You fail at euphemisms
Important Public Service Announcement:
When trying to...say something without really saying it...make sure your euphemisms and stand-in expressions are as hard as possible to decode. Otherwise you wind up with a conversation that goes like this:
(Background: one of my co-workers, who was just hired a couple months ago, is leaving us in two weeks to go back home to Florida because a member of his family is ill and he's needed there. He apparently plans, however, to have a long-distance relationship with the girl he'd been living with.
Female co-worker: I could never do a long-distance relationship for....some reasons.
Other female co-worker who was hired a couple weeks ago and is awesomesauce: That means you like to have sex a lot, doesn't it?
Swear to God, I have never laughed as hard at work than I did after hearing that.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.