Thread: Groaners
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Old 01-16-2007, 06:57 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,088

Oh yeah?!

My parents bought me a dog for protection once. He was a wonderful dog. One time when I got held up, he sat and watched. He was a watchdog.

Most people name their dogs something "Fido" or "Rover". I named my dog "sex".

One day I took Sex for a walk, and he ran away from me. I spent all day looking for him. A cop came up to me and asked me "What are you doing in this alley at 3:00 in the morning?"

I told him "I'm looking for Sex". That wasn't much fun to explain to the judge.

One day I went to get a license for my dog. I told the clerk "I'd like to get a license for Sex." He said, "I'd like to have one too!"

Then I told him "But this is the dog!" The clerk told me he didn't care how she looked.

I then said "But I've had Sex since I was three years old!"

When I got divorced from my wife, we went to court for custody of the dog. I told the Judge, "Your Honor, I had Sex before we were married!" He said "So did I!"

I then told him that after we married, Sex left me. He said "Me too!"

When I told him I once had Sex on TV, he said "Show-off!" I them told the Judge it was a contest, and he said I should have sold tickets.

I also told the judge that when we got married, on our honeymoon I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife, and a special room for Sex. He told me "All our rooms are for sex!"

"But you don't understand!" I said to the clerk. "Sex keeps me awake at night!" He said "Me too!"

I give up.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily