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I’ve mentioned in posts that it has been a while since I last dealt with an SC. I was worried considering my track record with them, and was expecting them to return in full force. Boy, was I right.
It started like an ordinary shift. We had the correct levels of staff and everything was going smoothly. Suddenly, a co-worker received a phone call that her mother was ill and had been taken into hospital (we have since learned that her mother is fine and is going to make a full recovery). Because of this, she immediately left the pub and went to be by her mother’s side. About fifteen minutes later, a kitchen co-worker, who has just returned to work after a nasty infection, vomitted outside by the beer barrels. So she was also sent away. Ah well, it wasn’t that busy. We would cope.
Suddenly, it was like every single member of the public thought “You know what, they aren’t having a difficult enough day. Let’s go there for lunch!” Not ten minutes after the second co-worker left, a group of 15 walked through the door. Followed by another large group. And then another. And then another. And then another. Next thing we knew the bar was four people deep with people holding food menus.
Oh, and it was the lunch period, so of course these people had a limited time to get their food!
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As soon as we saw they all had menus, we immediatey put a wait on food. There were that many of them that the wait went from 5 minutes to 30 minutes right away. Oh the reactions we got.
SC: But you weren’t even busy a minute ago!
Me: Yes, but we are busy now.
SC: That’s not the point!
The kitchen were quickly overwhelmed. They wanted the wait increased to 45 minutes to an hour.
SC: I’ve got an urgent appointment in 25 minutes! I can’t wait that long.
Me: *blank stare*
SC: I can’t wait that long!
Me: So do you want to order or not?
SC: Yes, but I can’t wait that long!
Me: I’m sorry, but the wait is non-negotiable.
SC: But I can’t wait that long!
Me: *another long blank stare*
SC: You know what, forget it!
Next customer.
SC: Geez. What was his problem? Can I order some food?
Me: Sure, but I need to make you aware that we have a 45-an hour wait on food.
SC: But I can’t wait that long.
Me: *blank stare*
Seriously, my blank stare got a good workout today!
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SC: I have been waiting too long for my food!
Me: OK, would you like me to get you a refund?
SC: I want a COMPLAINT FORM!!!!!!11111!!!!
Me: I’m afraid we don’t have complaint forms. Would you like a telephone number or a word with the manager?
SC: COMPLAINT FORM!
Me: We don’t have those.
SC: Well I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed one, because I am soooooooooooooooo angry that I can’t even speak! I need to write it dooooooooooooooown!
She spoke to me like I was a piece of shit. I got her a blank piece of paper and a green crayon from a kids pack and handed it to her.
Me: Write your complaint on that.
Two minutes later...
SC: MY CRAYON HAS SNAPPED!!!!!!11111!!!!
I ran and hid in the kitchen. I don’t know what happened next but when I went back she was gone. I did however get to see her letter of complaint. It was completely unreadable, except for the word “RIDICULOUS” which was used about thirty times.
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The rush went away instantly. In the space of ten minutes most of the customers finished their meals and headed immediately for the exit. We were left with a warzone of plates and glasses all over the place. However, we decided that we would all take a collective sigh of relief and have a five minute rest before we started cleaning.
As soon as I got a nice, cold glass of water another large group walked through the door.
SC: Look at the state of this place! And the bar staff are just stood there doing nothing! What a bunch of lazy idiots!!!!!
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The rush returned, and it was worse than the last one. We had not had time to catch up, so we had no clean glasses, no clean plates, no food prepared or portioned and to top it all off we were freaking exhausted. The wait for food went up to 90 minutes. And people were still ordering. If I had been told a 90 minute wait on a meal in a pub that was quite clearly struggling, I would have left and went somewhere else.
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I took six meals to a grumpy old bitch’s table. She had ordered a fish meal, and as soon as she cut into it, she bitched and moaned.
SC: I believe this fish is still raw in the middle! I have waited an hour and a half for this meal, and you serve it undercooked???? You could have given me food poisoning! You could have killed me! What if I had shared it with my grandchildren? You could have killed my grandchildreeeeeeen!!!
Me: I’ll go get the manager.
Manager was at his wits end at this point. The SC was going batshit crazy and was being as dramatic as she possibly could, while her smug family looked on. She then threw in the words “attempted murder”.
Manager: So you want a refund?
SC: Yes! On all six meals!
M: OK. Customersruinmylife, start clearing these meals away please.
SC: What?!?! No! We’re still going to eat them!
M: You think this meal is going to kill you and yet you still want to eat it?
SC: Yes! I’m hungry!
M: Refund or meal. You don’t get both.
SC: I want my money back, but-
M: *picks up plates* Customersruinmylife, take these to the kitchen and dispose of them.
