I'm mainly writing this because I've been up for an hour crying and unable to sleep and I think this will get it off my chest. Some TMI for girlyness...
So mum's fibroid. Bob.
Mum got to see the consultant today and the news is bad.
A few weeks back, Mum was pretty much assured (backed up by our research) that in the case of a hysterectomy, she'd be able to keep her ovaries. 30 years ago, when her mother had a fibroid and a full-hysterectomy, she turned over night into, well, "The Wicked Witch of the West", Mum put it. Mum doesn't want that, and she was told, oh its ok, you can keep your ovaries and you'll still have female hormones.
But Bob is just too big. Her uterus is the size of a peach and Bob is the size of a grapefruit. and he's just too tied into everything. Its not safe for them to remove him at this size. He's actually grown in the last month, and he's just feeding off her hormones. (He's also making her lose weight and given her anaemia).
So over the next 3 months, they're going to give her injections to induce menopause, as it will make Bob shrink. Then they'll give her the surgery.
I feel so terrible for her. She's never been a very confident lady, but I tell you all now, she's beautiful. She's always considered herself fat and ugly, and she's not, she's tiny and she's lovely. She takes great pride in her appearance to make herself feel better and the result is she's gorgeous even though she doesn't realise it. Even my fiance has made a couple of naughty remarks about how he knows how I'm gonna turn out gorgeous like her too! I hate to see what happens when the facial hair kicks in or something, it'll devastate her.
But then there's the hormones, changing her moods. I've lived through Mum being hormonal before, hell, to paint you a picture, I've lived through mum living with untreated Post-Natal-Depression (during which she tried to kill my Dad- yet that bloke married her twice anyway!). I feel terrible FOR her but now I'm scared of how she'll be over the next 3 months.
They've also got a non-refundable cruise booked that they can't go on because its too soon after the surgery. She's allowed to go on hormones after that, but I may have to take time off work to look after her (if I have a job by then).
And then the surgery. Apparently the hospital has improved over the years but its had a bad rep in the past, and was also where my grandfather died 10 years ago. Mum is terrified of dirt and stuff and a bit OCD so she keeps saying she wants to take Dettol with her. And the surgery is scary enough too.
I feel so guilty for being worried for how hard things will be for me and Dad, because its not going to be Mum's fault, and she already worries so much about us. But I'm a wibbly bunny and Dad has been known to take out his frustrations on me in the past. I don't cope well really.
I have to say, the consultant sounds like he was ACE. He laughed at my Mum's nervous jokes and made her feel comfortable. He called the fibroid Bob consistently, going along with what mum does. They even had a joke when my Mum had to have an internal and a female nurse was bought in to "chaperone", to which Mum joked "oh its ok, nurse, I won't hurt the doctor!" They all had a laugh apparently. Apparently he was great at just listening to her concerns and explaining everything, and making her feel relaxed. Someone clone this man!
Oh and he told mum that he wouldn't make her sign the forms authorising the removal of her ovaries yet. It has to be done, but he knows she's too emotional at the moment. He's very considerate.
I just wish our GP had been a little more forth-coming with the full range of possibilities...but then again maybe I'm just looking for someone to blame?
What also worries me is that this is my nan, and now my mum...(I've seen how badly my Nan aged after menopause too, she was beautiful as a young lady, but menopause hit her hard, I worry mum will break down if her looks really go badly...). Could it be my turn for all this unhappiness in 20 years time?
I'm going to try and find some like diet tips and things like different remedies to ease menopause, on her request. I also thought for her birthday, if I could get the money together, I might try and buy her some sort of spa day or makeover thing, so she can get pampered and lovelied and feel better about herself.
My biggest problem now is just how to get back to sleep. I guess I'll tackle everything us in the morning
Sorry for the wibbling. I feel like such a twat. Super praises for the awesome consultant though!
So mum's fibroid. Bob.
Mum got to see the consultant today and the news is bad.
A few weeks back, Mum was pretty much assured (backed up by our research) that in the case of a hysterectomy, she'd be able to keep her ovaries. 30 years ago, when her mother had a fibroid and a full-hysterectomy, she turned over night into, well, "The Wicked Witch of the West", Mum put it. Mum doesn't want that, and she was told, oh its ok, you can keep your ovaries and you'll still have female hormones.
But Bob is just too big. Her uterus is the size of a peach and Bob is the size of a grapefruit. and he's just too tied into everything. Its not safe for them to remove him at this size. He's actually grown in the last month, and he's just feeding off her hormones. (He's also making her lose weight and given her anaemia).
So over the next 3 months, they're going to give her injections to induce menopause, as it will make Bob shrink. Then they'll give her the surgery.
I feel so terrible for her. She's never been a very confident lady, but I tell you all now, she's beautiful. She's always considered herself fat and ugly, and she's not, she's tiny and she's lovely. She takes great pride in her appearance to make herself feel better and the result is she's gorgeous even though she doesn't realise it. Even my fiance has made a couple of naughty remarks about how he knows how I'm gonna turn out gorgeous like her too! I hate to see what happens when the facial hair kicks in or something, it'll devastate her.
But then there's the hormones, changing her moods. I've lived through Mum being hormonal before, hell, to paint you a picture, I've lived through mum living with untreated Post-Natal-Depression (during which she tried to kill my Dad- yet that bloke married her twice anyway!). I feel terrible FOR her but now I'm scared of how she'll be over the next 3 months.
They've also got a non-refundable cruise booked that they can't go on because its too soon after the surgery. She's allowed to go on hormones after that, but I may have to take time off work to look after her (if I have a job by then).
And then the surgery. Apparently the hospital has improved over the years but its had a bad rep in the past, and was also where my grandfather died 10 years ago. Mum is terrified of dirt and stuff and a bit OCD so she keeps saying she wants to take Dettol with her. And the surgery is scary enough too.
I feel so guilty for being worried for how hard things will be for me and Dad, because its not going to be Mum's fault, and she already worries so much about us. But I'm a wibbly bunny and Dad has been known to take out his frustrations on me in the past. I don't cope well really.
I have to say, the consultant sounds like he was ACE. He laughed at my Mum's nervous jokes and made her feel comfortable. He called the fibroid Bob consistently, going along with what mum does. They even had a joke when my Mum had to have an internal and a female nurse was bought in to "chaperone", to which Mum joked "oh its ok, nurse, I won't hurt the doctor!" They all had a laugh apparently. Apparently he was great at just listening to her concerns and explaining everything, and making her feel relaxed. Someone clone this man!
Oh and he told mum that he wouldn't make her sign the forms authorising the removal of her ovaries yet. It has to be done, but he knows she's too emotional at the moment. He's very considerate.
I just wish our GP had been a little more forth-coming with the full range of possibilities...but then again maybe I'm just looking for someone to blame?
What also worries me is that this is my nan, and now my mum...(I've seen how badly my Nan aged after menopause too, she was beautiful as a young lady, but menopause hit her hard, I worry mum will break down if her looks really go badly...). Could it be my turn for all this unhappiness in 20 years time?
I'm going to try and find some like diet tips and things like different remedies to ease menopause, on her request. I also thought for her birthday, if I could get the money together, I might try and buy her some sort of spa day or makeover thing, so she can get pampered and lovelied and feel better about herself.
My biggest problem now is just how to get back to sleep. I guess I'll tackle everything us in the morning
Sorry for the wibbling. I feel like such a twat. Super praises for the awesome consultant though!
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