I don't work here, and bonus stories

[Mytical]

((Warning: Very Long)) Back Ground

One reason I avoid the local Wally World like a zombie infested, plague ridden, place is that I use to work there. Six or more years ago. Some SC's, EW's, and Ex-Co irkers have long long memories however. The only thing that lures me there anymore is electronics, since every where else in this town charges about twice as much, but oh how I loathe going there for even that.

However, my mother had seen some movies there that I know were not available in the few other places that carry movies. She is a WWE wrestling fanatic. For Christmas, I decided to get her those movies. So..it was off to Wally World (oh why oh why did I not just order them online?). I went right after work, with my work clothes on. Note my work clothing is a white dress shirt, and black dress pants.

I don't work here
During my stint at Wally World we had a regular I'll call 'Charlie'. Charlie was a chronic drunk, and you normally could smell him before you saw him. He was a nice guy, but you just didn't really want to remain around him for any real length of time.

C - Charlie
Me - Me
M - Manager

As soon as I walked through the door, the scent I can still remember after six years assaulted my nose. Sure enough it was 'Charlie'. "You gotta help me. The lines are way too long, and all I have is this bag of dogfood!"

Me - "Charlie, I don't work here. Havn't for six years! Go to the service desk, they usually help you out up there!"

C - "No..YOU have to do it, they are all busy!"

Me - "Charlie, I can't do it .. at all. I do not work here."

C - "Yes you do, you always helped me before! Now come on, lets go to the service desk and you can ring me out."

We argued back and forth and one of the managers actually noticed and come over.

C - "Mytical is being really unhelpful, I know he works here, tell him to ring me up!"

I explain to the manager, who actually understands I don't work there, and she tries to talk sense into Charlie.

M - "Charlie, Mytical hasn't worked here in a long time, let me take you to the service desk and I will ring you out."

C - "No I know Mytical works here, he helps me all the time! Why are you two lying to me!"

M - "Charlie, lets just go to the service desk, I will ring you out, and you can be on your way."

C - ((Yelling)) "Stop lying to me! Mytical has always worked here! I want Mytical to ring me out!"

M - "Charlie, calm down or I will have to ask you to leave." Looking at me with those 'oh no not again' looks that I used to get when dealing with Charlie.

Before either of us could think of a way to handle this Charlie screams "FINE if he doesn't want to help me, I don't want this! I'll never shop here again!" he shoves the cart into me (luckily he is a thin frail man so it wasn't THAT painful), and storms out the door.

The manger looks at me "Oh! Are you ok! I am so sorry about that!" trying to make sure I am not injured.

I assure them I am fine, the guy weighs maybe 90 lbs soaking wet, of which probably 25% is made up of alcohol (), he doesn't have the oomph to hurt me with the cart.

Manager offers me one of those push carts, a gift card, and basically does tries to make sure everything is ok. I finally convince them that I am not going to hold Wally World responsible for an SC. They say that if there is anything they can do while I am here, just to let them know, and give me a name to ask for. I was honestly impressed at how they handled the situation.

If that was the end of my experience, I probably wouldn't have bothered to make this post. Oh no, the fun of this trip was just beginning. As with most Wally Wolrds, the Electronics is in the back. You have to go through several things to reach it. However, since I was there, decided to do a bit of grocery shopping. Yes I guess I was feeling like a glutton for punishment that day.

"Clean up in Isle 5!"
You know those cans of Pringles? Well I turned the corner to the chip isle, just to have one whiz by my head. Two lovely little children were on the opposite ends of the isle, tossing them back and forth like footballs. Several cans were laying on the ground, one or two were even busted open, chips strewn everywhere. No parents in site, of course, and no workers nearby. Oh joy. The kids were maybe 8 or so, if I had to guess.

So I gave them the look, and used the voice to say "HEY!", they took off like a shot. Not wanting to chase them down, I just found an employee, let them know what I had seen..and that they needed to clean up the chip isle.

Since I never actually wanted any chips (I tend to go isle by isle even if there is nothing in that isle I want) I continued to get a few groceries.

