The 3 Ps: Porn, Pee and Princess
Today at the library:
1) someone dropped off their porn dvds in the drop box. Can't wait to get this person calling, saying, "my friend accidently dropped off some dvds that don't belong to you."
2) someone peed in one of the study rooms. I logged in a guy into the room at 10 am, and latter the guard told me around 12 it was reported that someon peed in the room. I told the guard I can recognize the person I signed the room out to, but I didn't see the guy.
3) A woman wants a computer use card. I asked if she ever had a card with us, and she said "no". I ask to see her id to get her a computer use card; Her name is "Princess Josephine Jones". Now that seems unique enough, I can't image more than one person with that name (note, her real name does contain the word 'Princess', the rest I changed.). Well howdy, I see "Princess Jones" owes us money, $136. The address on her id (issued in 2012) isn't the same as the library card I see. I asked her if she lived at one time at the address on the record I'm looking at. She says no. She tells me she never had a library card with our branch, and I tell her she could get a card at another branch. Unfortunately the record I'm looking at on my computer doesn't show her date of birth, and since I can't verify it's the same person I can't charge her $1 for a new card.
Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.
Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.
I wish porn had subtitles.