View Single Post

Old 07-22-2006, 01:04 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,081

The time bomb: the person who makes a big feces mess in the restrooms

The Paris Hilton: the person who calls the store, rattles off a list of things she wants, and instructs us to have it all up and bagged at the service desk so she can come in and pay for it later. Basically she expects us to be her personal shoppers (I just call them Paris Hiltons because Paris seems like the kind of VIP who can have a personal shopper)

The Comparison Shopper, Part Deux: the person who calls the store, asks us our price on a particular item, asks us to put it on hold for her at the service desk, and then never picks it up, probably because she called other stores asking about the same item and bought it at the store that had it for the lowest price.

The Lonely Old Man: the old man who comes into the store 3 or 4 times a day and tries to make conversation with all the employees because that's basically his entire social life.

The Ritalin Advertisement: the kid who races around the store riding the display bikes, destroying aisles and endcaps, and screams at mother begging for a candy bar.

The Stinky Guy: pretty much self-explanatory

Mr/Ms "I'm too important to wait in line": the idiot who goes to the service desk to check out with a cart heaping full of clothes, dog food, packs of bottled water, etc. because he/she doesn't feel like waiting in line at the checkouts

The argument for more homework in the public schools: the kids (generally middle-school aged) who hang out at the store and do nothing but cause trouble.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
Reply With Quote