Yup, Tarot Readers get Stupid Customers too

[NateTheChops]

When the warmer weather came around I decided to get a performer's liscence to do tarot readings on Church Street.

Church Street is the business center for Burlington and in the summer it's the second busiest spot next to the Waterfront. I can only take donations while I'm a performer, but I've made enough to pay a few utility bills and to actually have a bit more spending money that I don't have to take out of my regular earnings at Rank Aid.

But like with all great services, being a tarot reader draws some pretty sucky customers. For example:

Drunk, High, and generally disruptive

I was reading for these two girls late on evening when this guy walks up to the table. He's wearing a Guiness banner like a cape and he's drinking from a styrofoam cup and smoking god only knows what.

I'm trying to ignore him and focus on the girls but he keeps getting near the table.
Finally I pause and ask him to leave.

Me
DrunkMan

Me: Sir, I'm in the middle of a reading, could you please step away.
DM: You want to take a drink of this? (He starts to shove the cup in my face.
Me: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave before I call the police.
DM: I know you from Jail, we spent the night together.

At this point it's clear this guy isn't on the same planet as the rest of us so fearing for the girls safety I apologize and ask them to leave. The guy lingers while I pack up my table and cards.

DM: Go ahead and call the police. You're the freak.

Yeah. Pots and kettles buddy.

A couple weeks later this woman sits down and keeps taking a swig from a tiny bottle that I'm pretty sure is alcohol. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and start to read her. She keeps grabbing my cards and playing with them until I finally tell her to leave.

And to cap off the disruptive behavior aspect of this section, I get a guy who approaches my table. He's not drunk as such but he is pretty burly and walks around like I should be intimidated.

Me
Prick

Prick: I don't fucking believe in Tarot readings. Why don't you tell me how much money I'm going to make.

I decide to just lay the cards out and see what happens. I knew he wasn't going to give me anything, but I didn't want any other potential customers to see that he was disrupting me.

Me: Well sir, it's not how it works. I can only tell you what the cards are telling you.
Prick: (in a condescending tone) I don't want to know what the cards are telling me. I want to know what my future is.
Me: It's you walking away from this table. I don't like your attitude.
Prick: Well I don't like the way you read tarot cards.

I had to take a week or two off before I could go back out there again.

[NateTheChops]

Part Two

Annoying Kids.

I love kids. Don't get me wrong. But I make it really clear to teenagers that I can't do readings for them unless they're 18 or over, or have an adult guardian present who can give them permission. It's a no brainer, I don't want to get sued or charged with anything.

For the most part the kids who I've read for have been very polite and very attentive. Some of them just ask me what I'm doing and I explain it to them as simply as I can. But like with all areas related to any kind of customer service there are the really annoying ones. Some go a little beyond annoying.

These two boys approach me. They could have easily been 18 at least. I don't check ID's, I just ask their age to cover myself. It's not something I'm required to do and I'm in a public area where no one can accuse me of anything, but again, I like to protect myself just in case.

Boy 1
Boy 2
Me-the man suffering for his craft.

B1 sits in thie chair and B2 sits on his lap.

B1: We're lovers. Can you do a reading for us.

It was obvious they were fooling around with me and when I suddenly found myself surrounded by a dozen or so kids I realized this was some day camp trip. I politely asked them to leave.

Labor Day, after work, I thought I'd see if I could make a little extra cash. I was set up near a resturaunt with out door seating. This little kid, about four years old was playing on the rock near my table and periodically running back to the seating area where his parents were. Then he walks over to my table and sits down.

Kid
Me

Kid: do you want to play flapjack.
Me: (shuffling the cards) Uh..not right now.
Kid: You're holding the cards wrong. You have to hold them like this.

He takes two of my cards and shows me how to hold them for playing. I just give a kind of half smile as I'm keeping an eye out for Chris Hansen's film crew)

Me: (Gently taking the cards from him) Wow, is that how you do it? I've learned something new. Cool.

This goes on for a bit. He runs back to his parents, comes back, shows me his cars, etc. All in all there was nothing harmful in the whole transaction and I think some passerby even thought it was cute. But finally I decided to pack up and leave for the evening before I wound up on an episode of Dateline. The lesson here endeth, I'm not a babysitter people. And on this street I'd be just a little more careful with who you allow your child to run up to.

Last but not least:

The Chatters

I can't charge them by the minute. I can't be rude and tell them to leave. But every so often someone will tell me their life story after doing a reading for them. And they don't even tip me.

