I am not honey, sweetie, babydoll!

[Pagan]

I've noticed in the last week or so, a lot, and I mean a lot, of people calling me "honey" or "sweetie". And it's being said in a condescending way on top of it. It's just something that really irks me. I'm sorry, but you random strangers don't know me that well to be addressing me in this manner! Not to mention that I'm 38 years old and some of these people using these terms are younger than me. To me it's just a lack of manners.

Or am I being too sensitive?

[rerant]

I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. When people I don't know call me by any of those names it gets on my nerves as well.
There's something so snotty about it sometimes.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Do it back.

Even if they are a customer. What are they going to do, complain that you treated them the exact way they treated you?

Guy in Kinko's head nearly exploded when I started doing it to him. And yes, he was doing it to be a prick, not because he was just old and folksie. He was a young, lawyer wannabee type, and he was making sure I knew my place.

So I made sure he knew his. He didn't like it much. His face turned a very interesting shade of purple. But he stood and took it, and didn't say anything about it. Which I guess is a point in his favor.

[Geek King]

I find calling people "Snookums" just like some little old lady talking to her poodle makes the proper point.

[ebonyknight]

I've noticed in the last week or so, a lot, and I mean a lot, of people calling me "honey" or "sweetie".
Or am I being too sensitive?

I think it has something to do with the "sweetie" comment that Obama made last week. The right is making it sound like he made a sexist epitaph and I think people are either doing a purposeful protest, have a bad sense of humor or are sub-consciously doing it.

Then again, maybe it's just coincidence.

[Anthony K. S.]

Oh, I absolutely loathe this sort of thing.

Like many people who work in retail, I hate it when customers read my nametag and call me by my first name.

But I hate it even more when they call me names like "dear," "honey," or "sweetie."

It would be different if it was a friend of mine, a relative, or somebody I know outside of work . . . or, at the very least, somebody I like . . . But it's extremely rude and intrusive to address strangers in this manner.


Interestingly enough, though, the worst example I have of this actually occurred when I was a customer. A cashier in a drugstore had just finished ringing me up, and as she handed me my bag, she said, "Here you go, my love."



Maybe it's just me, but I find it really creepy when a total stranger addresses me as "my love."

I don't think you're being sensitive at all, Pagan. I really hate this sort of thing, too, and I know plenty of other people who do as well.

[marty]

I always get it from the men in their (my guess) forties with kids in tow. It creeps me the hell out when someone calls me "baby" who's the same age as my mom. In my opinion, completely inappropriate.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I dunno, down here in the south, it's pretty widespread, and nothing bad is usually meant by it. It's just that a lot of people have a folksy way of speaking, and a familiarity with strangers that has more to do with regional attitude than anything else.

I don't know what it's like in your area, but down here, I we kind of have to take a lot into account before getting offended at that.

Most people dont' mean to offend. I got called "sweetie" or "honey" quite a bit as a waitress and as a kinkoid, by customers. Heck, down here, you go into a mom and pop diner, you are GOING to get called "sweetie" by a waitress. It's just a fact of life. It was rarely meant, or taken, with offense. In the case I cited, the guy was trying to offend, and he succeeded. Context is everything.

I guess you just have to gauge how it was meant. At least that's how it is down here.

[Mamadrae]

I'm thankfully everyday for my Grandmother. She was raised during WW2 and you did not do that back then. So we were raised the same way and if you crossed her you got the yardstick.

Because of this I always say Miss or Ma'am or Sir depending on the person. Mothers are usually Ma'am as are business women while college girls and high schoolers are Miss.

Worst case of this while I was working though...oh dear god it made me cry....

I don't know if this lady couldn't read my nametag or what but she insisted on calling me Mary. She was regular to. I never corrected her on it till her son (who happen to go to my school and saw my picture) finally corrected her. Showed her the picture and everything. She felt so stupid but I told her not to worry about it as I'd never bothered to correct her.

[JoitheArtist]

Depends on the situation. I get called names like that a lot, but that's because all my customers are women over 50, and most of the ones who talk like that are in the South, and that's just how it is there. I normally don't mind, unless the person is being condescending.

[Emrld]

Honey, Dear, Sweetie, Sugar are used regularly in the South. The are not intended to be derogetory . . .more of a friendly . . .welcome . . . greeting.

I was also raised to use, Ma'am, Miss etc. I was mortified when I was about 15 in an upscale store and said - "Excuse me Ma'am" to the clerk who had her back to me at the registar.
She went off . . . asked why in the world I thought she was a Ma'am, she wasn't old enough to be a Ma'am, did I have hidden meaning to it . . .(she and I were of a different skin color) I ended up leaving the store in tears. I talked to my Parents about it and they called and complained on my behalf. Ends up the clerk was turning omg shock of it all 30 soon and was having issues dealing with it.


As for the name tag. Personally I like it when people call me by my first name.
I do not understand not wanting to be called by my name. Especially with options like finger snapping, hey you, and other ways to get attention that imply you are not an equal and may not even be equal to a pet.
With that being said for those of you that don't like strangers addressing you by your first name. . .have you checked with your store to see if you can have "Miss, Mrs, Mr . your last name" on your name tag?
Also, please inform me what you would like customers to address you as if it isn't your first name.

[going gaga]

Not sure if your being overly sensitive, depends on how they say it.
If it's in a condescending tone like you say, and you think they're taking the micky, your not being overly sensitive.
Most of the times I get called pet names(sweetie, pet, honey, love, duck, kiddo) it isn't meant in as derogatory term, just a friendly way of addressing a staff member.

Though like JoitheArtist most of my customers are rich in years (and can't read my badge or they just don't notice it which I'm fine with since it's on my chest and I'd rather not have people staring at it)

But anyone if calls me baby they're going to be looking for there head, that one I do find insulting.

[Anthony K. S.]

Also, please inform me what you would like customers to address you as if it isn't your first name.

Example # 1 :

[A customer walks up to the cash register with a purchase.]

Cashier : Hello.
Customer : Hi.

[Cashier scans the items.]

Cashier : That'll be $XX.XX.
Customer : Okay.

[Customer pays. Cashier bags up the items and hands the bag to the customer.]

Cashier : There you go. Have a nice day.
Customer : Thank you.

[Customer leaves.]


Example # 2 :

[Customer walks up to the service desk.]

Employee : Hello. Can I help you?
Customer : I'm looking for a book called [Insert Title].
Employee : Okay, just a second . . . We might have that. Could you come with me, please?

[Employee walks the customer to the section, finds the book, and hands it to the customer.]

Customer : Great, thank you.
Employee : You're welcome. Have a nice day.
Customer : You, too.

[Customer leaves.]


Example # 3 :

[Customer spots a nearby employee.]

Customer : Excuse me. Can you help me?
Employee : Sure. What do you need?
Customer : I'm looking for . . .


Now, the question . . .

Emrld, why exactly is it necessary for the customer to address the employee as anything?

[Emrld]

Ok- I did ask for clarification, on how to address in some fashion.
I did not ever state it was necessary to do so. It does happen to be my preferance to address people by their name. So I would like to understand the other side to help myself become a more rounded thinker.

Addressing a person by using their proper name . . .or what they like to be called is a way to show respect to the other person. It shows that you recognize that they are a human and an equal.

True your examples are polite. They do not show either person addressing the other. Basically it is jump right into converstaion do business and walk away. While that is considered acceptable it misses a lot of the human contact. (and yes, sometimes that is exatly what happens in my everday life . . .I don't get upset or annoyed over it)

[Stryker One]

I guess it's better than: "Hey! You! Carbon Unit!"