That is MY milk! Silly me, I forgot where I was shopping, I really should have went straight to electronics. Go into the dairy isle, and see the two lovely little kiddies with two full grown females. The females are having a tug of war with a gallon of milk. Now mind you, there are a lot of other gallons right there, no clue what made this one the holy grail of milks, but they were not about to let it go.

M - Me .. as always
F1 - The first female
F2 - The second Female

F1 - "Let go you COW, I got this milk first! Get your own."
F2 - "Who you calling a CoW you heffer?! I reached for this milk first, you get another!"
F1 - "Let GO!" tugs on cartoon
F2 - "No you let GO!" tugs on cartoon
M - "Wow, I see where the children learned their manners. You two are really arguing over a gallon of milk when there are over 50 left? Really?"
F1 & F2 (in stereo) - "Stay out of this, this is between us!"
M - "No seriously. See right there. Lots of milk left." points to the gallons apon gallons of milk less then a foot away.
F1 - "This one is the last of the ones that expire on (I forget the date sorry)!"
F2 - "I got this one first!"
M - "No .. really. See right here, and right there. Both expire on 'date'."
F1 and F2 give me the catbuttface, but apparently decide that they are being SC's and F1 grab one of the ones I pointed out.
F1 - "You didn't have to be such an *** about it."
Was she talking to F2? Oh no..directed right at me.
M - *Shrugs* "Gee sorry to interrupt your tug of war." *goes back to shopping*

Lupo..did you really have to send the horrid shopping fairy to me? Why oh why? What did I do to you?!

But wait..there is more!

The Slip Sliding Blues As I finally neared the electronics section, I noticed a sigh that says "Slippery when wet." I also notice somebody standing near it looking both ways. I guess they didn't see me, because they carefully move the sign into the clothing area, so that it couldn't be seen..and I am sure you know what came next.

They casually walk into the area that it was first in..and fall. Not a real fall, an obviously fake fall. They must not be really GOOD at this, ie not practiced a lot. They start to do the "Oh ow! Somebody help me!" routine. Somebody from electronics hears them, and comes over to help. They are genuinely concerned for the person, not having seen what I did.

When the manager finally arrives, before they do anything I pull them aside. "Hey, I worked in security here..tell your LP people to check the tapes very thoroughly." I tell him exactly what I witnessed, gave the manager my complete address, phone number, name .. the works. "If you need a witness, just let me know.'

I didn't stick around to hear what happened after, but for some reason I think that there will be no lawsuit against Wally World, the guy saw me talking to the manager, and I think he realized I had seen everything. If he doesn't press the suit, I doubt Wally World will press charges for fraud.

But wait..there is more! Act now and get the Bonus story for absolutely free!

Bonus Story
I was loading up my vehicle when another car passed, and out of the passenger side window comes an arm..with a cup. Yep, the not only dumped the contents, but the cup as well. Just threw it out the window, in broad daylight. I tried to get the plates, but had nothing to write them down with.

Not as bad a day as some have had, but just more reasons I do not like shopping at Wally World.

[LingualMonkey]

Actually, that experience sounds just about right for W*Mart. I go only when threatened at gunpoint.

[Food Lady]

Really? I read on here all the time that Malwart is a bad place to shop, yet I've never seen anything like this, nor ever had a bad experience. Tar-jhay, on the other hand....

[Mytical]

Doh, this is a sightings. Lol been a long day. Will ask a moderator to move it.

[MadMike]

Me - "Charlie, I can't do it .. at all. I do not work here."

C - "Yes you do, you always helped me before! Now come on, lets go to the service desk and you can ring me out."

That sounds a lot like a guy I knew from college. He didn't go there, but he briefly dated this girl I went there with. He was friendly enough, but he had this creepy vibe about him. I think he was on something. I would later find out he apparently had no short-term memory. Not that I do, of course, but I at least have some sort of sense of time. Every time he'd run into me, he'd ask, "Are you still going to (college I attended)?", even years later. I think the last time I saw him was shortly after my son was born, and I happened to run into him at a local supermarket. I had graduated from there five years prior, and yes, he still asked me that.

They casually walk into the area that it was first in..and fall. Not a real fall, an obviously fake fall.

