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Dear [Internet Store],
I hate you.
I hate the way you treat your customers.
I hate the fact that you refuse to give us operators who's time you're paying exuberantly for the resources to further help your customers, because even if you're paying out the ass, none of use are getting paid enough to have to get screamed at by you rightfully angry, bitter customers because the only thing we can do is send your customer service reps a message rather then look into the account and tell the poor people if and when their stuff (that they've already been charged for) is going to show up and cancel any orders they wish.
Because in NYC, $9 an hour is not enough to have to deal with people screaming and ranting at me, and me not being able to say "I don't work for the fucking company! I'm in an answering service 3000 miles away! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!"
Fuck you, fuck you hard.
Pixagi.
Now, you, [Fountain factory in China], try actually putting everything the customer needs in the box, and make the parts available at stores, because waiting 4-6 weeks (after 1-3 weeks for someone to actually SHIP the order) is just insane.
And you other clients? Do not tell me that I'm supposed to act as an employee for your company, and then not give me the info that any shmuck in your company would have. Like, you know, the address of your office.
Just a thought...
And people, when I answer "Dr. Kevorkian's Answering Service" do not, DO NOT, ask me "Is this the answering service?"
... No, it's the bloody Taj Mahal.
And you, woman, who called one of the colleges we have an account with, I told you I don't work for the college, that I'm not in the office, and that my info was limited, but that I could transfer you to someone who knew more AFTER trying to dig up the info you were looking for.
What did you do?
You swore I was lying and threatened to have me fired from the university.
You know, the one I don't work for.
Genius
Now, callers for the Porn Site. I am not a prude, and I'm not easily squicked, however, I do NOT need to be told in extreme, awesome detail about your sex life and kinks. Just tell me the name of the DVD or Toy your looking for, place your order, and lets be done with it. But PLEASE stop telling me the exact reason you're buying Cum All Over My Face. Please.
I hate you.
I hate the way you treat your customers.
I hate the fact that you refuse to give us operators who's time you're paying exuberantly for the resources to further help your customers, because even if you're paying out the ass, none of use are getting paid enough to have to get screamed at by you rightfully angry, bitter customers because the only thing we can do is send your customer service reps a message rather then look into the account and tell the poor people if and when their stuff (that they've already been charged for) is going to show up and cancel any orders they wish.
Because in NYC, $9 an hour is not enough to have to deal with people screaming and ranting at me, and me not being able to say "I don't work for the fucking company! I'm in an answering service 3000 miles away! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!"
Fuck you, fuck you hard.
Pixagi.
Now, you, [Fountain factory in China], try actually putting everything the customer needs in the box, and make the parts available at stores, because waiting 4-6 weeks (after 1-3 weeks for someone to actually SHIP the order) is just insane.
And you other clients? Do not tell me that I'm supposed to act as an employee for your company, and then not give me the info that any shmuck in your company would have. Like, you know, the address of your office.
Just a thought...
And people, when I answer "Dr. Kevorkian's Answering Service" do not, DO NOT, ask me "Is this the answering service?"
... No, it's the bloody Taj Mahal.
And you, woman, who called one of the colleges we have an account with, I told you I don't work for the college, that I'm not in the office, and that my info was limited, but that I could transfer you to someone who knew more AFTER trying to dig up the info you were looking for.
What did you do?
You swore I was lying and threatened to have me fired from the university.
You know, the one I don't work for.
Genius
Now, callers for the Porn Site. I am not a prude, and I'm not easily squicked, however, I do NOT need to be told in extreme, awesome detail about your sex life and kinks. Just tell me the name of the DVD or Toy your looking for, place your order, and lets be done with it. But PLEASE stop telling me the exact reason you're buying Cum All Over My Face. Please.
Oh, that's just wrong! I mean, I'm not a prude either - but you know, just by the title of the DVD I'm pretty sure what kind of behavior you enjoy or at least like watching. 
For some reason, that line was just the one to do it, lol.
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