The ten worst customers who shop at grocery stores

[joetheman]

Many of these overlap (some are four or five of these sadly), but they are distinctly different in certain ways.
Also if I say "club card" I mean an optional free card used to get discounts, not a card that you actually pay for and need to shop there.

1. The starer

No not at you, they stare at the screen. Intently. Every single thing you ring through they stare at the screen. The instant something comes up not right, the facial expression changes. For some they instantly point it out, but for most it's the facial expression. Then about 5 or 10 more things ring through then they kinda say like "wasn't that supposed to ___?" Really annoying. I love it when customers are on their cell phone because they stop focusing on you so much. I know how to do my job, stop watching me do it.

And after they're done, they go over in a corner and stare at their receipt for ten minutes, and often come back to annoy you about something only to find out they're wrong. And even if they found a legitimate error, I can't do crap about it. Go to customer service and leave me alone. And you're still probably wrong.

2. The robot

Kind of like the starer, this person will not do anything until you've done something. They stand in place until you look at them, then they give you the club card. Then they will stand in place and not move until the order is complete, then will pay. If by card, they will stand in place and not move until the card has gone through, and since we are timed, if you don't have a bagger the idea is to bag all their stuff before you run the card through.
Then a few minutes later they say something like "is this machine stalled or something". And if I run a credit card through, then they will stand there while I'm bagging the entire order by myself, pen in hand, just waiting for that exact moment when I hand them the receipt to sign. Not bagging your own stuff when there's no bagger is perfectly excusable if you're old, handicapped, with a child, whatever. I just hate the perfectly able bodied people who just stand there. And they always say something like "don't you guys have more baggers", "no bagger today huh". I always want to say YES THERE IS A BAGGER ITS YOU.
It's no obligation for the customer to bag, but everyone's always in a hurry and it's a pain in the ass if they just stand there and watch you (I always go slow when perfectly able bodied people do this, especially if they look like they're in a hurry)

3. The bad budgeter

This person will come with a decent amount of stuff, and say they only have 50 bucks or something to spend. The total comes to 50 bucks at like a quarter of the way through their stuff, forcing everything else they bought to be sent to reshop, and most of it's usually cold. Seriously if you only have 50 bucks why the hell did you pick out all that stuff? Come on.
This does NOT include if something is wrong with their credit card, or our overly protective system won't let them write a check because they already wrote one in the last millennium, or whatever. That isn't their fault (usually).

4. The fussy bagger

Ok, I would consider myself a good enough bagger. I don't put things that shouldn't be together together. But don't you just hate the customers that "undo" your bagging, like you put a few things in a bag and pass it over and they take stuff out. I mean if they ask for certain things together, that's fine. But don't unpack bags. Seriously. Or even worse, the ones that refuse to let you touch the bags at all (if you're a bagger this is a nice break actually, but as a cashier it's slow and they just slow up the line).

5. I bring my own bags therefore I'm a better person than you

This is essentially what's going through their heads. There are actually a lot of people who use their own bags who aren't like this, and good for them, but far too many are. This one lady today had one bag at the front of her order for cold (one of those insulated bags, I don't understand why people need those, are you planning on spending the day out with your cold stuff in the car all day?). She had a few more bags later on underneath something. So I pass the first bag down to the bagger and the customer a few seconds later was like "what's wrong with him, I gave him that bag for cold stuff". She actually said that to me, and he could definitely hear it. He actually was gonna put the cold stuff in it but he was putting non cold stuff in plastic. Somehow we're supposed to be psychic and know you have more bags somewhere else.

6. I'm in a bad mood and I'm gonna take it out on you

You notice there's always customers who just seem to be in a bad mood from the start? As in nothing pisses them off but they just are annoyed? I don't really give a shit if you're having a bad day. If I'm having a bad day, do I throw all your groceries around? Then they'll make demands about stuff, and it just doesn't end up well. Just be polite for 30 seconds, ok?

7. The world is my garbage can

Sorry, the world is not your garbage can, and neither is our store. We have plenty of garbage cans in the store. Also if you don't want something, give it to me, don't leave it on top of the magazines. At the end of the day I always find tons of stuff there, and often expired cold foods. Seriously what is wrong with people? Also coupons print out sometimes when the receipt comes out, and you give those to customers. A lot of customers simply pick them out and chuck them back on the register, or a passing customer will chuck a spare bag or something on there.

8. I'm right and I know it

The best example can only be described today. Some guy who was a #1, #2, probably #6, and worst of all #10, eventually came to tomatoes and he was just like no they're 1.99. They came up as 2.49. So i'm just like yeah ok I'll call over a manager to check it out and he basically does some stupid response, like blah blah do what you want I'm right and I know it. She looks at the code and the tomatoes and the guy really doesn't voice his opinion either way. He's right and he knows it, he doesn't need to argue for his side. So she gives him the tomatoes for 1.99. He also becomes a #7 by throwing his coupons on the bottom of the register where stuff is bagged, and I pick them up and motion throwing them back at him. Moments later the manager returns and says "yeah they were 2.49, I just checked and I knew it, I just did that to shut him up". Well said. But it would've been more awesome to go and check beforehand and prove the fucker wrong. It was like organic tomatoes that were on sale or some shit.