One of our extremely lazy cashiers pulled something like that. She faked a fall in the dairy cooler and tried to sue the store. I don't think she got anything of it, but she did get three months off work. When she came back, she used her fake injury to justify her laziness. If anyone asked her to do anything, she'd complain that her back was hurting. And since the company was afraid of being sued again, no one did anything about it.

Naturally, the rest of us weren't exactly nice to her. On top of being lazy, she also had a reputation for being a slut, and rumor had it she was getting it on the with truck drivers who delivered to our store. In fact, she had a nickanme consisting of two words, the first being "Trucker", and the second rhyming with the first.

I never put too much stock into rumors, so I can't comment one way or another. But I remember some of the graffitti I saw on the walls. "My back hurts, I can't work, but that's OK I don't do anything but unload the truck drivers anyway." Or, a variation of that, "Oh my back hurts, those truck drivers drive soooo hard!"

[ShinyGreenApple]

Ah, a typical day at work. If one works at Volde-Mart, one has to learn to see these things as a form of excellent entertainment, or we'd all go mad. See though, if I'd seen the milk fight, I would have just sat it out to see if a gallon of milk ended up flying halfway across dairy. But I'm a sadist like that.

[Eisa]

With the milk fight...am I the only one who would have been tempted to yell, "Let's get ready to RUUUUMMMBBBLLLEEEE!"

[chainedbarista]

dammit, eisa; i was eating when i read that!

seriously; that kind of behavior (and seeing employees that look like whipped dogs) is one of the many reasons i try to avoid the mart of hell.

sadly, it seems that the bullseye is starting to head that way as well.

fighting over a gallon of milk; must be repeats for soaps and jerry springer at home.

[Pagan]

Actually, that experience sounds just about right for W*Mart. I go only when threatened at gunpoint.

I had some bitch try to run me over in the crosswalk there yesterday.

She had come flying around the corner from an aisle, saw me and never really stopped. Did that creeping and engine revving thing. When you have a car creeping on you like that, it's kind of natural to look at the car with a "what the hell?" look.

Then she decided that she needed to bitch at me for being there. I yelled back at her that she's supposed to stop for people in the crosswalk, especially seeing as there was a family walking across right behind me.

[lupo pazzesco]

Lupo..did you really have to send the horrid shopping fairy to me? Why oh why? What did I do to you?!

...

Am I going to be blamed everytime someone has a grocery sighting now...? Really??


And it's not like I have control over the blasted fairy. If I did, I'd send it to the depths of the ocean and watch it drown. Just saying...

[LingualMonkey]

Wal-Mart was where I almost ran over a two-year-old in the parking lot. Allow me to explain.

I'd been given a WM giftcard, so I went to spend it. It was 8:30 or so at night, and late winter, so it was pretty dark out. I pulled into the parking lot and was looking for a space when I saw a family walking out across the lot. Naturally (and fortunately, as it turns out), I slowed down.

This pissed me off--the family is walking towards their car with a cart loaded with crap. Walking behind the rest of the family is an unattended little kid. Two at the most, probably a little younger. Still walked in that halting, little kid way, and had on a big coat and wasn't quite strong enough to put the arms down, sort of like the kid in A Christmas Story. Mom and dad are busy pushing the cart and so obviously don't have a hand free to hold the little kid's hand as they walk across a f*(&ing busy parking lot at night. Kid is toddling along, trying to keep up, and not once did either parent look back to see if the kid was following, keeping up, or being run over the top of by people looking for parking spots instead of for pedestrians.

Only at Wal-Mart.

[PepperElf]

i'm kinda surprised that didn't happen to me yesterday.

i have a workshirt now and stopped off at the store to get a refill card for my phone. had to go to 3 stores until i found it (wegmans, price chopper, and rite aid). i guess i was lucky - no one accosted me thinking i was an employee... (o wait i had my purse. maybe that was a factor?)

[Darkforge]

...

Am I going to be blamed everytime someone has a grocery sighting now...? Really??


And it's not like I have control over the blasted fairy. If I did, I'd send it to the depths of the ocean and watch it drown. Just saying...

hmmn, maybe we catch the fairies attention if we find one of your stories amusing. I now dread going to the store as reading your shopping threads is one my guilty pleasures.

[Mytical]

Was just teasing Lupo . Nah, I should know better the to step foot in that place. They don't like me because I used to work there.