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  • "How Am I Going To Shave My Balls?"

    As I ranted in Irv's Black Friday Debriefing 2009 thread, I am working 6 days straight, have homework pouring out my ears, on a diet and generally feeling like crap because I'm exhausted. I worked today and will work all weekend, all the way through to Sunday. Only cashier on for several hours both today and tomorrow.

    Aid of Rite made a booboo in their 3 day sale flyer and forgot to put a notice on the razors advertised for this week as one per household on all the varieties, and had us print out a sign saying that fact. We did print it and post it. The sign is small but it's there.

    </backstory>

    Two people come up front with two armloads full of razors of different varieties and as soon as I see it my heart sinks.

    "One per household."

    "Excuse me?"

    "One per household."

    "How am I going to shave my balls?"

    "One per household."

    "That's not what the flyer said. You have to give it to me."

    "No I do not. It is one per household."

    "No. The flyer does not say that. Show me it."

    "*shows them handy dandy corporate printout* This is a correction to the ad. One per household."

    "Then I need a manager."

    Not So Awesome Manager takes a minute and they are already insulting him and calling him "stupidvisor", which gets my blood boiling. (He's not as good as Awesome Manager but he is a fairly decent guy). He comes over and explains to them this is a correction to the ad and they will only sell them one per household. Razor Nitwits' voices get louder and louder as they demand corporate names and numbers and "this is false advertising!" and "I used to work at "'Wook's' pharmacy and they would honor the advertised price every time so you MUST GIVE US THESE RAZORS NOW" and "I don't want to be a pain in the ass but you're not being very helpful." (Oh did I so resist wanting to cough 'bullshit' into my hands.)

    Fianlly, Not So Awesome Manager takes them over to the rack and shows them the sign that says "One Per Household" that taped to the sign advertising no rainchecks. Someone mysteriously ripped the one per household sign off. . Razor Nitwits finally left everything there, and left, but not before calling me snippy.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.-Winston Churchill

  • #2
    Quoth ralerin View Post

    "How am I going to shave my balls?"
    "Very carefully."
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      Um....

      The same way you shave anything else? With your eyes closed, using fast strokes and a couple splashes of lemon juice?
      "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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      • #4
        *pulls out gardening shears* Actually we have a new shave our customer's balls for free special going on right now

        Comment


        • #5
          Maybe you should have asked him if he'd like to know the real meaning of snippy. Then, he wouldn't have to worry about shaving his balls.

          I probably would have said something to that effect. After all, I used to help my dad castrate pigs when I was a kid.
          The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park. -- B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

          Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology. -- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

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          • #6
            Quoth ralerin View Post
            "How am I going to shave my balls?"
            "How can you shave something that doesn't exist?"
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

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            • #7
              Quoth XCashier View Post
              "How can you shave something that doesn't exist?"
              I can go one better:

              "Did you want to buy a microscope today as well? We can throw in some tweezers and some spray starch....all in 4 easy instalments of just $29.95 plus postage and handling."

              Yeah, my mind's gone to sewer level today....
              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

              Now queen of USSR-Land...

              Comment


              • #8
                I'm pretty sure depending on where you live and how much money your willing to spend, you can find someone who will help you with your problem.
                *jedi hand wave* This game works...just not in your system.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth jackfaire View Post
                  *pulls out gardening shears* Actually we have a new shave our customer's balls for free special going on right now
                  Alternatively merely direct them to the power tools department and wish them luck

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                  • #10
                    Quoth jackfaire View Post
                    *pulls out gardening shears* Actually we have a new shave our customer's balls for free special going on right now
                    Act now and we'll throw in a free .
                    Last edited by tropicsgoddess; 12-02-2009, 04:37 AM.
                    I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                    Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                    Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                    • #11
                      Quoth ralerin View Post
                      "How am I going to shave my balls?"
                      Ok I have to ask. How many razors does it take to shave you balls sir? Do you have a problem down there?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I was at Aid or Rite when it opened yesterday because of the razors too! But I don't have balls, and I already know how to shave, so I didn't need to ask the cashier!

                        I was about the 10th person into the store and by the time I got to the razor aisle, these 2 women were grabbing every single razor they could find! I barely reached in to grab one of the Quattros before they were all gone! The women gave me a dirty look that I had taken one of their precious razors!

                        When I checked out later on I lamented that I wish I could have grabbed 2 of the Quattros and the cashier told me it was limit 1. I started laughing right then and there and warned her that she would going to have a really angry pair of women coming through her line fairly soon! If I hadn't needed to go pick up my pie, I might have waited to see what happened when those women finally stopped looting the rest of the store and checked out!

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                        • #13
                          How am I going to shave my balls?
                          May I suggest:



                          But these are really much faster, and your hand won't cramp as much:



                          The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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                          • #14
                            ^^

                            My those look painful *covers his "area"*

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth jackfaire View Post
                              *pulls out gardening shears* Actually we have a new shave our customer's balls for free special going on right now
                              Oh well, my monitor needed cleaning anyway ... just not with tea!
                              Arp happens!

                              Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

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