Non-Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

[Cookie]

Not all of the good out of context quotes happen at work. Like the namesake thread, just post the quote, no context. You can say where it happened if it adds to the out of context hilarity, but best to refrain if it adds too much context.

I'll start us off.

At church:

"I just lesbianed the speaker!"

[Mishi]

"Oh, don't flash your sister!"

"No forking the dog in the nose!"

[AnaKhouri]

"No, we do not eat Mommy's face."

"Well guess what! AZRAEL DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!"

[dragon_wings]

"Everyone's a prostitute you just have to ask."

[Mishi]

"Boobs! The answer is always boobs!"

[cashierbex]

"Hey, look at this weiner in my pants"
"Its better than the one you showed me a minute ago"

[Lady Legira]

There is only one thing these need... MORE RAISINS!

[tech_monkey]

I like Cherios.

[Cookie]

Mountain Dew has a variety of uses. It can be used as a food replacement, a water replacement, and in rare circumstances, it can be taken intravenously as a blood replacement.

[Marmalady]

I tell you it won't work with trousers on!

[aqutalion]

"First, we will eat and drink. Then we will go see the women. Yes?"
(For the full effect, read in a monotone generic-"European" accent)

[Bardmaiden]

Wooohoo! I've pulled!

[Docmayhem]

Answering machine message I left:

Hey, Troll, it's Ogre. I got the cannon fuse. Talk to you later.

[Jay 2K Winger]

J2K: "I find that most problems can be blamed on Tom."
Tom: "I wasn't even there!"
J2K: "...so?"

[dragon_wings]

Voicemail message: LEAVE A MESSAGE OR DIE!