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BookstoreEscapee 04-05-2007 11:05 PM

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.
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"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
:lol:
:o
:ashamed:
I'm sorry

lordlundar 04-07-2007 04:10 AM

Owwwww, my head...

Okay, here's one:


A man walks into a bar.
He sais "ouch".

:ashamed: :sorry:

Rapscallion 04-09-2007 06:04 PM

Have you heard about those new Viagra eyedrops?

They make you look f***ing hard.

Rapscallion

nhollywood 04-10-2007 12:37 AM

A sting walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to the sign that says "No Strings Allowed". The string walks out but really wants a drink so he ties himself up, ruffles himself up a bit and walks back in. He orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that string that was just in here?" The string shouts "String? String? I'm a frayed knot!"

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who sits at the bottom of a hole?
Phil

What do you call two men who hang on either side of a window?
Kurt and Rod

What do you call a man and a woman with no arms and no legs who sit on a grill?
Frank and Patti

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the bottom of a swimming pool?
Dwayne

I've got more...

marlovino 04-11-2007 05:52 AM

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the water?
BOB


What do you call a man with no arms or legs at your front door?
MAT



What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it out for a drag.


:rimshot:
Thank you, Thank you. I will be here.... for another 5 minutes.
Don't forget to tip your waitress and try the veal.
Thank you.





http://members.cox.net/scavenger7/Smilies/tomaatit.gif

Chained to the counter 04-11-2007 08:34 AM

Donald Duck wanted a divorce from Daisy.
"But Daisy's nont insane" said Donalds lawyer.
"I didn't say she was insane" protested Donald
"I said she was fucking Goofy"


Diana and Barbara were at the shopping centre
"There's my husband coming out of the florist with a dozen red roses. That means i'm going to have to keep my legs up in the air for 3 days." said Diana
"Why" asked Barbara "Don't you have a vase"

:rimshot:


How do you confuse an Archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask whick period it's from.

Bad i know :ashamed:

latenightchild 04-13-2007 09:54 PM

What did the farmer say when he lost his tracter?
....wheres my tractor?:angel:

Irving Patrick Freleigh 04-14-2007 01:42 AM

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal testicles?

Sparky.

:lol:

Kara 04-16-2007 05:47 PM

Nurse: Doctor, the Invisible Man is waiting in room 23.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now.

*dodges tomatoes*

Kara 04-22-2007 08:54 PM

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, ''Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves.''


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