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Old 07-09-2006, 11:37 PM
Kusanagi's Avatar
Kusanagi Kusanagi is offline
You want it WHEN?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 463

I have a few from the big ticket items we have.

1) NO, we do not negotiate prices. It's fantastic that the store down the street will give you $500 off "the exact same piece." The reason you came here and not there is...

2) If you get mad at me when I point out they charge a thousand more than we do in the first place, I get to take a leg off of the nearest available table and beat you with it.

3) If you STILL want to haggle on an $800 living room set after we've already addressed points 1 and 2, I get to bend you over the chair and do something infinately more painful with said table leg.

4) "ALL DAY DELIVERY" MEANS "ALL DAY DELIVERY." Do not bitch and moan the day before we deliver it that it NEEDS to be before noon because you forgot you had a delivery and scheduled a social event to go to.

5) Yes, we charge for delivery. If you walk and go pay someone else even more money because they offer free delivery, it's not my problem. Did you honestly think with gas prices the way they are that a company is truly offering "free" delivery? No, they make up the cost somewhere. Say, like charging an extra $1000.

6) If I pitch you the protection plan against stains and damages and you don't want to get it, and you call back a week after getting the furniture wanting us to clean a stain, then don't scream and cuss at me when I tell you there's nothing we can do. You are not entitled to anyhing beyond defects for your warranty, it is not included in anything. When you go to the car dealership and buy a new car, it comes with a warranty. The warranty does NOT cover dings and scratches you happen to contribute.

7) I am the lowest rung on the ladder. All I can do is forward information up the food chain and have them get back to you. I am a salesman. I do not deal with the delivery people. I do not deal with the warranty people. I have no authority to authorize anything that you feel you are entitled to, such as waiving the delivery fee or redelivery fee because we showed up when you were out at the Starbucks.

8) If my manager or one of his bosses shuts you down, or god forbid, you take an issue as far as the president of the company and HE says no, why the hell do you think calling ME to scream can do anything about it? Yes sir, I'm really the president of the company in disguise. I sit back and watch everything kindof as a spy. I rarely use my godlike powers to help, but in this case, I'll overturn our complete puppet organization and management just so YOU can be happy.

9) KEEP YOUR DAMNED KIDS UNDER CONTROL. We have items here worth thousands of dollars and if your child breaks something, you WILL be responsible for paying it.

10) If I politely ask your child to get off of the glass coffee table, and when he does it again, I ask you to keep your child under control and you yell at me how it isn't my job to raise your kid, I get to take my favorite table leg and beat you in certain areas of your body until you are unable to reproduce.

11) If I have several groups of people in the store, and I ask you if you have any intention of buying today after we've talked for awhile and found something you liked, contrary to what you believe, you do not have a right to get pissed off if I drop you and DO help the person who is ready to buy. We run a business, and I work on commission. If you're not ready to buy, then I'm going to help the person who is.

Probably going to add to this.
"Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

Last edited by gbm85; 07-10-2006 at 02:51 AM. Reason: Offensive language will not be tolerated