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-   -   Groaners (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=6050)

Kara 03-22-2007 03:52 AM

Just remembered a great groaner (aren't you lucky?).

A cathedral put out a notice that they were seeking a bell ringer. A few days later, a man approached the abbot and said he was interested in the job. The abbot looked him over and saw that he had no arms.

"My good man," the abbot said, "I appreciate your interest, but there are certain...qualifications I'm afraid you are lacking."
"Please, sir," the man said. "I desperately need a job. Besides, I have other ways I can perform the task."
Intrigued, the abbot led the man up to the tower and showed him the large bell. "Well, it's right about 2 o'clock," he said. "Let's see how you do."
The man stepped back, put his head down, and ran straight into the bell, and it rang louder and clearer than ever before. The man stepped back a second time and did it again, the second ring as perfect as the first.
"Excellent," the abbot exclaimed. "You'll start in the morning!"

The next day, the man came in and started his routine at 6am. He did fine until noon. By the 11th ring he had become very dizzy, and as he charged at the bell a final time he ran right past it and fell from the tower, and plummeted to his death.

The abbot called the police and met them outside by the body.
"A terrible tragedy," the abbot said.
"Do you know this man's name, your grace?" the investigator asked.
"No," the abbot replied. "But his face rings a bell."

iradney 03-23-2007 10:23 AM

Little Boy blew


Hey, he needed the money....

BookstoreEscapee 03-23-2007 08:46 PM

Man goes to the doctor, and says: Some days I think I'm a wigwam, and some days I think I'm a teepee. Doctor says, you should relax...you're two tents.

Woman goes to the doctor and says, "Every time I drink my tea I get a piercing pain in my eye." Doctor examines her eye and asks her some questions to determine the cause. Finally he has an answer for her. "Take the spoon out of your cup."

XCashier 03-24-2007 01:06 AM

Quote:

Quoth Kara_CS (Post 100971)
"Do you know this man's name, your grace?" the investigator asked.
"No," the abbot replied. "But his face rings a bell."

Have you heard the follow-up to that one?

The next day, another man comes for the bell-ringing job. The abbot notices he looks a lot like the previous, late bell-ringer. "He was my brother," the man explained, "and he loved church-bells, so I'd like to take the job and ring the bells in his memory." Touched, the abbot hires the man.

The next day, the man started his job, and rang the bells perfectly, but around noon, he slipped off the bell tower and fell to his death.

The police returned, and the investigator asked the abbot for the dead man's name.

The abbot replied, "I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

Irving Patrick Freleigh 03-25-2007 08:45 PM

What do you do with 365 used condoms?











Melt them into a tire and call it a Goodyear!

Caveat Emptor 03-30-2007 03:20 AM

Quote:

Quoth BookstoreEscapee (Post 101802)
Man goes to the doctor, and says: Some days I think I'm a wigwam, and some days I think I'm a teepee. Doctor says, you should relax...you're two tents.


Don't you know we're past tense? We're into bungalows now.

Caveat Emptor 03-30-2007 03:23 AM

There were two young skunks named Out and In. Whenever In was out, Out was in. One day, their mother told Out "Bring In in." Out found In very quickly, and the mother asked how he did it.

"Instinct."

:rimshot:

Giggle Goose 04-04-2007 09:26 PM

*This might offend some Christians, but my Catholic family thinks it's funny so I'm not too worried*

There was a boy who did poorly in math. His parents tried everything they could to improve his grades, from studying for hours on end to getting tutors. Finally, they were at the end of their rope and decided to send him to a Catholic school where he would be more disciplined.

The parents were so happy when he bring his first math test home with an "A.' Shocked, his mother asks: "What happened to make this sudden change?"

The boy replied: "Well, I got there and saw that guy nailed to that plus sign and knew they meant business!"

MystyGlyttyr 04-05-2007 03:11 PM

Quote:

Quoth Giggle Goose (Post 107376)
*This might offend some Christians, but my Catholic family thinks it's funny so I'm not too worried*
PLEASE EDIT QUOTES

Heh, the first person I heard this joke from was a NUN. :lol:


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