Why is it so hard to find dedicated, serious role players?

[MaggieTheCat]

My husband and I play Pathfinder (a variant of D&D) every Sunday afternoon. We have 5 members in our group and we've had many, over the last few years, come and go and never stick around. People who we find through role playing meetup websites/message boards, or ads on the local gaming shop's bulletin board, so you'd think these people would actually want to role play.

Some of them I can understand, as they got new jobs and their hours got wonky and they just couldn't make it when we normally play. But there's one girl who keeps insisting she wants to play and then never shows up (because she sleeps through our sessions...on Sunday afternoons...) and one guy who says he really wants to play but always has church things going on on Sundays. Look, we always play on Sundays. People know this when they find us/when we find them. We make it very clear: Sunday at noon. We never deviate from this. So why do you say you're interested if you can never show up?

One of our strongest members is moving in August, and one of our other members is not a strong role player and not very reliable himself (he always shows up late) which leaves us with a DM and 2 good players. So we'd really like 1-2 more people to fill in the group. I've resorted to posting blindly on a couple of gaming forums, hoping that someone will bite and we'll get lucky and they'll be responsible.

Anyone know someone in San Antonio who wants to play Pathfinder on Sunday afternoons?

[Crucible1]

Having an openess to how you roleplay might be a real fix for your group. I have been RPing with the same group for like 20 years now with an assortment of games. After Katrina hit my hometown, we got scattered the far corners of the US. We have started utilizing Skype with a mult video chat option that allows the players to be piped in for a face to face role playing experience. I know at first this sounds rather unlike old fashioned table top, but it does work trust me. Your friend that is moving away can still be a part of the entire experience with a little touch of technology. Hope this help some.

[Kogarashi]

You've got my sympathies. We have such trouble finding people we can regularly game with in our area (especially since we currently have 2.5 kids which kind of throws a wrench into scheduling), so our regular group is actually our old college group, despite being spread across five different states and three different time zones. We meet via Skype, and it's kind of sporadic which Friday nights we can get together because three of the other gamers are parents (one couple, one half of a couple whose SO isn't a regular gamer) and another tends to have other Friday night commitments.

[MaggieTheCat]

I thought about using Skype to keep the guy who's moving part of the group, but I don't think he's going to be able to continue role playing, regardless; he's moving to go to graduate school and is going to have very little free time. He's said that he wants to play as much as possible this summer since he's going to give up role playing until he finishes his degree.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I know what you mean Maggie!
My group just finished a game that had, in effect, gone on for 4 years. 4 years of 6 hours (minimum) a week roleplaying, frequently 8, for about a year 12+ (two sessions) up to 20 hours!; and somewhere near the middle-beginning, we did homework outside the game, ranging from 30 hours to 5 hours a week-- towards the end, we talked to the GM constantly (for about 7 months). This would not have been possible without computers, without the fact that the GM has a job that allows him time to think (way too much time, really, and Scott is fucking amazing anyway, he could probably still come up with this stuff doing trauma surgery, no joke)-- and we started the game over gmail chat. Only a few sessions have been in person with this particular game.
Someone pointed out we effectively have a degree in this game, calculating in all the time and effort.
And most of us were in school.
Granted, I'm not doing so hot, but the others have graduated just fine and managed to do other things like have a social life outside of gaming.
It's difficult to find anyone serious and dedicated, especially to Story. Try the English Department. You are looking for someone to act, basically. To get into the head of a person they make, and into a setting, and act. To be another person, in a way that regular acting just doesn't do (sometimes, from what I can tell).
Moving-away dude can do it. He just may not have a social life!

[draggar]

I wish I could find a group!

[ArcticChicken]

Our problem is finding people who want to roleplay, not play "tell me how I killed the monster funny".

My group usually has a few games going at one time, but recently we've had a problem where we all want my BF to be GM as he comes up with fantastic games. The only two characters I've ever had trouble getting out of character afterwards have been in games he ran. We recently finished a Star Wars game with one of those characters, and I had to go cry for about half an hour.

We're working on getting other people to run, and training me up to GM. Problem is that I got into roleplaying after they were already experienced, so I've been intimidated about trying to run, especially given how good some of the games I've been in have been. The thing I'm going to try now is running a very small game in a homebrew system (written mostly by my BF) so I don't have to worry as much about keeping track of all the rules, but I'm having trouble convincing myself that the story idea I had is worthwhile.

[MaggieTheCat]

I have come across some gamer couples that work really well, just as it sounds like Maggie and her hubby do. But they seem to be few and far between...and the girl is usually interested in gaming before the relationship solidifies anyway.

Yeah, I was playing D&D before my husband and I started dating. We work really well together and don't get upset if something happens to our character in-game due to the other person. He's GMing the current game we're playing and he nearly killed me twice the last time we played. I told him go for it, and I know he wasn't holding back.

Even though I myself am a female gamer, I usually dread role playing with other females 'cuz most of them are pretty bad. I've played with 6-8 other females over the last 8 or 10 years, and only 1 of them has been really good and wanted to be there because she wanted to play. The rest were just clinging to their significant other, which drives me MAD. A good female role player is a huge asset to a game...but one who's only there for her boyfriend is usually a major hindrance.

[ArcticChicken]

I have come across some gamer couples that work really well, just as it sounds like Maggie and her hubby do. But they seem to be few and far between...and the girl is usually interested in gaming before the relationship solidifies anyway.

