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Long time no Sucky customer post! That is mainly because I’ve been off the pub for a while and I just haven’t encountered any. Well, I went back last week and I guess they missed me.
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Customer came up to the bar with a pint.
SC: This tastes awful!
Me: OK, no worries. What lager is it? I will get it looked at and get you a fresh pint.
SC: It’s disgusting!
Me: OK, which one was it?
SC: Taste it!
Me: It’s OK, I believe you.
SC: I want you to taste it!
Me: It’s OK. Which one was it?
SC: Fucking hell just taste it you twat!!
Me: Don’t use that language towards me. I’m trying to help get this sorted.
SC: It’s fucking *brand name*! Fucking hell!
Me: Right.
I got him a fresh pint from a different barrel.
Me: That’s from a fresh barrel. It should be fine.
SC: *imitating me* “It should be fine!” Shut the fuck up, you smug shit.
Me: Right, you’re not getting served by me again today until you apologise.
SC: Fuck off.
He went back to his table. Oh, I should also mention that I was the only person behind the bar at that point! He returned for another pint half an hour later.
Me: I told you I’m not serving you until I get an apology.
SC: I’m not fucking apologising to you!
Me: Then no service. See ya.
SC: You can’t do that!
Me: Watch me.
I went to the end of the bar and opened a newspaper, ignoring him.
SC: Hey! Hey! Fucking serve me!
Me: No thanks. You know what you need to do to get a drink. So until then I’ll wait here.
He went wide eyed. He was shocked and walked up to a CW who was working the floor.
SC: I need a drink. Go behind the bar and serve me.
CW: I’m sorry, but I’m not working the bar today. I don’t have a register. But my co-worker will serve you.
SC: But he won’t! He wants me to apologise for something!
CW: Then maybe you should.
SC: Tell you what, you go up to him and tell him I’m sorry, OK?
CW did just that. He was stood right behind her with a smile on his face.
SC: So I will have-
Me: You haven’t apologised to me.
SC: I have!
Me: I haven’t heard you. Apologise to my face or no drink.
SC: I’ve already apologised! You heard her!
Me: No way.
SC: Well how about if I go to *rival pub*?
Me: That’s fine with me. I don’t want you in here anyway.
SC: I can’t believe you!
He left.
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Monday afternoon. An old bag stormed up to me.
SC: Excusssseee meee, but why aren’t you doing Sunday Lunch today?
Me: It’s Monday.
SC: No it isn’t!
Me: It is.
SC: I want my Sunday lunch! You’re so rude!!!
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A man walked up to the bar with a horrible grin on his face.
Me: Hi there, what can I get you?
SC: Read this.
He thrust a laminated newspaper clipping in my face. I quickly scanned through it. It was a small article on the SC, saying he had just completed a charity race around the area.
SC: So, I would like a free meal and drinks for my achievement.
Me: Well, congratulations on your achievement, but I don’t think we can do this.
SC: Yes you can. Have you read it properly? I’m doing work for charity, and if you don’t do this then you aren’t helping my sponsorship!
He was very snippy and rude. I wasn’t having it.
Me: How would us giving away free food to you benefit the charity?
SC: You need to celebrate what I’ve done!
Me: I should also point out that this article is ten years old.
SC: What??
Me: Look. The date in the corner says April 2003.
SC: That’s…that’s a misprint.
Me: Sorry.
SC: Yeah, well for that, the next article about me in the paper will be me giving an interview on how you don’t support charities! You won’t like that!
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Customer came in and ordered a meal that comes with a side of vegetables. I also feel the need to point out that this guy was extremely overweight and was wearing a very small t-shirt, so he was extra attractive with 80% of his belly on show. He called me over. He had a southern English accent.
SC: I need to tell you something. I travel the UK and I go for pub meals all over the country, and you should know that this is the WORST meal I’ve ever had. Congratulations. You are the worst pub in the whole country.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. What exactly is wrong with the meal?
SC: What is THIS??
He picked up a piece of broccoli and shoved it about an inch from my nose.
Me: What?
SC: What is this? What is it? Why is it in my meal? It’s disgusting!! It’s ruined the meal!! What is it?!
Me: It’s broccoli.
SC: What is it??
Me: It’s a vegetable.
SC: Well I didn’t ask for it! I don’t want your fancy foreign vegetables! I want regular vegetables! This stuff is the worst!
Me: Well, I am sorry you don’t like it. I will pass it on to the cooks.
I wasn’t willing to give him a refund because he didn’t like broccoli.
Oh but it didn’t stop there. He finished his meal and sat with a sullen look on his face. He called me over again.
SC: What is going on over there?
Me: Over where?
SC: That table of four!
He pointed to a table of four friends. They had been in all night. Originally there were three of them and they had a meal together. The fourth had just joined and was eating on his own.
SC: What are they doing? Why is that man eating all by himself? Why aren’t his friends?
I explained to him why he was eating on his own.
SC: And how do YOU know that??
Me: I’ve been working all night. I served them the meals.
SC: No. There’s more to this than meets the eye. There must be a reason why the other three aren’t eating. I think it’s because they had an awful experience like me.
Me: They’ve already eaten and there were no issues.
SC: You don’t know that.
Me: I served them the food. I do know that.
SC: But people don’t do things like that! People don’t sit in groups and eat on their own! At least they don’t where I come from! What is with this place? It serves strange vegetables and odd people! People don’t do that! They do not eat on their own!
Me: *starting to walk away* Riiiiight.
SC: You should refuse to serve people like that.
