Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why I Hate Weddings (long)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Why I Hate Weddings (long)

    Last week, my quartet got a gig playing a wedding at the swanky estate of one of the richest families in the area.

    People, you should have seen this place! I don't know how large the grounds were, but it looked to be the size of most entire subdivisions. Park-like grounds, immaculately maintained by full-time professional groundskeepers, private lake, beautiful mansion straight out of a movie set, woods, trails, guest cottages, and so on. In short, these were incredibly wealthy people we're talking about.

    And they were throwing an incredibly expensive wedding, too. Immense reception tent for at least a couple of hundred guests, live big band for dancing later, centerpieces, uber-gourmet catering, two full bars...oh, you just had to be there! I don't want to even guess how much this was costing them.

    The point being, the amount of money our quartet was getting paid was just a tiny, tiny drop in a big, big bucket. This becomes significant later.

    Anyway, just because a wedding is mega-expensive is no guarantee that things won't go wrong. And pretty much everything did.

    The plan had been for the wedding to take place in a specially-built pavilion on the shore of the private lake, timed and placed perfectly so that the rays of the setting sun would shine on the bride and groom as they said their vows. It would have been beautiful, if the weather had cooperated.

    That was the first problem. The weather reports were full of warnings about approaching rain, so they changed the plan. The wedding would be moved inside the reception tent. This would have worked, except that nobody seems to have planned for this possibility. The tent had been decorated (beautifully!) with subdued, romantic mood lighting for the reception, which created a problem for us. There was no good lighting for us, which obviously made it difficult to see our music. There was still enough light coming from outside for us to kind of see, but then another problem arose.

    The bride was being dressed and made up off-site, and the plan was for her to arrive in a limo just in time for the wedding. But she was delayed. I never found out just what the problem was, but she didn't arrive until over half an hour after the wedding was supposed to be over. We agreed to stay later, for a modest extra fee of course. But the lighting issue was getting worse, since the sun was setting by then.

    Then there was another problem. It was a hot evening, and very humid (approaching rain, remember?). This has a bad effect on string instruments. It becomes impossible to keep them in tune for long, plus the humidity causes the hair in our bows to lose tension, making the tone suffer.

    Finally the bride arrived, and the wedding got under way. By the time the service was over, it was very dark where we were, plus we hadn't been able to tune up before playing the recessional. Somehow we managed to not sound like crap, but just to be able to see our music, we had to lean in close to the music stand, which is awkward.

    And right at that time, the wedding photographer decided it was time to take our picture. Because it was so dark, he was using a powerful flash. Do I need to describe what happened? There we are, trying to play in tune and with some kind of good tone, squinting in the darkness to see what it is we're supposed to be playing, then suddenly a brilliant flash bursts right in our eyes! Then another one, and another! So we were basically playing the recessional completely blind!

    Where's the SC in this, you're all wondering? Here it comes...

    As it was over and we were packing up, our leader walked over to collect our pay (we were getting paid extra for staying an hour late, remember). He came back looking pretty upset, and reported that the man he spoke to (I assume it was the father of the bride) made some snotty comment like, "Everyone just keeps coming around with their hands out."

    So, after all that, we get to end the gig by being treated as though we were one step above common panhandlers!

    So, that was my weekend. How was yours?
    "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
    "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
    --Dilbert

  • #2
    Oy, the entitlement. I particularly like the fact that it was never seriously considered that nature would not bow to the needs of the wedding and produce sun, since there was clearly no Plan B in place.

    Which string are you, if you don't mind my asking?

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm a professional musician too and this kind of thing really boils my blood. Many people seem to have this misconception that "music is easy, so you should do it for free!" They have no idea how much time and effort good music takes, and they're not willing to pay for the professional service we provide. Grrrr. Ok, getting off the soapbox now...
      "Thank God for the idiots: but for them, the rest of us could not succeed." ~Mark Twain

      Comment


      • #4
        I remember seeing things like this on Bridzillias, I think the band in that case was a marachie band and they finally had to call the families lawyer to try and get paid. Then when they finally were given a check it was for half of the agreed fee...all in all...pure entiltement whores on both well to do familes.

        Hope your ending of pay comes out better.

        Comment


        • #5
          Seriously??

          I could not even begin to imagine acting that way at my wedding. I did have it outdoors but we had everything planned out just in case the weather didn't pan out for us. And, novel as this concept may be, the day after I sent out gratuity checks to the DJ and photographer because they both did an excellent job. Sheesh...imagine that...paying someone for doing their job, and doing it well.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth been_there View Post
            Which string are you, if you don't mind my asking?
            Viola this time, but I play violin too.

            Quoth Aethian
            Hope your ending of pay comes out better.
            Oh, we got paid. It was just the attitude he gave about it.

            Quoth Starsong
            I'm a professional musician too and this kind of thing really boils my blood. Many people seem to have this misconception that "music is easy, so you should do it for free!" They have no idea how much time and effort good music takes, and they're not willing to pay for the professional service we provide.
            It's never happened to me, but one of my colleagues, a pianist, tells the story about how he was approached to perform at a wedding, and when he got to the part about his fee, the bride just looked stupid and said, "...your....fee???" Apparently, when her sister got married, their grandmother or aunt or something played the wedding for free as a wedding present, and somehow she got the idea that all musicians played weddings for free.

            Sometimes I need to remind myself why I ever thought music would be a rewarding career.
            "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
            "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
            --Dilbert

            Comment


            • #7
              I completely understand. I'm a musician too, and I did a local gig here as a favor for a community group. As a part of their deal with the church that let's them use rehearsal space, they are supposed to play a service twice a year. Well, their group is about 30 people, and they couldn't get enough to commit, so the conductor, myself and another local guy played a trio. They were to pay us as a group $100 since it was so last minute. This was, let's see... a year and a half ago? Haven't seen a cent. It's not that much money, but to quote SC's across the globe, "it's the principle of the thing."