I've actually never gamed with another girl. I'm not sure I know any girls who are at much into gaming. There're a bunch of girls in my LARP group, but as far as I can gather they don't do any roleplaying outside of that.

I actually met my BF (and the previous one) through my gaming group, although it's not so much my gaming group as it is the group of my best friends who I do pretty much everything with.

[Sapphire Silk]

Even though I myself am a female gamer, I usually dread role playing with other females 'cuz most of them are pretty bad. I've played with 6-8 other females over the last 8 or 10 years, and only 1 of them has been really good and wanted to be there because she wanted to play. The rest were just clinging to their significant other, which drives me MAD. A good female role player is a huge asset to a game...but one who's only there for her boyfriend is usually a major hindrance.

I've gamed with plenty of females over the years, and there have usually been at least one other than myself in most of the groups I've been in. One group was ALL females, excluding the GM.

In all fairness, male players who are just there for his girlfriend are just as much of a hindrance.

If I lived in San Antonio, I'd take you up for a game in a stone cold minute. My gaming has rather dried up lately

I've actually never gamed with another girl. I'm not sure I know any girls who are at much into gaming. There're a bunch of girls in my LARP group, but as far as I can gather they don't do any roleplaying outside of that.

I actually met my BF (and the previous one) through my gaming group, although it's not so much my gaming group as it is the group of my best friends who I do pretty much everything with.

Oh, I've gamed with LOTS of females. I've been gaming since I was 14, and I started my first gaming group and was the GM for many years before I finally joined the group I've been with for the past 15 years or so. Most of the girl gamers I've known were very serious role players, not there for the BF and not there for hack and slash.

I've written for the gaming industry, and a number of other female gamers have as well.

[ArcticChicken]

Oh, I've gamed with LOTS of females.

Oh, I know they exist, they just don't seem to be native to my current habitat.

I've written for the gaming industry, and a number of other female gamers have as well.

Written what, if you don't mind me asking?

[Sarlon]

I've been playing RPGS since I was 8.....nearly 20 years now.

I've had good DM's, I've had OMGINCREDIBLE DM's, I've had DM's that I made excuses to leave after the first 2 sessions.

I've also had DM's that are nothing but a contest to see how many bodies they can have piled up before the first break. (367 for the record)

the way *I* DM is I tend to give more XP for Roleplaying and thinking things through and trying to work things out, rather then go in and slaughter things needlessly.

for example....a group of 2nd level adventurers are told to find a lost dragon egg that had been taken by goblins....a rather LARGE encampment of goblins....easily over 2000 with women and children as well as warriors, shamans, etc. The guy they needed to get the egg from was smack in the middle of the encampment, about 50 feet underground.

Using diplomacy they mananged to get to the leader, get the egg, take out the body guard, and kill the leader with no other combat....and even got out of there alive with no combat.

[Kheldarson]

I'd take you up too, Maggie, if I were in the area. Kabe and I are trying to get our friends to be a steady RP group, but the one other girl has never RP'd so keeps overthinking and the two guys can't make a decision to save their lives (literally since we like Shadowrun).

So question for the other female gamers here, since I'm trying to expand my character repertoire right now: How many of you have played a male character and any advice?

[ArcticChicken]

So question for the other female gamers here, since I'm trying to expand my character repertoire right now: How many of you have played a male character and any advice?

I'm playing one male right now, but I don't have any specific advice for being male, I just knew he was male when I came up with the character. The thing that happens with all my best characters, male and female, is a fidget. Some thing that I hang the character on and use to get into role. Sometimes it's a specific motion, sometimes it's body language, with one it's an accent. The one universal constant with all my best characters, the ones I never have to stop and think "now what would she do?", is some kind of fidget.

For example, Gregor (future Emperator of Eisen), is a supremely confident man. He knows who he is, and exactly what his purpose is. When I'm him, I sit quite still, straight, but not stiff, both feet planted firmly on the ground.

Kara Starshaper, Jedi Master, was very chaotic inside, but it scared her, so to counterbalance that she was quite still on the outside. She always sat cross legged, with her hands tented as if she was meditating, except in the heat of battle when she sat eagerly forward with her hands on her thighs as if to reach for a weapon.

Now, most of the body language isn't something I sat down and thought up, it just flowed naturally from the character. With Gregor it started with sitting straight (my own natural inclination is to lounge, and I wanted very much for him not to be me), and with Kara it started with the hands, and I just hung the rest of the character on that framework.

[Moirae]

I think its because most of us are getting older. Its really hard to find players in NOLA too. Most of the people we play with are old friends of my husbands that we play with over skype. We put signs up at the local gaming store and everything and it didn't work.

We are playing a round robin type of gaming. Meaning, we have each chosen a game, we run for roughly a month, and then we switch. Currently, we are finishing up with this Exalted adventure. After that, my husband is ending our Vampire Dark Ages campaign (he's been debating running Shadowrun after that), a friend is running Changeling, and I'm running Star Wars Saga Edition. I've tried to get them interested in DnD but they don't want to play it. There's a friend of ours that wants to run a Star Wars Saga game and another that wants to run a XMen game in the XForce setting using a variant of the Aberrant setting. We play almost every Friday. Its been alot of fun.

Have to say though, the only time I've ever met other female gamers is at Dragon Con. Can't wait till September, we're going again. My favorite time of year.