Me: *cheerfully* Sure!
SC: So now instead of poisoning me you’re going to let me starve to death????
I took the fish into the kitchen, but before I threw it away, I cut into it and placed a temperature probe into the meat. It was the perfect temperature, and the meat was completely cooked. Suddenly, the door flew open. Grumpy Old Bitch stuck her head in.
SC: THAAAAAAANKKKKK YOOOOUUUUUUUU SOOOOOO MUCH FOR A NICE MEEEEAAAALLLL!!!!!111!
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A small child, around eight years old was running around collecting glasses! I am not joking. He was going from table to table, asking customers “Have you finished with his yet?” and clearing their tables. The customers thought this was just so cute and hilarious!
I fucking didn’t. For starters, small children don’t have a clue how to stack glasses. He just dumped them on the side near the glasswash area. He was wedging large glasses into the rims of smaller ones, making it impossible to seperate them. And also, he got in the fucking way. He was a sweet kid, but it was just dangerous having him around. All it took was for one of his Jenga inpired stacks of glasses to fall on him and then we would be sued. I went over to his parents.
SC: He’s only helping! He’s doing a lot more work than the rest of the staff in this place!
Me: As insulting as I find that statement, I can’t allow him to continue working. It’s dangerous.
SC: No it isn’t!
SMASH!
Boy: Mummy! I cut myself! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
SC: WE’RE SUING!!!
Sweet Jesus.
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The amount of refunds we did was ridiculous. Not because we were serving bad food or anything, but because the customers were too impatient to wait for their food, despite being told about the delay before they ordered.
SC: But I didn’t think you were serious!
At least three customers said that.
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I literally had sweat dripping down my forehead. I could feel it running down my face. I was carrying four plates out at a time to customers, and carrying even more back into the kitchen to be cleaned. A woman waved me over.
SC: I’ve been waiting for my food for 20 minutes. Can’t you work a bit faster?
I felt myself starting to shake. I felt seven years worth of SC rage boiling within me. I was going to let this woman have it. I was going to yell at her until she cried. Her friend looked me in the eye, and she knew exactly what I was thinking.
F: Maggie, leave him alone.
SC: But-
F: MAGGIE! LEAVE. HIM. ALONE.
My rage calmed slightly. I walked away without a word.
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Myself and three co-workers finished at the same time. Manager gave us a bottle of wine each for our effort, and one of the nice regular customers came up to us and gave us a group hug. A co-worker actually started sobbing.
It started like an ordinary shift. We had the correct levels of staff and everything was going smoothly. Suddenly, a co-worker received a phone call that her mother was ill and had been taken into hospital (we have since learned that her mother is fine and is going to make a full recovery). Because of this, she immediately left the pub and went to be by her mother’s side. About fifteen minutes later, a kitchen co-worker, who has just returned to work after a nasty infection, vomitted outside by the beer barrels. So she was also sent away. Ah well, it wasn’t that busy. We would cope.
Suddenly, it was like every single member of the public thought “You know what, they aren’t having a difficult enough day. Let’s go there for lunch!” Not ten minutes after the second co-worker left, a group of 15 walked through the door. Followed by another large group. And then another. And then another. And then another. Next thing we knew the bar was four people deep with people holding food menus.
Oh, and it was the lunch period, so of course these people had a limited time to get their food!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As soon as we saw they all had menus, we immediatey put a wait on food. There were that many of them that the wait went from 5 minutes to 30 minutes right away. Oh the reactions we got.
SC: But you weren’t even busy a minute ago!
Me: Yes, but we are busy now.
SC: That’s not the point!
The kitchen were quickly overwhelmed. They wanted the wait increased to 45 minutes to an hour.
SC: I’ve got an urgent appointment in 25 minutes! I can’t wait that long.
Me: *blank stare*
SC: I can’t wait that long!
Me: So do you want to order or not?
SC: Yes, but I can’t wait that long!
Me: I’m sorry, but the wait is non-negotiable.
SC: But I can’t wait that long!
Me: *another long blank stare*
SC: You know what, forget it!
Next customer.
SC: Geez. What was his problem? Can I order some food?
Me: Sure, but I need to make you aware that we have a 45-an hour wait on food.
SC: But I can’t wait that long.
Me: *blank stare*
Seriously, my blank stare got a good workout today!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SC: I have been waiting too long for my food!
Me: OK, would you like me to get you a refund?
SC: I want a COMPLAINT FORM!!!!!!11111!!!!
Me: I’m afraid we don’t have complaint forms. Would you like a telephone number or a word with the manager?
SC: COMPLAINT FORM!
Me: We don’t have those.
SC: Well I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed one, because I am soooooooooooooooo angry that I can’t even speak! I need to write it dooooooooooooooown!
