How to get on a train.
Apparently some people need the following instructions regarding getting on a train. There was me thinking it was reasonably simple and common sense! Sorry, long post!
*FYI- Underground and metro I do consider different. This is for trains in 'normal' railways.*
- Check if there is anyone ready to get off. Hint: usually there will be. Even through that smoked glass you can tell. Honestly.
- Stand a step or so to the side of the doors leaving the space directly in front of the doors empty. If there is a group of people already there then try to stand one side of the doors with them rather than both sides or crowded around in a semi circle. That way the people getting off can walk away and out of your way more quickly.
- Wait for the button to light up or otherwise indicate doors are ready to open.
- If needed press the button once firmly.
- Wait for the people to step off of the train.
- Check carefully to see there isn't a slow/trailing person still trying to get off.
- step forward, step on train, find seat, sit down. If you need to unpack stuff do it whilst sitting down or wait until everyone else is past you to stand back up.
- Walk right up to the doors and think the train is there for you and only you.
- stand right in front of the doors. Close enough that they don't even have room to open if you want.
- If there is a group of you surround the doors in a huddled semicircle.
- As soon as the train slows down - and even before it stops - start slamming the button like you are playing the drums. Shouting "come on!!!" is even better
- As soon as they open sweep straight into the doors and force your way in before they are even wide enough to take your shoulders.
- Blink and stare belligerently at the person who you just body slammed back into the carriage. How dare they be in your way.
-Try to stare down the person rather than moving to the side so they can get out of the huddled semi circle and let you on.
- Run forward and slam the button again for good measure.
- Be undecisive about which direction you are going to find a seat. Stop one step on the train and make everyone pile up behind you.
- Find a seat, put your bag on it, unpack your entire bag and block the aisle so everyone else has to wait for you. Sit down and whine about the fact you don't get a power socket for your laptop whilst admitting you are only going to be on the train for 20 minutes.
I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi
Last edited by Gizmo; 03-15-2012 at 06:27 PM.