              Oh, and they keep begging me to come play with them since one of their horn players quit. Yeah, I'll come when I get my $33.

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh Yes. Weddings and music. I *wish* his family would pony up

                1) my wedding- easy- my Godmother is also my church organist, and the choir has known me since I was a lump in Moms tummy, so that was all good and free.

                2) Oh Dear God Cousin #2's wedding. He sang to his bride. Help Me. Never sing on your wedding day, not with a mike, at any rate.

                3) Cousin #4's wedding. I wish she had asked me to play- the family forgets. that alleged pianist made every mistake in the book.

                I missed cousin 3;s wedding, and Cousin #2 second wedding was musician free. Cousin #4's second wedding had local talent- not bad, but.....

                then this last one.

                4) Cousin 11. She hired a quartet. Only one made it on time (the rest were almost 2 hours late). It's one thing to play vln 1 solo on quartet music- usually you're ok. Sadly he chose to go with Pachelbel's Cannon. Pachelbel's Cannon for Solo Violin is the auditory equivalent of an Afghan hound with a bad case of mange left in the rain. The rest of the group did finally arrive and played part of the reception. Ahem. I played better in high school. I played better ensemble in high school. Once again, not actively bad, but just not good.

                I feel ya. This is part of the reason I am not a professional musician.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Uh, doesn't that guy know that everyone expects the rest of their money after they are done? At my wedding we seriously had everyone's checks all done and in envelopes marked flowers, cake, catering, dj, etc etc. My husband handed them over as everyone got there and tips were given in cash depending on how good things went. Like my cake lady went the extra mile to get me the cake I wanted, hence a big tip for her.

                  At our wedding we had the DJ handle everything musically, though I had it all plotted since I'm a music addict. For the ceremony I handed over a cd with the music we wanted in order. It helped considering the tune I wanted my bridesmaid walking to isn't available in the US. At the reception we just had a list of things not to be played and that was it.

                  The problem came when the DJ's stuff exploded on him. Shocked us but we didn't throw a fit cause the party was grinding to a halt anyways due to a nasty snowstorm coming in. People were leaving to not get caught in the ick.

                  We thought it sweet of the DJ when he offered a full refund. He honestly felt bad and thought his stuff blowing up ended our reception early. Instead we ordered him to keep it. We were happy and no one was complaining so why the refund?

                  He still sent us half of it back afterwards. Stubborn man.
                  "It's not what your doing so much as the idiotic way your doing it." Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy 7.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I used to play cello. I miss it quite a bit somedays.

                    I also got married in January, so I knew the weather wouldn't be cooperating with us. Although it was warm for that time of year on our wedding day. Too bad the warmth brought drizzly rain and we couldn't get outdoor pictures, but oh well.

                    And for the record, Pachelbel's Cannon sucks to play no matter what instrument you use. This video always makes me laugh:
                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
                    Last edited by jedimaster91; 09-23-2008, 10:49 PM.
                    I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth jedimaster91 View Post

                      And for the record, Pachelbel's Cannon sucks to play no matter what instrument you use. This video always makes me laugh:
                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
                      Yeah, it just tends to suck more if you play cello, as you do, or tuba, as I do.
                      MySpace

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth freaktard View Post
                        Last week, my quartet got a gig playing a wedding at the swanky estate of one of the richest families in the area.

                        People, you should have seen this place! I don't know how large the grounds were, but it looked to be the size of most entire subdivisions. Park-like grounds, immaculately maintained by full-time professional groundskeepers, private lake, beautiful mansion straight out of a movie set, woods, trails, guest cottages, and so on. In short, these were incredibly wealthy people we're talking about.

                        And they were throwing an incredibly expensive wedding, too. Immense reception tent for at least a couple of hundred guests, live big band for dancing later, centerpieces, uber-gourmet catering, two full bars...oh, you just had to be there! I don't want to even guess how much this was costing them.
                        They'll be divorced within 2 years.

                        Marriage is about a LIFETIME, not a single DAY.
                        ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth freaktard View Post
                          Sometimes I need to remind myself why I ever thought music would be a rewarding career.
                          I ask myself that question fairly often too!
                          "Thank God for the idiots: but for them, the rest of us could not succeed." ~Mark Twain

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Bitchin' Time

                            Maybe I'm not looking at this from the same perspective as most others would, but...

                            I think the music is probably the lynchpin in the scheme for a well-executed (pun definitely intended) wedding. If anyone deserves a bonus, it's the musicians. They practice for years-- unpaid-- and more time beyond that for which they are compensated is always involved. Musicians, like teachers, are supposed to accept poverty as part and parcel for being "allowed" to perform what, of course, is a labor of love.

                            F--- that shit!!
                            "It's not me that you hate; it's those nasty truths I serve up. Hey, man, I'm just honesty's vessel!" --Me

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Mamadrae View Post
                              Uh, doesn't that guy know that everyone expects the rest of their money after they are done? At my wedding we seriously had everyone's checks all done and in envelopes marked flowers, cake, catering, dj, etc etc. My husband handed them over as everyone got there and tips were given in cash depending on how good things went. Like my cake lady went the extra mile to get me the cake I wanted, hence a big tip for her.

                              At our wedding we had the DJ handle everything musically, though I had it all plotted since I'm a music addict. For the ceremony I handed over a cd with the music we wanted in order.
                              My wife and I did something like that for our wedding. The photographer and officiator were the only suppliers (for want of a better term) who were not paid in advance. I had the officiator's payment in my coat pocket and paid before the ceremony. We paid the photographer when we finalized the shots for our album.
                              I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                              Who is John Galt?
                              -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X