She spoke to me like I was a piece of shit. I got her a blank piece of paper and a green crayon from a kids pack and handed it to her.
Me: Write your complaint on that.
Two minutes later...
SC: MY CRAYON HAS SNAPPED!!!!!!11111!!!!
I ran and hid in the kitchen. I don’t know what happened next but when I went back she was gone. I did however get to see her letter of complaint. It was completely unreadable, except for the word “RIDICULOUS” which was used about thirty times.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rush went away instantly. In the space of ten minutes most of the customers finished their meals and headed immediately for the exit. We were left with a warzone of plates and glasses all over the place. However, we decided that we would all take a collective sigh of relief and have a five minute rest before we started cleaning.
As soon as I got a nice, cold glass of water another large group walked through the door.
SC: Look at the state of this place! And the bar staff are just stood there doing nothing! What a bunch of lazy idiots!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rush returned, and it was worse than the last one. We had not had time to catch up, so we had no clean glasses, no clean plates, no food prepared or portioned and to top it all off we were freaking exhausted. The wait for food went up to 90 minutes. And people were still ordering. If I had been told a 90 minute wait on a meal in a pub that was quite clearly struggling, I would have left and went somewhere else.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I took six meals to a grumpy old bitch’s table. She had ordered a fish meal, and as soon as she cut into it, she bitched and moaned.
SC: I believe this fish is still raw in the middle! I have waited an hour and a half for this meal, and you serve it undercooked???? You could have given me food poisoning! You could have killed me! What if I had shared it with my grandchildren? You could have killed my grandchildreeeeeeen!!!
Me: I’ll go get the manager.
Manager was at his wits end at this point. The SC was going batshit crazy and was being as dramatic as she possibly could, while her smug family looked on. She then threw in the words “attempted murder”.
Manager: So you want a refund?
SC: Yes! On all six meals!
M: OK. Customersruinmylife, start clearing these meals away please.
SC: What?!?! No! We’re still going to eat them!
M: You think this meal is going to kill you and yet you still want to eat it?
SC: Yes! I’m hungry!
M: Refund or meal. You don’t get both.
SC: I want my money back, but-
M: *picks up plates* Customersruinmylife, take these to the kitchen and dispose of them.
Me: *cheerfully* Sure!
SC: So now instead of poisoning me you’re going to let me starve to death????
I took the fish into the kitchen, but before I threw it away, I cut into it and placed a temperature probe into the meat. It was the perfect temperature, and the meat was completely cooked. Suddenly, the door flew open. Grumpy Old Bitch stuck her head in.
SC: THAAAAAAANKKKKK YOOOOUUUUUUUU SOOOOOO MUCH FOR A NICE MEEEEAAAALLLL!!!!!111!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small child, around eight years old was running around collecting glasses! I am not joking. He was going from table to table, asking customers “Have you finished with his yet?” and clearing their tables. The customers thought this was just so cute and hilarious!
I fucking didn’t. For starters, small children don’t have a clue how to stack glasses. He just dumped them on the side near the glasswash area. He was wedging large glasses into the rims of smaller ones, making it impossible to seperate them. And also, he got in the fucking way. He was a sweet kid, but it was just dangerous having him around. All it took was for one of his Jenga inpired stacks of glasses to fall on him and then we would be sued. I went over to his parents.
SC: He’s only helping! He’s doing a lot more work than the rest of the staff in this place!
Me: As insulting as I find that statement, I can’t allow him to continue working. It’s dangerous.
SC: No it isn’t!
SMASH!
Boy: Mummy! I cut myself! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
SC: WE’RE SUING!!!
Sweet Jesus.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The amount of refunds we did was ridiculous. Not because we were serving bad food or anything, but because the customers were too impatient to wait for their food, despite being told about the delay before they ordered.
SC: But I didn’t think you were serious!
At least three customers said that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I literally had sweat dripping down my forehead. I could feel it running down my face. I was carrying four plates out at a time to customers, and carrying even more back into the kitchen to be cleaned. A woman waved me over.
SC: I’ve been waiting for my food for 20 minutes. Can’t you work a bit faster?
I felt myself starting to shake. I felt seven years worth of SC rage boiling within me. I was going to let this woman have it. I was going to yell at her until she cried. Her friend looked me in the eye, and she knew exactly what I was thinking.
F: Maggie, leave him alone.
SC: But-
F: MAGGIE! LEAVE. HIM. ALONE.
My rage calmed slightly. I walked away without a word.
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Myself and three co-workers finished at the same time. Manager gave us a bottle of wine each for our effort, and one of the nice regular customers came up to us and gave us a group hug. A co-worker actually started sobbing.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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