Me: I can’t refuse to serve people because you think they’re odd.
SC: And that is why you’re going to lose my custom!
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Customer came up to the bar with a pint.
SC: This tastes awful!
Me: OK, no worries. What lager is it? I will get it looked at and get you a fresh pint.
SC: It’s disgusting!
Me: OK, which one was it?
SC: Taste it!
Me: It’s OK, I believe you.
SC: I want you to taste it!
Me: It’s OK. Which one was it?
SC: Fucking hell just taste it you twat!!
Me: Don’t use that language towards me. I’m trying to help get this sorted.
SC: It’s fucking *brand name*! Fucking hell!
Me: Right.
I got him a fresh pint from a different barrel.
Me: That’s from a fresh barrel. It should be fine.
SC: *imitating me* “It should be fine!” Shut the fuck up, you smug shit.
Me: Right, you’re not getting served by me again today until you apologise.
SC: Fuck off.
He went back to his table. Oh, I should also mention that I was the only person behind the bar at that point! He returned for another pint half an hour later.
Me: I told you I’m not serving you until I get an apology.
SC: I’m not fucking apologising to you!
Me: Then no service. See ya.
SC: You can’t do that!
Me: Watch me.
I went to the end of the bar and opened a newspaper, ignoring him.
SC: Hey! Hey! Fucking serve me!
Me: No thanks. You know what you need to do to get a drink. So until then I’ll wait here.
He went wide eyed. He was shocked and walked up to a CW who was working the floor.
SC: I need a drink. Go behind the bar and serve me.
CW: I’m sorry, but I’m not working the bar today. I don’t have a register. But my co-worker will serve you.
SC: But he won’t! He wants me to apologise for something!
CW: Then maybe you should.
SC: Tell you what, you go up to him and tell him I’m sorry, OK?
CW did just that. He was stood right behind her with a smile on his face.
SC: So I will have-
Me: You haven’t apologised to me.
SC: I have!
Me: I haven’t heard you. Apologise to my face or no drink.
SC: I’ve already apologised! You heard her!
Me: No way.
SC: Well how about if I go to *rival pub*?
Me: That’s fine with me. I don’t want you in here anyway.
SC: I can’t believe you!
He left.
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Monday afternoon. An old bag stormed up to me.
SC: Excusssseee meee, but why aren’t you doing Sunday Lunch today?
Me: It’s Monday.
SC: No it isn’t!
Me: It is.
SC: I want my Sunday lunch! You’re so rude!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walked up to the bar with a horrible grin on his face.
Me: Hi there, what can I get you?
SC: Read this.
He thrust a laminated newspaper clipping in my face. I quickly scanned through it. It was a small article on the SC, saying he had just completed a charity race around the area.
SC: So, I would like a free meal and drinks for my achievement.
Me: Well, congratulations on your achievement, but I don’t think we can do this.
SC: Yes you can. Have you read it properly? I’m doing work for charity, and if you don’t do this then you aren’t helping my sponsorship!
He was very snippy and rude. I wasn’t having it.
Me: How would us giving away free food to you benefit the charity?
SC: You need to celebrate what I’ve done!
Me: I should also point out that this article is ten years old.
SC: What??
Me: Look. The date in the corner says April 2003.
SC: That’s…that’s a misprint.
Me: Sorry.
SC: Yeah, well for that, the next article about me in the paper will be me giving an interview on how you don’t support charities! You won’t like that!
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Customer came in and ordered a meal that comes with a side of vegetables. I also feel the need to point out that this guy was extremely overweight and was wearing a very small t-shirt, so he was extra attractive with 80% of his belly on show. He called me over. He had a southern English accent.
SC: I need to tell you something. I travel the UK and I go for pub meals all over the country, and you should know that this is the WORST meal I’ve ever had. Congratulations. You are the worst pub in the whole country.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. What exactly is wrong with the meal?
SC: What is THIS??
He picked up a piece of broccoli and shoved it about an inch from my nose.
Me: What?
SC: What is this? What is it? Why is it in my meal? It’s disgusting!! It’s ruined the meal!! What is it?!
Me: It’s broccoli.
SC: What is it??
Me: It’s a vegetable.
SC: Well I didn’t ask for it! I don’t want your fancy foreign vegetables! I want regular vegetables! This stuff is the worst!
Me: Well, I am sorry you don’t like it. I will pass it on to the cooks.
I wasn’t willing to give him a refund because he didn’t like broccoli.
Oh but it didn’t stop there. He finished his meal and sat with a sullen look on his face. He called me over again.
SC: What is going on over there?
Me: Over where?
SC: That table of four!
He pointed to a table of four friends. They had been in all night. Originally there were three of them and they had a meal together. The fourth had just joined and was eating on his own.
SC: What are they doing? Why is that man eating all by himself? Why aren’t his friends?
I explained to him why he was eating on his own.
SC: And how do YOU know that??
Me: I’ve been working all night. I served them the meals.
SC: No. There’s more to this than meets the eye. There must be a reason why the other three aren’t eating. I think it’s because they had an awful experience like me.
Me: They’ve already eaten and there were no issues.
SC: You don’t know that.
Me: I served them the food. I do know that.
SC: But people don’t do things like that! People don’t sit in groups and eat on their own! At least they don’t where I come from! What is with this place? It serves strange vegetables and odd people! People don’t do that! They do not eat on their own!
Me: *starting to walk away* Riiiiight.
SC: You should refuse to serve people like that.
Me: I can’t refuse to serve people because you think they’re odd.
SC: And that is why you’re going to lose my custom!
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