Nothing truly memorable there but I just wanted to mention it.

So you see, they're everywhere. No matter what you do to earn just a little extra cash, you will attract stupid customers.

[friendofjimmyk]

The chatters...

I can see how what you do would open a floodgate for these types. The types who really need a counselor but can't afford it or don't actually think they need a counselor. These are the types that will tell their entire life story to complete strangers at the most inappropriate times.

We have one of those here at work. I've known quite a few over the course of my life - these people are constantly play the victim or are so in desparate need of attention - they'll try to get it from anyone who is unfortunate enough to be kind to them.

I'd put up rates for counseling...well, no ...that would be illegal....you need a license in most states to be a therapist.

[bainsidhe]

I certainly appreciate your concerns and especially your consideration towards children. I also find it very sad that our world has come to this

I wish you the best of luck with your readings and earning of tips. Can't be easy doing it, but it sure sounds cool

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Believe me I feel your pain. I'm a fortuneteller, too. Cards and tea leaves.

Having a bouncer or two helps. When I do it seriously, I take care to set up a frankly intimidating environment. The fact that I usually work in tandem with others helps. A little fear, in addition to helping create a good work enviroment for us, goes a long way to keeping people in line. Before anyone berates me for deliberately intimidating people, consider this: People like to be scared. They wouldn't come to see me if they didn't, in many cases. You can tell a lot about a person when they are nervous, so that's good, too. And, most importantly, it takes very little to keep an obnoxious person in line if they are at least considering that they might get roughed up by a pack of glowering, probably- armed thugs. Don't worry, I am actually very gentle with them and I would never take advantage. But woe to the guy who gets innappropriate with the dukkerers. All I have to do is make a subtle signal and the problem gets taken care of.

I rarely do it outside a "Renfaire" or SCA setting, unless I'm doing it in my own home. Been paid by various places (Barnes and Noble, parties, etc.), to do special events, but they have their own security, so again, it's a safe enviroment.

You can also always refuse to do a reading. I work sometimes with a palmist who has admitted to being repulsed by some people's hands. Just a bad feeling, I guess, she didn't want to be around them. As you know, there's a certain level of intimacy with your clients with dukkering, and some people you just don't want to be around much. My friend has simply said things like "I'm sorry...I can't read your palm now." and made herself scarce. I dont have to touch my clients, so I just give them enough of a reading to satisfy them so they will leave. They won't stick around if you are boring and make them uncomfortable.

[PepperElf]

She keeps grabbing my cards and playing with them until I finally tell her to leave.

bleh. the wiccans i know are very particular about that. plus it's just rude anyway.

and oy... i can see where the palmist is coming from. i've seen a few hands i wouldn't want to touch either.

[NateTheChops]

Believe me I feel your pain. I'm a fortuneteller, too. Cards and tea leaves.

Having a bouncer or two helps. When I do it seriously, I take care to set up a frankly intimidating environment. The fact that I usually work in tandem with others helps. A little fear, in addition to helping create a good work enviroment for us, goes a long way to keeping people in line. Before anyone berates me for deliberately intimidating people, consider this: People like to be scared. They wouldn't come to see me if they didn't, in many cases. You can tell a lot about a person when they are nervous, so that's good, too. And, most importantly, it takes very little to keep an obnoxious person in line if they are at least considering that they might get roughed up by a pack of glowering, probably- armed thugs. Don't worry, I am actually very gentle with them and I would never take advantage. But woe to the guy who gets innappropriate with the dukkerers. All I have to do is make a subtle signal and the problem gets taken care of.

I rarely do it outside a "Renfaire" or SCA setting, unless I'm doing it in my own home. Been paid by various places (Barnes and Noble, parties, etc.), to do special events, but they have their own security, so again, it's a safe enviroment.

You can also always refuse to do a reading. I work sometimes with a palmist who has admitted to being repulsed by some people's hands. Just a bad feeling, I guess, she didn't want to be around them. As you know, there's a certain level of intimacy with your clients with dukkering, and some people you just don't want to be around much. My friend has simply said things like "I'm sorry...I can't read your palm now." and made herself scarce. I dont have to touch my clients, so I just give them enough of a reading to satisfy them so they will leave. They won't stick around if you are boring and make them uncomfortable.

I'm working my way up to doing it as a full profession. Right now my goal is getting my name out there and during my arthop event I'll be reading for art buyers as a way to enhance my artwork.

The guys at the recording studio even want to do "experimental recordings" whatever that means. Hopefully I won't disappoint them.