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MadMike 01-17-2007 02:18 PM

Two morons decided to go hunting for bears. They were walking along a road, when the road forked. At the fork was a sign that said "Bear left."

So they went home.

Mongo Skruddgemire 01-18-2007 03:41 PM

Who ever said that there was no sex on tv in the 1950's?

Seriously! How many times have you heard June Cleaver coming down the stairs and saying "Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

I apologize for the fact that now none of you will be able to watch Leave it to Beaver the same way ever again!


And for pitys sake...the kids name...Beaver Cleaver? What was he? A little prick?

Giggle Goose 01-22-2007 06:11 AM

This lady had a dog named Free Show. She wasn't very bright. One day she was in the shower and saw the dog from the window running out of the house, so without thinking she runs out of the house, running naked down the street screaming "FREE SHOW! FREE SHOW"

*is too stunned she told this joke to actually duck*

Lyger 01-22-2007 06:46 PM

There was a doctor who would get stressed at his job, doing what doctors do. And every day, after work, he would go see his friend, Dick, a bartender. And at this bar, Dick would always know that his doctor friend was coming, and would have an almond daquiri waiting for the doctor. And every day, the doctor would come in, have the drink, talk to Dick for a spell, and then go home.

One day, Dick realizes he doesn't have any almonds. The only thing left is a hickory nut. Dick thinks, "Well, the doctor isn't going to notice." So he makes a daquiri with the hickory nut as best he can. So eventually, the doctor comes into the bar and takes a sip. He looks at Dick and says "Dick, is this an almond daquiri?"

And Dick replies, "No. It's a hickory daquiri, Doc."

Irving Patrick Freleigh 01-22-2007 08:13 PM

Didja hear about the new breakfast cereal for impotent husbands?
I's called Nut 'N Raisin Honey

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A happy pit bull

Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted "I am Napolean!"
"How do you know?" asked another inamte.
"God told me!" said the first inmate.
Another inamte then shouted, "I did NOT!"

myswtghst 01-23-2007 11:18 PM

Q: Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

A: Fo Drizzle.

*giggles to self, as she does everytime she tells this joke*

DarthRetard 01-25-2007 07:21 AM

Hahahha. Mys, you just reminded me of another I'd heard.....

It was 50 Cent's birthday, and he was opening presents, and they were all great, but Eminem gave him one he'd never forget.

He opens it up...and what do you know? It's a sweater, and do you know what Fitty Cent says?

50: Gee, You Knit?

*climbs down to bomb shelter*

MystyGlyttyr 01-25-2007 08:42 PM

I don't get it...:confused:

Rapscallion 01-25-2007 11:07 PM

"G-Unit" - apparently the name of some person who takes larges amounts of money from people so he can tell them how good he is (see: rapper, con artist, politician).


MystyGlyttyr 01-26-2007 08:40 PM


Okay...I see the joke and I get it but why would it be called G-Unit? Eh, never mind...

-Mysty, who can never get a whole joke because she can't stop analyzing it's parts...

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