First SC of the year

[Cooper]

background: I'm a seasonal employee. As of this holiday weekend, I'm officially off contracted work--website and forms work--and back to the desk.

I've had my first sucky customer of the year.

Customers sometimes get the impression that one of the owners is nicer than the other, while it really depends on their moods, as they both fluctuate. However, J is more likely to be nice to customers than P, though they often don't know this. / background

The phone rings:

Me: [buisness name.]
Woman: Hello?
Me: Hello.
Woman: Can I speak to P? (note, I thought she said a name like Todd at first. our phones are notoriously horrible.)
Me: Could you repeat that?
Woman: P!
Me: J is walking out the door right now. Would he work?
Woman: I SAID I WANT TO TALK TO P!!!!!
Me: Okay I'll get P.
*puts her on hold*
Me: We've got a grumpy customer here!

I walk up to J. One thing I love about my bosses? They won't put up with this crap.

Me: The woman on the phone wants to talk to P now.
J: It doesn't work that way.

J talks to her, and explains that she will talk to him because P is not available. (P was currently rescuing a boat that had broken down, so he was as unavailable as you could get.) He then explains he does not want to get in the middle of it, and she should call back after the holiday. She refuses.

He reiterates, and explains he feels her boat is unsafe, and he will not put it in the water. He will haul it to her yard and she can handle it from there, but he will not put it in the water.

He explains again that he will not touch the boat, but it is between her and P. She can call back after the holiday to discuss this.

A minute later, he hangs up. That entire minute he spends as close to hanging up as he can get without actually taking the phone away from his ear.

So basically, she wants us to take her boat, which will fail on them either electronically, mechanically, or physically (the wood is so rotted it could break through, the wires are rotted, and the engine is bad) and risk our employees to test if it is water-ready, then drive it to her.

How about no?

[Ironclad Alibi]

Quoth Cooper

So basically, she wants us to take her boat, which will fail on them either electronically, mechanically, or physically (the wood is so rotted it could break through, the wires are rotted, and the engine is bad) and risk our employees to test if it is water-ready, then drive it to her.

How about no?

The answer could be "yes" with a suitably high non-refundable fee (payable in advance) to compensate for the risks involved, and a customer signed document that any damage that occurs is entirely the customer's responsibility.

[EricKei]

Quoth Cooper

How about no?

I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

Quoth Ironclad Alibi

... and a customer signed document that any damage that occurs is entirely the customer's responsibility.

Which the cursetomer will, somehow, manage to whine their way out of when someone on your side DOES get hurt on their behalf -- claiming ignorance (or is that admitting?) is a popular version, I hear..."But I didn't knoooooooowwwwwwwww that your worker could have been hurt just because my boat was missing half of the lower hull! He should have been more careful, or just rigged up some ropes and used them to stay three feet above the deck! It's not my fault! Blarrrrrrrrrr---------!"

[Sandiercy]

How about you say "here, have your boat" and let Darwin have another story for his awards.

[MoonCat]

"Sorry, ma'am, when we pushed your boat out into the water, we discovered a huge hole right in the bottom. Yup, taking on water as we speak....oh wait, it's gone. Bye." *click*