The Sister from Hell -- WTF Do I Do to get 'out'...

[Tama]

I've been going steady with Al for two years (as of 2 days ago) and have been fairly happy. Moved in with him when verbal abuse in my family's home went up to physical via my 60+ grandmother.

Everything was fine for a while. I had to quit my job, then I got work with a temp agency, etc etc.

This would all be tolerable if not for Al's sister.

Let's call her Sarah. (Watch any Youtube clip involving her and Ed Edd n Eddy. It's uncanny!)

She does a lot of shitty things, including:

• All but makes her mom split her monthly Perc prescription, and even steals more from her
• Leaves her daughter with her mom all the time, doesn't tend to the baby much except when her biyearly manfriend is around
• Gets ticked off about little nothings -- cans on the counter, and yells and screams for 1/2 hour+
• Yells and screams some more when you try to defend yourself
• Cries every so often about how hard she's had it (granted bad things HAVE happened, but....ugh!)

This would not normally be a BIG issue, except...

No one says a fucking thing to her. Oh, sure, Al will shout back, but Sarah will scream and push him to a point where HE shouts back, and then SHE doe things like try to cover his mouth. Even slapped him once! ("he looked like he needed it") (And he is a durn big boy, 200+ lbs)

And then after this happens, everyone else apologizes. She starts to apologize. Everything is forgotten.

No one ever stands up to her.

Her mother won't, because she lost two daughters (death of some sort) and has another that won't speak to her. Al won't, because, well--frankly, it IS his mother's place to do it. She is the only one Sarah'd listen to, and even then is frequently picking fights with her over perceived slights.

Am I unreasonable to want out of this? I don't like having to guess whether Sarah or Sybil is going to come out. I shy away from being near her at all.

Yet, I have no money because I have no job. The only job the staff agency HAS right now, is from Bottle Fillers and they won't take me without a doctor's note. (Long story)

Getting another job is also really not feasible because Sarah had a nasty habit (when I worked for Malmart) of waiting until 20 minutes before I had to clock in and saying she was sick or felt tired, and could I call a cab? I have no doubt she'll do this shit if I get another job.

College? The only one I can get into at the moment wants my parents' birth certificates before I can get financial aid. Next year I'll be 24. Waiting hopefully there.

I have somewhat of a talent for writing/proofreading, so if you can give me any advice as to where online I could get work on that, that would be great. I'm already working at little survey/rewards websites and such for entertainment stuff (since you can't move the money away from them, is why I use it that way) .

I'm also trying to work on my novels...but I've been so depressed lately I can barely cruise these and other forums. How do you make yourself get up and go?

On top of all this I actually become dizzy and nauseated when she's on one of her screaming spells...and not even eating something, which works for other "i feel like shit" moments, works well. I have to sit down. Relax. Hard to do with her.

.......okay, rant over. And advice asked for.

I feel a little bit better already.

[PepperElf]

All but makes her mom split her monthly Perc prescription, and even steals more from her
Leaves her daughter with her mom all the time, doesn't tend to the baby much except when her biyearly manfriend is around

Phone call to CPS - she's not caring for her child, passing it off to others, and steals prescription drugs.

No one says a fucking thing to her. Oh, sure, Al will shout back, but Sarah will scream and push him to a point where HE shouts back, and then SHE doe things like try to cover his mouth. Even slapped him once! ("he looked like he needed it") (And he is a durn big boy, 200+ lbs)

Phone call to the cops to press domestic violence charges.


I won't say that this will turn everything into roses. It may cause strife within the family if you turn her into the police like that... but it looks like she's being abusive and emotionally destructive.

As for Al's size - that doesn't really surprise me. Many men, especially physically strong or big men, won't fight back when a woman starts beating on them. Some of it's because they know their own strength. And some of it's because ... if they fight the woman back, they'll be labeled as a woman-beater. And telling the cops "a woman beat me up" may be scoffed at too.


it's not an easy choice to make tho. prosecute and risk being the "bad person" for putting their relative in jail. Or let her continue being abusive to her mother, brother, you, and her child. Not to mention the illegal drug use.

[ralerin]

Writer Access is good. You take a short quiz to figure out on what level thhey place you (2 beingg basic and 5 being the best) and you are offered paid work depending on what they have available. Articles run around 500 words on average with the pay rate being $6 per article, again, on average. You write about -everything-. I wrote articles on draperies, carpeting, hardwood floors and what to pack in a first aid kit, among everything else. They also offer casting calls to write things for clients and idea boxes as well. You need to have a paypal account; and you also have to be up at 4:45 am East Coast time or else you get no work. You also have a limited amount of time to complete each article and another limited time to make changes for the article. You also have to have at least $10 earned in one month before they pay you. They are really good at getting you the money around the 5th of each month or so. I never had a problem not being paid.

The work at home job I do already is similar but completely through a local company that I found through Craigslist.

[Pixilated]

Quoth ralerin

Writer Access is good. *snip*

Bummer. It's not open to writers outside the U.S.

[It's me]

What does Sarah have to do with you getting another job?

[Tama]

I do not have a license. Nor does Al. She would have to drive me.

Her mother had one but due to an accident 2 years ago that was not her fault, lost it.

[Pixilated]

PepperElf has got some good suggestions, as hard as they may be to enact. I think the worst thing to do at this point is nothing, because then nothing will change (except possibly for the worse).

[Slayer]

How's the bus system there? I've riden for over an hour in order to get to an interview before. And again for actual jobs.

I agree with the above suggestions.

[RealUnimportant]

With her violent outbursts & following calms/apologies, is it worth suggesting she get a psych eval?

As for the job, I agree with the others here; if you know she can cause you problems, look for & expect to use a method of transport that doesn't involve her at all. There's every chance that this may also annoy her, but would you rather be annoying her & getting away from her, or annoying her & being stuck at home with her?