You want a car that what?

[flybye023]

I recently ended a job where we took complaints from car owners and tried to help them find resolution. This story was not one of my calls but told to me by a friend:

A man calls in upset that his SUV isn’t equipped to carry corpses. Yes, you heard me.

Apparently he had to pick up a body at the airport, loaded it into the back of his SUV (perfectly normal, right?). Well as he was driving he had to brake suddenly. The body slid forward and landed headfirst into the small space between the folded down back seats and the upright front seats. He wanted our Company to know so they could redesign the SUV. Also wanted compensation for his trouble.

Well, buddy our Company also makes hearses. Ya might want to look into that…just a thought.

[Kara]

I'd have been tempted to tell him to call back tomorrow and talk to Tony "the Fixer" for cars what with the getting rid of bodies.

As for the "compensation?" I got your compensation right here! Hey Big Frankie! Why don't youse go and "compensate" this gentleman for his trouble? Tell him the Don(na?) sends her regards!

[BusBus]

Quoth flybye023

Well as he was driving he had to brake suddenly. The body slid forward and landed headfirst into the small space between the folded down back seats and the upright front seats.

Is it wrong that I found that funny?

[Spiffy McMoron]

Why is he using an SUV to transport a body? Why isn't he using the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car or a battered LTD?

-Spiffy, who drives a battered LTD

[Erin]

Does this brand of SUV have a luggage rack on the roof?? That might have been more conducive to body transportation...just need a few tie-downs.

[CanadaGirl]

Quoth Erin

Does this brand of SUV have a luggage rack on the roof?? That might have been more conducive to body transportation...just need a few tie-downs.

That would be a sight to see going down the highway. An SUV with a coffin attached to the luggage rack.

[Dr Yorick]

Besides my duties as a police dispatcher, I have a friend who owns a mortuary removal service.,and I help him out occassionally. For those who just went wtf!, a removal service removes deceased persons from the place of death to the funeral home. A lot of funeral homes in my area are either too busy or they are one man operations so they rely on this type of service.

If the guy driving the suv had a body slide forward on him, and it was I am sure, in a shipping container, then shame on him for not securng the container before he took off. If the body was on a stretcher, then shame on him for being so reckless.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Quoth Spiffy McMoron

Why is he using an SUV to transport a body? Why isn't he using the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car or a battered LTD?

-Spiffy, who drives a battered LTD

'75 Cadillac Fleetwood. The trunk was so freaking huge you could hide the corpses of an entire cheerleading squad and transport them to the mass grave out in the middle of the New Jersey Pine Barrens.

Uhm...err...*cough*...not that I know of such things

M

[Knifeman]

"look at that trunk! You can fit three bodies in it"

[sportsmom]

Quoth BusBus

Is it wrong that I found that funny?

I hope not because I'm right there with ya on that one.