Okay, I can't do a proper parody of Abba, but holy JEEZ ...
Cast of characters:
Shrill and Squawky (mother? grandmother? Not sure)
Had-It-Up-To-Here Hubby
Unfortunate Youngsters (silent bystanders)
Homicidal Cashier (guess who)
I was ringing one customer through today when I hear, from the family grouping behind my current customer:
SaS: "SHE CAN'T EAT THAT! WHY DID YOU PICK THAT UP?? SHE CAN'T EAT THAT!!" (at a decibel level that I'm sure could easily be heard at least four registers away)
SaS was waving a plastic container of potato salad as if it had a biohazard symbol on the cover.
HIUTH Hubby: "Okay, so we'll put it back."
SaS: "SHE CAN'T EAT THIS!! YABBAGABBLEARGLBLARGL ..."
I was concentrating on my current customer by this point so I didn't catch the entirety of the rest of her rant. I heard something about glucose (does potato salad have glucose in it??) and eggs but not the details.
HIUTH Hubby: "All right! I said we'll put it back!"
SaS: "YABBAGABBLEARGLBLARGLARGLESQUAWK!!!!"
HIUTH Hubby: "LOOK, I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!!" (small wonder) "We'll give it to her [motioning towards me] when we get up there!!"
They get up to the register and SaS hands me the deadly bioweapon, which I put aside. And I start ringing them through. They don't have a large order.
BUT THEN ...
Among their items were three sealed bags of lemons, each marked at 50% off. They were obviously from the "reduced" produce rack. Two packages held 4 lemons, the other held only 3. I go through the process of ringing them up at 50% off ...
SaS: "Wait a minute! How much do those lemons cost??"
Me: [pointing to monitor] "Well, you see they were $4 originally but [points to red text] they are now 50% so they're about $2 and change."
SaS: "FOUR DOLLARS! That's a dollar per lemon! That's way too much!"
Me: "Um, yes, but you're getting them at half price."
SaS: "No, no, four dollars is WAY TOO MUCH."
Me: "Yes, but you're getting them at half price ..."
Meanwhile a supervisor has come over to see WTF is going on. She goes to check the original price which is, indeed, $1 per lemon (except for these, which are at HALF PRICE, and have ginormous stickers on each bag saying so).
Meanwhile, SaS and HIUTH Hubby are arguing whether they NEED lemons.
Before the supervisor even gets back, SaS flicks the end of one of the bags and says, "Take them off; we don't want them."
Me: "Okay." By this point all I want is to get them the hell out of there.
I start the process of voiding them out. Although they are produce, thank whatever deities you choose that they are produce that is priced per item and not by weight (voiding out produce that is priced by weight is a fairly major PITA).
I manage to get two of the bags taken off and then supervisor, who has come back, comes over to make damn sure they are all gone (can't imagine why ) There's a bit of confusion because one of the bags only had 3 lemons in it, but supervisor finally says, "Okay, all done."
By this point the Unfortunate Youngsters (aged 10 and early teens, would be my guess) and HIUTH Hubby have long since gotten out of range.
SaS takes her receipt with my rather curt "Here'syourreceiptthankyou" and heads out the door as well.
I sincerely hope these people are visitors. If I ever again hear SaS's mellifluous tones in my lineup, I might opt to just cut and run. And Bastet help anybody who's in my way.
Cast of characters:
Shrill and Squawky (mother? grandmother? Not sure)
Had-It-Up-To-Here Hubby
Unfortunate Youngsters (silent bystanders)
Homicidal Cashier (guess who)
I was ringing one customer through today when I hear, from the family grouping behind my current customer:
SaS: "SHE CAN'T EAT THAT! WHY DID YOU PICK THAT UP?? SHE CAN'T EAT THAT!!" (at a decibel level that I'm sure could easily be heard at least four registers away)
SaS was waving a plastic container of potato salad as if it had a biohazard symbol on the cover.
HIUTH Hubby: "Okay, so we'll put it back."
SaS: "SHE CAN'T EAT THIS!! YABBAGABBLEARGLBLARGL ..."
I was concentrating on my current customer by this point so I didn't catch the entirety of the rest of her rant. I heard something about glucose (does potato salad have glucose in it??) and eggs but not the details.
HIUTH Hubby: "All right! I said we'll put it back!"
SaS: "YABBAGABBLEARGLBLARGLARGLESQUAWK!!!!"
HIUTH Hubby: "LOOK, I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!!" (small wonder) "We'll give it to her [motioning towards me] when we get up there!!"
They get up to the register and SaS hands me the deadly bioweapon, which I put aside. And I start ringing them through. They don't have a large order.
BUT THEN ...
Among their items were three sealed bags of lemons, each marked at 50% off. They were obviously from the "reduced" produce rack. Two packages held 4 lemons, the other held only 3. I go through the process of ringing them up at 50% off ...
SaS: "Wait a minute! How much do those lemons cost??"
Me: [pointing to monitor] "Well, you see they were $4 originally but [points to red text] they are now 50% so they're about $2 and change."
SaS: "FOUR DOLLARS! That's a dollar per lemon! That's way too much!"
Me: "Um, yes, but you're getting them at half price."
SaS: "No, no, four dollars is WAY TOO MUCH."
Me: "Yes, but you're getting them at half price ..."
Meanwhile a supervisor has come over to see WTF is going on. She goes to check the original price which is, indeed, $1 per lemon (except for these, which are at HALF PRICE, and have ginormous stickers on each bag saying so).
Meanwhile, SaS and HIUTH Hubby are arguing whether they NEED lemons.
Before the supervisor even gets back, SaS flicks the end of one of the bags and says, "Take them off; we don't want them."
Me: "Okay." By this point all I want is to get them the hell out of there.
I start the process of voiding them out. Although they are produce, thank whatever deities you choose that they are produce that is priced per item and not by weight (voiding out produce that is priced by weight is a fairly major PITA).
I manage to get two of the bags taken off and then supervisor, who has come back, comes over to make damn sure they are all gone (can't imagine why ) There's a bit of confusion because one of the bags only had 3 lemons in it, but supervisor finally says, "Okay, all done."
By this point the Unfortunate Youngsters (aged 10 and early teens, would be my guess) and HIUTH Hubby have long since gotten out of range.
SaS takes her receipt with my rather curt "Here'syourreceiptthankyou" and heads out the door as well.
I sincerely hope these people are visitors. If I ever again hear SaS's mellifluous tones in my lineup, I might opt to just cut and run. And Bastet help anybody who's in my way.
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