Someone else in another register complained about the exact same thing. Maybe this guy's evil twin brother or something. But he was like "well i'm not gonna wait all day to get a price check, I've already waited in line wahh wahh so I don't want them, I'll go to ____ store where they do prices right" and he stormed out. I told that other cashier they are 2.49 and she's like I know you just can't argue with these morons.

9. People who don't understand lines, especially if they're in a hurry

I don't understand customers. I have seen customers walk by two empty lanes and then go wait in line at another empty register. Actually she walked by the two, then turned around, looked down both, walked by again, and waited in line. Or people who will wait behind four people when there's one or no one in the line right next to them. Or people with two items who wait behind huge orders. That's like tailgating a truck going 50 on the interstate. There's something called an express lane, the lane next door, or HEAVEN FORBID the self checkout. Damn that would just suck too much. Too much work, I know.

10. The disgruntled man

This, hands down, is the worst type of customer. The "disgruntled man", coined by me, is the epitome of sucky customers. These are also the people who tailgate you in their big SUVs when you're already going 15 over the limit, but that's a different story. They are often all nine of the other things on this list, except maybe #3 and #5.
Believe me, you know what I'm talking about. They are ALWAYS alone when the shop, generally between the ages of 30 and 60. Never young, and rarely old. Their biggest goal is speed. All they care about is speed. Nothing else matters but about how fast I can go and that I always must be right about everything. I have centered my entire job around hating these idiots. I can recognize them on site now. There's certain characteristics that are hard to explain, but you can tell. There's a disgruntled man sigh, a disgruntled man pose, a disgruntled man smile, everything.
As much as some of the fussy women shoppers can be annoying, nothing is worse than the disgruntled man. They are spawns of satan himself perhaps.

[ArcticChicken]

Quoth joetheman

(one of those insulated bags, I don't understand why people need those, are you planning on spending the day out with your cold stuff in the car all day?).

'Cause sometimes you live an 1/2 an hour away from the grocery store, and sometimes its 90* out, and sometimes you're paranoid about your meat going bad early, and you don't want your ice cream to melt.

[DevilBoy]

This one lady today had one bag at the front of her order for cold (one of those insulated bags, I don't understand why people need those...

Because they saw Alton Brown using one on "Good Eats" and decided it was a 'cool' thing to do... either that or they're just a pretentious asshole.

[joetheman]

haha well Alton Brown is awesome but really I mean my mom just buys groceries and then goes home after that, they'll always be the last stop.

anyway it's not really a big deal if people have those bags. people can do what you want. as long as you're not one of these ten things

[South Texan]

Quoth joetheman

I have seen customers walk by two empty lanes and then go wait in line at another empty register. Actually she walked by the two, then turned around, looked down both, walked by again, and waited in line.

Did she bleat? I have found so many people have the "sheep flock" mentality that makes them doubt anything new and/or anything everyone else isn't doing. These types CANNOT be the first to do something nor can they really think for themselves, so they just follow everyone else.

If you think about it, a lot of politicians wanting to be elected count on these types.

[DesignFox]

Quoth South Texan

Did she bleat? I have found so many people have the "sheep flock" mentality that makes them doubt anything new and/or anything everyone else isn't doing. These types CANNOT be the first to do something nor can they really think for themselves, so they just follow everyone else.

This is very true. Myself and a group of friends tested this theory at the movie theater with fantastic results.

We like to call it the "baa" theory.

[Stormraven]

More on the insulated bags. Alton does recommend that all cold items - especially meat - be chilled for the trip home. Mostly to help diminish any chance of cross-contamination. He also suggests making those the last items you get on your trip through the store.

[Moggie]

Quoth ArcticChicken

'Cause sometimes you live an 1/2 an hour away from the grocery store, and sometimes its 90* out, and sometimes you're paranoid about your meat going bad early, and you don't want your ice cream to melt.

Yepper, it's fairly often well above 90F here for 4-5 months out of the year. If I have to drive longer then 20min. I make sure to bring a cooler or insulated bag and some ice to the store.
Salmonella is a crummy weight-loss product.

[ThreatLevelMidnight]

Quoth joetheman

I just hate the perfectly able bodied people who just stand there. And they always say something like "don't you guys have more baggers", "no bagger today huh". I always want to say YES THERE IS A BAGGER ITS YOU.

Sorry, I have to disagree with this. Unless the store wants to pay me for doing YOUR JOB I am not bagging my groceries. However, unlike your SCs I do not make comments about 'aww, no baggers' or get impatient. Or unbag things.

See also: self-checkouts.

I'm sure the store saving money is a good thing in the long run. However, my days working at the grocery store ended 5 years ago. I have no intention of working for the store, or volunteering for the store, seeing as they don't pay me. If they gave a discount for using self-checkout, maybe I'd consider it.

The rest of your list I met plenty of times.

[Sableonblonde]

I was always unsure about the bagging thing. There have been times when I've gone through a line and there was no bagger, and I kind of stood there awkwardly while the cashier bagged everything, because I honestly don't know if I'm supposed to do it myself or not. The one time I attempted to start bagging some things myself, the cashier kind of abruptly told me "That's okay, I got it" so I figured that that is their job and it annoys them to have customers trying to do it for them