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Go p*** up a rope, lady (language)
Old 11-20-2013, 08:25 AM
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Dentarthurdent Dentarthurdent is offline
Auto Parts Clerk
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Western US
Posts: 243
Default Go p*** up a rope, lady (language)

You guys, this freaking twatwhistle. I was so pissed off.

She comes up to me asking for help with the wifi. I show her how to get on by typing a URL in the address bar (which COMPLETELY baffles her and I give up after explaining it three times), correct some minor issue like her putting the room number in wrong, and she and her husband are fine for about 45 minutes. I felt kinda apprehensive about the whole thing when I saw there was no browser but IE, but it was fine for a while.

She comes back up later, holding the computer, and sets it kind of sideways on the desk so we can both see it, and says she's no longer getting internet. I check the connection, it's fine. I pull up the browser, it's not loading any pages. I offer to call support, she asks how long that will take. I say "Usually about 15 minutes", because the support folks for our wifi system are VERY knowledgeable and pretty much always do a great job resolving the issue. She sighs and says that will be fine, so I call them up.

Support wants me to disconnect the wifi so they can disconnect and reconnect the guest on their end. The whole time I'm talking to them, I'm trying to use the touchpad, stretching way the hell over the desk to reach it because apparently she doesn't want me to have full control of the computer or to not be able to see what I'm doing. Every time I move the arrow with the touchpad, she makes a counter-move with the attached USB mouse and sends it in a different direction. I knew management wouldn't be on my side if I paused the phonecall and said "Ma'am, take your hand OFF the mouse if you want my help", so I just kinda gritted my teeth and finally got the wifi disconnected. The support guy disconnected and reconnected it like he said.

He told me to reconnect from my end, and then open a browser window. I reconnected the wifi and moved the mouse down to the IE logo (matters were not helped in this whole situation by my unfamiliarity with Windows 8), whereupon the woman clicked on the logo about 30 times because IE wasn't opening right away. Just...argh...gah! WHY? It's the same freaking mentality as the people who push the crosswalk button 8 times while they're waiting to cross the street. Mindless, pointless clicking. It's going to take LONGER if you do that.

Finally an IE window opened, or more accurately, 30 of them, and the support guy told me to go into "Tools" and start changing the settings. Every time I would open a new dialogue box and even mouse over something, she would click on it. I wanted to rip the mouse out of her hand and put it under the desk until we were done. She was making things 1000 times more difficult.

Finally I got to the options he wanted me to look at and described what boxes were checked and unchecked. He had me change a few things and we were about to try the new settings when the woman goes "Oh, this is just making me so nervous, we can't change the settings! This is my husband's computer! I guess I'll let him deal with this tomorrow."

Why did you fucking bring it to me if you didn't want help??? I apologized to the support tech as best I could with her still standing in front of me (I couldn't very well say "This stupid bitch wouldn't stop clicking on every fucking thing, I'm really not this computer-illiterate, if she hadn't been waving the mouse all over the damn place, including inadvertently shining the laser in my eyes because apparently it works better if you pick it up sometimes, I would have found "tools" about 20 times faster, and I'm sorry I wasted your fucking time this evening") and ended the call. UGH.
"Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
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Last edited by Dentarthurdent; 11-20-2013 at 08:26 AM. Reason: remembered unflattering name I made up for this person