), I find a few spelling gems:

• One listed her previous job as Striper.
• One guy admitted to pleading guilty to Unauthorised looseage of a Veihicular wheel-thingy
• Found one with a mysterious gap in work history. 1939-2000 he wasn't working (I'm assuming he meant 1999).
• One guy couldn't work knights.

[huckster]

Was looking to hire a part timer for my department and one of my bosses had a potential candidate. He had been talking with her for a while (she was a hottie) and suggested I go and talk with her about the position. He's going on and on about how nice she is (uh huh) and she works with computers.
I cut him some slack and go talk to her. She was nice but works at Hooters. Don't know where computers came from. He was a perv.

[bigjimaz]

* One listed her previous job as Striper. (So what's wrong with painting lines on the road?)
* One guy admitted to pleading guilty to Unauthorised looseage of a Veihicular wheel-thingy. (He loosened a lug nut?)
* Found one with a mysterious gap in work history. 1939-2000 he wasn't working. (That's gotta play hell on his Social Security income)
* One guy couldn't work knights. (He should have stuck to the pawns)

I just couldn't resist. I have a very great pet peeve for people who cannot spell, use fairly proper grammar or don't know the proper placement or usage for periods, commas or Capital letters.

My current peeve are people that the only time they type a period all day is the one after "www" and before "com" in a web address.

I have a guy who comes into the chat room and instead of using the space bar puts an underline

so_all_of_his_sentences_look_like_this_and_it aggravates_the_hell_out_of_me.

Luckily the software automatically splits this up or the board would be stretched as wide as a football field.

[bigjimaz]

She was nice but works at Hooters. Don't know where computers came from. He was a perv.

[ReadyToRetire]

Spelling, Take 1

SC: Yes, I want a book by Nicolas Sparks
Me: *slides to the computer* Any of his books your looking for?
SC: S-P-A-R-K-S. SPARKS!!
Me: ... Any of his books your interested in?


How ironic, in your post about misspellings, that you misspelled the word "you're" twice.

[siead_lietrathua]

Me: (Bookstore), how can I help you?
SC: It's May I help you?
Me: Que?
SC: MAY I HELP YOU?
Me: Um yes, is this the pizza place?
SC: *slams phone*

Thank you Coop for preparing me for this.

oh, see this person was actually wrong. by them calling you can assume that they want your help, so you just need to know how they need assistance. i love it when grammer-psuedo-nazis get it wrong in their efforts to correct everyone.

[KnitShoni]

Spelling, Take 1

SC: Yes, I want a book by Nicolas Sparks
Me: *slides to the computer* Any of his books your looking for?
SC: S-P-A-R-K-S. SPARKS!!
Me: ... Any of his books your interested in?


How ironic, in your post about misspellings, that you misspelled the word "you're" twice.

That's actually not a spelling error, it is a usage error.

[Imogene]

[B]
SC: Do you have Dumas? D-U-M-A-S.
Me: ... (Type in "dumbass" into the computer). Nope, none of his books in stock!! want me to special order?
SC: No thank you. *leaves*

Er... was the SC saying it "Dumbass"? Or was that just there for you to run them off?

"I just want to say, Mr. Dum-ass, I think I would be a terrific addition to the company."
"It's Dumas!"
"Thick-headed?"

[Broomjockey]

SC: Do you have Dumas? D-U-M-A-S.
Me: ... (Type in "dumbass" into the computer). Nope, none of his books in stock!! want me to special order?
SC: No thank you. *leaves*

"The Count of Monty Crisco, by Alexandry Dumbass. Dumbass. Huh."
"What? Lemme see that. It's Dumas."
</Shawshank Redemption>

[BookstoreEscapee]

"The Count of Monty Crisco, by Alexandry Dumbass. Dumbass. Huh."
"What? Lemme see that. It's Dumas."
</Shawshank Redemption>

Damn! You beat me to it! Awesome movie!

I can't work knights, either. The heavy armor kills my back, and carrying around that sword all day? No thanks.

So, I guess it wasn't the pizza place? *wants cheesy goodness*

[Andara Bledin]

• One listed her previous job as Striper.
• One guy admitted to pleading guilty to Unauthorised looseage of a Veihicular wheel-thingy

I'm wondering if that first one wasn't actually a striper... like a candy striper at a hospital or something. Of course, if she had been a stripper, then she wouldn't be doing much work with words....

I want to know what a "Veihicular wheel-thingy" is, now.

My current peeve are people that the only time they type a period all day is the one after "www" and before "com" in a web address.

And if you call them periods, they just look at you funny, because to those types, they're "dots."

^-.-^

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm wondering if that first one wasn't actually a striper... like a candy striper at a hospital or something. Of course, if she had been a stripper, then she wouldn't be doing much work with words....
^-.-^

I thought that, too. But if she was a Candy Striper, wouldn't it make sense to write "candy striper"?

sense? what is that? Is that allowed?

[Geek King]

I thought that, too. But if she was a Candy Striper, wouldn't it make sense to write "candy striper"?

sense? what is that? Is that allowed?

Maybe a road striper? Painting lines on the road?

[Hon'ya-chan]

I'm wondering if that first one wasn't actually a striper... like a candy striper at a hospital or something. Of course, if she had been a stripper, then she wouldn't be doing much work with words....

When the work history lists a well-known strip club, putting two and two together is obvious.

Then again, I hear people are into Medical stuff in a sexual context....

I want to know what a "Veihicular wheel-thingy" is, now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TWOC

[BookstoreEscapee]

TADA sounds like something you'd charge a criminal magician with.

What were you arrested for?

<waves magic wand and sweeps aside curtain> TA-DAA!!!